Sunflowerlife

Here's an early CONGRATULATIONS on 4 weeks sober

I am glad you are having a productive and calm day- I adore kickboxing and still have my Taebo VHS tapes from when they first came out in the last 90s. I was actually still doing them up until we moved into this house and now I don't have much of a gym set up (I did in our previous 2 homes.) I do kick the bag sometimes at the gym- such a great stress reliever!

I can understand the obsession with trying on old clothes and it's great that you have the ability to be self aware, trying to stop the behavior before it gets out of hand. I would say that is an achievement in itself. I am also trying to learn how to be more present and less focused on the non-existent future and the body goals I cling on to tightly. Thank you for the reminder to enjoy the journey...

Sunflowerlife

Feeling like crud. Tired, really ready for bed and it's only 6:37 pm.

The boys are being SUPER LOUD today. They are in the backyard and I feel sorry for the neighbors. I am amazed at how much noise 2 little boys can make.

Praying for a better day tomorrow. I will check in as often as I need to and before I am tempted to eat something I shouldn't. That was my mistake today and I knew what I was doing. It was not a good choice.

Goodnight guys...

venuscat

So let us rest....and onto tomorrow. ♥♥

LifeRecovery

I have also found working on my codependent behaviors to be really helpful. I kind of did a reverse to Sparkle in terms of recovery. I was in therapy for my food behavior when I met, loved and married a problem drinker.

The pain of that relationship when it started to not work helped me to really look at my history of pleasing others, into Al-Anon, and here, and frankly for me how my trying to make everyone else happy honestly made me engage with food.....because I had the sense that I could control it. I find many people in Al-Anon can relate to this part of my story.

My food behaviors have swung from restriction to overeating, under to over exercising and any place in between.

For a long time my behavior was to items that happened weeks, months or years prior (it is much more immediate now).

I know I commented about non-food soothing ways for me.

Engaging with friends, reading, watching shows that are more dramatic then my life help. Being with my dogs, being active, doing yoga or meditation, taking a nap all help me. Getting body work done. Therapy for me now (it used to be painful, now it is lovely)

Letting go that my food behaviors were a measurement of my character helped immensely to allow myself to sink into this. I finally allowed myself the luxury of recovery, and that I deserved it. I used to struggle with basic self-care like brushing my teeth. Now I know I deserve it.

I have a copy of this book which has some great ideas: 50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food by Susan Albers.

For me I had the idea that I did not deserve care. Now I believe that taking care of me (remember I don't have small kids) is my only job in life and is never a bad choice.

topspin

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Congrats on your four weeks Prof D !!


I'm with you and Venus on weighing ourselves . It seems a wildly inaccurate way to even evaluate overall health or fitness .

...muscle weighing more than fat and all ,... anyway ,... the way clothes are fitting next season seems more. than enough detail .

( for me ,, anyway )


It's exciting so many here are giving up ( so called ) * food * with the added sugar !!

Forgive my snarky comment ,..it's kind of how I feel about some stuff marketed to us as *food*

( climbing off soapbox )

Sunflowerlife

Thank you for sharing all of this and the name of that book. Going to request it from the library today. It sounds like you have come a long way and I am sure that feels really good. I think even if we have kids taking care of ourselves is always #1.

Sunflowerlife

I agree it's not food. What a shame it's all over the place, surrounding us and creeping it's way into our homes and our children's lives. You know I didn't give my first born sugar until he was 3 or 4. The cupcakes I made him on his 2nd birthday were gluten free vegan and made with avocados plus the icing was avocado and coconut milk! I spend hours on them, the other kids thought they were gross and then somewhere along the line after I had my second, everything went out the window. The homemade crackers I used to make became replaced with store bought ones. He got his first lollipop after a haircut. I gave up my passion about making things from scratch- life got busier and I was suffering from post partem depression. Still, I wish I had stuck with it. My youngest is a carb craver at the age of 3.5. He cries for pancakes every morning and we are trying to help him adapt his pallette for non-sweets at this point. It's awful. I feel guilty. I hope I can make these changes now before it's too late.

venuscat

Love ~ what about sugar from fruit in the morning for your little one? I know you don't eat it, but I imagine you have it for the kids.....orange juice, a few coloured berries on a plate with breakfast....just thinking.....

Sunny knows about this, but you guys cannot imagine what it's like to move from Australia to the US food-wise. I was so so shocked. No, the bread in the supermarkets is not food, most of the cheese is not food.....I know you don't eat these things but I do......the eggs....My God....I was in hell.

Now I have EVERY organic brand of everything you can eat or use in this country. And this weekend we will go to farmers markets that are the best in Ohio (maybe ) and they are very close.

Sorry...still three-quarters asleep.

Someone has 4 weeks sober today.....very cool....
Congrats ProfD!!!! ♥♥♥♥

AAPJ

At my AA home group we have a treasurer who reports our finances quarterly. I think the church room rent is the biggest expense. We usually have excess funds and we donate them to the regional AA group who uses them for whatever. I think the regional group uses the money to support other groups in the poor parts of town. To be honest I don't pay that much attention to the details.

