Sunflowerlife

It sounds like you are just hungry when you walk through the door after the gym and I know it's easier to just grab something than it is to make something- is it possible to have a healthy, easy snack that you can munch on while you make your dinner? Or can you batch cook on the weekends so dinner is ready for you when you get home? What do you like to eat post swim?

I'm sorry about the loss of your Dad 4 years ago. That must be very hard. Thinking of you today and hoping you can support yourself with self care and love today, especially during difficult times/emotions.

Sunflowerlife

Just finished a 55 minute meditation - it was really nice and I am feeling very much at peace and ease. I have been really irritable these last few days from the candida cleanse and the herbs I am taking (when the candida dies it releases toxins which can make you feel pretty horrible.) I added bentonite clay to the mix and I think that is helping. My goal today is to return to this state of calm throughout the day, to remind myself that "I am the Light" and that I don't have to be so reactive with the kids.

They are still asleep - all I want is to be kind to them today and not lose my temper or patience with them. It's so hard some days.

We are going out to Bertucci's for Father's Day - I used to binge on their pizza and bread rolls but tonight I will be getting their amazing salad with mozzarella balls- maybe some broccoli on the side as well.

Wishing you all a wonderful Sunday- I commit to 24 hours of abstinence from compulsive overeating.

ProfessorD

Hi Jeni! My father also passed away, so I know how this day can be sort of sad. Nothing to report here, really. Not feeling very well because I didn't sleep great. I also saw a recent photo of myself which is....just not how I want to look. That sounds very minor and petty, I know. Trying not to let it ruin my whole day. I commit to 24 hours of not drinking, not binging, and not restricting. (I think that's all my problems, lol?)

Wow 55 minutes! That's so awesome. Good luck bringing that calm time into your activities with the kids and hubby, Sunflower! You an do it.

venuscat

It's my dad's birthday on the 22nd and only 3 years since he died....way too emotional here now.

MidnightBlue

Hi, guys.

Would you believe I slipped.

Most of you at this thread don't know me but I quit sugar somewhere 5 years ago.

Then all other processed food followed.

I don't eat added sugar, flour, refined carbs, grains, dairy (lots of arguments about this one, of course).

It's a long story how my healthy nutrition way unfolded.

Not in the mood to tell it right after the slip, to be honest.

I haven't read the entire thread, yet.

But the word "restriction" caught my eye.

Of course, there are extremes, but often there is confusion about restriction and discipline.

After a life-long screwed up eating habits the body needs a conscious mind to get back to basics.

As my boy Jocko Willink says "Discipline equals freedom".

Couldn't agree more.

Now about the slip.

Nothing mystical.

My fault completely.

I've got complacent and lost my vigilance.

When a person has no-sugar-no-other crap nutrition habits she wears a huge target on the back.

At every party I have at least one colleague who when noticing I don't eat like 90% of the food there asks "Do you have health problems?".

And lots of people feel like they need to give me their opinion.

"You are too hard on yourself. You are this. You are that. "

Oh, give me a break.

At some point I let this social pressure got under my skin.

"Maybe I am really too hard on myself?"

Since I am not overweight and I work out 5 days a week people can't get why I decided to "deprive" myself of "treats" on my own will.

Anyway.

A week ago I got back from super-crazy and stressful business trip.

On Wednesday I got to the office. I was bored and p****d off at the same time.

Somewhere at lunch time I went for a walk, dropped by a cafe for a cup of coffee, and then (seemingly) out of the blue ordered a three-chocolate cake.

And I just devoured it.

First I was confused: "What the hell was that?".

Then today I went on a legit binge - ice cream and cakes.

Tomorrow I will feel like I am dying.

I know.

That's pretty much it.

I've got it off my chest.

Now it's time to get back to my own values.

Yes. I am hell proud I had enough willpower and guts to consciously choose and foster the healthy lifestyle I am following.

I am not going to "try" to get back on try.

I am throwing the rest of the cakes away right now.

As my another fav no-nonsense guy says ""F**** try. Do".


Jeni!

Synchronisity, darn it!

It was 5 years ago already? WOW!

I have such warm memories about our thread where I was quitting sugar and you were quitting smoking. What a ride!

Do you know I started doing kickboxing about half a year ago?))

Looks like it's time for us to make another kick-arse change.

Sorry you are struggling, but glad you are here.

I missed you, my friend.

venuscat

Glad you are here Midnight. And I know that binge is over....you had a lot of stress on that trip....and a few other things. We are human honey. ♥

biminiblue

The thing is that the words are important.

"Restriction" is an anorexic or eating disorder thing. Deprivation. Control.

What I do is eat mindfully up to but not frequently way over my needs. I think of it as Green Eating - environment-friendly eating. Being a good steward of my body and the planet by not taking more than I need and by eating foods as close to their natural state(s) as I can. But not strictly. Not restrictively or obsessively. Just usually- in a gentle, self-forgiving way.

Not perfect by a long shot. Hippy-dippy

venuscat

I want to respond to something you said in Weekenders here if that's OK Midnight.....I also do not subscribe to going all-out on sugar when we get sober...in fact, the opposite. We need some sugar, so I made sure I would eat something sweet occasionally, I can't eat a lot of fruit....so maybe one cookie....but to be honest, even that was and still is too much for me.

I am an alcoholic....and a food addict in recovery, and I made the decision to get healthy as well as sober.

I think that's why I am so depressed...I am very very ill here....this climate is no good for me. Not sure how to fix that....how does one adjust one's body to different air? And I feel sick every time I have a coffee because the milk here (even the best organic milk) is not real milk. Not the dairy I am used to.

Sorry....went way off track.

MidnightBlue

Semantics is a tricky thing, Bim.

From what I see lots of people see me not eating a cake as "restriction", and the world "never" puts me into a category of "obsessive".

Well, in this case I'd better be obsessed.

Jeni26

Oh wow MB....synchronicity indeed. I well remember our challenges in giving up nicotine and sugar...and here we are again...ready to take the next step. Please don’t be disheartened about the binge, it’s a blip, you got this girl.

Bimini...I totally understand what you mean about language being important and how putting tight restrictions around food leads to control issues. I find it so difficult with healthy eating, because is it ok to have a day when you can have a slice of cake? How does that not end up as a complete binge, because I’m pretty sure it would for me? Do I see this path towards healthy eating as a journey in which I might have some days when I rest and others where I surge forwards, but I’m always heading in the right direction? As an alcoholic I’m pretty much an all or nothing kind of girl, and I guess I might have to challenge some of that thinking actually.

Venus...big hugs to you today.

Hi to everyone else x

venuscat

By the way Midnight ~ I can't eat anything at parties....virtually nothing unless there are vegetables that I can clearly identify and they are not dipped in garlic....I get: so you don't drink or eat?

EDIT: Hi Jen..... ♥
And thank you honey xx

biminiblue

Jeni, heck no. There is no "one piece of cake" for me either. I just don't buy a full cake unless I accept that one cake is one serving.

I do that with other food too, though. French Bread. Cereal. Definitely sugar and flour, but other things too. And natural sugar is not safe really either. I've eaten a whole watermelon in a day or an entire bag of dried apricots, two pounds of bing cherries, or a whole 1500 calorie bag of trail mix. 3000 calories in ice cream. I'm not focused on just sugar and flour. Fruit IS sugar - so - I'm not eliminating fruit.

I've gotten better. I'm not willing to go the rest of my life without ice cream or cherries. So I just don't beat myself up over it any more. I know I'll binge on certain foods. I just don't start on those every day, because I know. I have a lot of foods I know will set me off.

I'm at 22 BMI and my bloodwork is spot on. Has been for years. I exercise. I still have these mini-binges, but I know how to recover now.

I've been working on this for twelve years. Complete restriction doesn't work for me long-term, I just limit my intake by logging calories over TIME. I know that if I eat an entire pumpkin pie I've gone way over my calories, fiber, salt and fat and I'll pay for it in discomfort. I just don't get down on myself about it...move on with lower fat and lower salt and more vegetables *not* in pie form in the next few days. What? Pumpkin pie is a vegetable. Isn't it?

MidnightBlue

It's ok, Venus.

I get what you are saying about sugar cravings when getting sober. But I rather see it as necessary evil. You know, like medicine which can save a life but has severe side effects.

What I strongly disagree with is the "It's ok" approach to this. It's far from being ok. Sorry if I am being harsh.

Yes, we need natural sugar. 1-2 fruit a day will do it. When I was on Ket o I was amazed how many carbs I can get just from veggies alone. Sugar importance for our well-being is extremely overrated.

Sorry you are having hard time adjusting to new climate. Have you seen a doctor about it? Can you try having coffee without milk? I used to love cappucino, now black is my favorite one.

But, honey, whatever health issues you have because of new climate, sugar is definitely not going to fix it. You are a smart girl, deep down you know this.

venuscat

Um....that didn't come across right....I fully agree with you Midnight. 100%. ♥

ProfessorD

Hi MB.

I don't think I'm following the discussion here. I hope we aren't equating restriction with discipline or hard work?

Because I'm still struggling to put food in my mouth this morning, tbh. Just coffee and one slice of cheese so far.

venuscat

Hi love.....ok....maybe an egg as well? Do you like eggs? You can get so much good energy from just one.

ProfessorD

Thanks, venuscat! yes, I will definitely make myself eat more. Love eggs Just making the point that I don't want to jettison the term "restriction" which is helpful to a lot of people, including myself, who negotiate Food Addiction from both ends: over and under consumption.

venuscat

Sure, I seem to be stepping on toes accidentally this morning....so I was only commenting on you eating because I care and because I relate....eating my first thing now and I have been up for three hours.

MidnightBlue

Hi, Professor.

No, of course not.

I need to make my point better, obviously.

Venus has great advice about eggs.

You can try just egg whites to put some protein in you. Whisk them and fry. Add some olive oil and veggies. And you are good to go.

ProfessorD

My bad, all. I felt defensive reading these posts for some reason.