Here's how I look at it. I go to an AA meeting and spend about an hour there. The cost to me is a one or two dollar donation. I mean a one hour visit to the therapist is $75 per hour or more. Right? An AA meeting is great value that I can't come close to matching anywhere else except other 12 step groups. These groups are run/managed by volunteers. To me asking questions about the money is simply not needed. I am (selfishly) focused on trying to recover and the value is there.

venuscat

I think it's more that OA is a bit different and maybe it wasn't clear what the donations were going for.....sorry to butt in.....big AA person here too. ♥

Sunflowerlife

They get fresh fruit at every single meal
He just craves the maple syrup. We do a lot of full fat yogurt with honey and oatmeal for them but in my dream world they would be eating eggs and fruit, maybe a slice of toast with Kerrygold butter for breakfast not crying for pancakes (which we allow on the weekends.) they will eat eggs sometimes I just wish it was more regular. My husband and I talk about making big changes to their diets but just haven’t made a plan to implement yet. It will happen soon.

It must be hard to miss your foods from back home. We buy mostly organic too and pasture raised eggs is a non negotiable! Even at over $5 a dozen. My husband manages a health food store so we get a good discount luckily.

Hope you are feeling better today. I’m on my spin bike but I’m grouchy as hell. Just got my period so at least there’s an explanation for the cravings yesterday. That makes me feel a little bit better.

Xoxo

Sunflowerlife

I was not judging it. I was curious because I don’t recall it from when I last went over ten years ago. Plus I am new. I’ve been to two meetings. I am sure I am not the only newbie with questions about donation money. Sorry my question offended you.

venuscat

Ah yes....hormones are SO much fun.

The breakfast you want to give the kids is perfect as far as I am concerned.
And the pancake thing.....weekends only.....you and your husband might want to pick a week when you are both very calm, and just say no. Let him scream until he gets hungry. I know that sounds mean....maybe it is. Hmm.

Sunflowerlife

Yes. We’ve already talked about how it will b a rough week or two but we are willing to do it. Just need to meet at some point (we have to schedule days and times to meet) and plan it out.

Sunflowerlife

I’m in a terrible mood and going to wish you all a good day. I am going to see a good friend this morning and I hope that will turn this all around for me. I wish you all a wonderful day.

venuscat

Sending you all of my love. ♥♥

ProfessorD

Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. I feel calm and more determined than ever to get another sober month.

This morning I woke up soooo hungry. Which is good and makes sense given my calorie restriction and working out regimen right now, but I was worried I was going to binge. I ate two slices of cheese, then made a larger than usual bowl of greek yogurt and almond butter....well, I ate only half of the bowl and felt too full to keep eating. So, the moral of the story is: my body is on my side if I listen to it. I'm stronger than I think, and I didn't binge. I ate just enough, then I was full.

Sunflowerlife

Beautiful ProfD. It's really amazing when we can get to the place where we can actually hear what our body wants and needs. If anyone is interested, these are the steps we learned in my spiritual class, around food and each meal:

"When you sit down to eat, ask yourself if there is anything else you need other than eating. If there is, take care of that and do it. If there is not, then you can eat. Ask yourself if what you are eating is what your body really wants (by taste, touch, smell, sight, and thought). Use your full awareness to see what food your body really wants if any. Take deep breaths, and contact the feeling in your belly of effortlessly receiving nourishment for the purpose of joyfully and joyously growing. Take three deep breaths, and acknowledge that the most important nourishment comes from spirit. Eat with presence. Eat only when you are relaxed into effortless taking in nourishment to grow physically, emotionally, cognitively or spiritually. Eat more slowly and experience more dimensions of eating. "

I haven't been doing this, I will admit but when I was it actually worked. I found my body didn't want eggs for about week and a half (probably because I was vegan for so long.) But then I started binging again and it's very hard to connect with my body when I am actively hurting it.

WeaverBird

Morning Sunny, Good Day to All,

After a shaky day yesterday, I am on track today with no sugar or wheat but then it is only 2 pm here. Plenty of scope to lose it around my slump time at 3-4 and then again around dinner when I'm tired.

Maybe 3 meals and nothing in between won't work for me. It's a long time from lunch to dinner. Maybe yoghurt and fruit in the afternoon. But then again, it could take a while for my system to settle down.

All the things that I learned in AA about alcohol addiction are true of the food. Time seems to have slowed down, and I wonder what I will do with all the time I suddenly have on my hands. I am so obsessed with what I will eat, making sure I buy it, shopping for 'treats' every day. It's a full-time job.

Love and prayers to every one of you. I hope you are all practising self-care to the extent you are able at this moment in time

PeacefulWater12

Hello all

Great to catch up on all the posts. Lots of ups and downs.

I am mid afternoon of my day 6 abstinent. I am in UK. Going really well.

Breakfast was protein, I piece of wholemeal bread

Lunch was protein and fruit. Dinner will be protein, veg, small amount of boiled potatoes. Calorie goal is 1500.

Had Yoga mid morning which was fabulous.

Loving this clean eating.

Emotions stable and level. Had a big wobble last night and worked it through with my sponsor. My feeling was that it was nothing to do with anything tangible, more a "burp" coming up and out as part of my climbing back on clean eating wagon after a brief dip back into sugar and refined carbs.

I used to hang emotions like that on whatever was nearest and most handy to use, I now realise it is just something inside me.

Just out of interest, talking about 12 steps meetings in earlier posts, I qualify for AA, OA, Al-anon & ACoA. Its funny, I found each type of meeting had a very different feel. I liked ACoA best as it seemed so soft and gentle.