New and already knackered!
 

Hey

Been off the drink for about 3 and a half weeks and I have under six months to finish my Phd. I live out in the sticks in the middle of nowhere, am working seven days a week (keeps me out of mischief) and when I come home I eat and sleep, normally by ten. My relationship is pretty dire but I’m too busy to deal with that atm - working so hard and having no life is pretty tiring. Hope I can survive the next six months ...

Welcome! Drinking and grad school go hand in hand, so I totally relate! Sounds like you have a lot of hard work and stress at the moment, but congrats on your sober time. that's awesome!

Thanks prof was nice chatting to you - and lovely to receive a warm welcome! The stress I have atm is ridiculous and I hope I can manage it - but my Phd deserves the very best I can give it - I cannot let any drinking interfere with my life’s dream as I’d never forgive myself - I guess for me, my Phd is the higher power that may bring me to sanity and hopefully a changed and positive life - I’m willing to put my chips in to see this turn of the wheel - but I’ll need all the support you guys can give but I’ll also try to return when I can - thanks again

Welcome!

One of my motivations for quitting was a transfer back to HQ, after a stint in a smaller office overseas. Moving back was a make-or-break matter. I too knew it was a chance I was fortunate to have, as it would mean a career-making move if executed properly. So I completely get the "can't afford to screw this up" mentality you have.

It can be a strong incentive. Let it be just that. Listen to that voice that is commanding you to give this everything you've got.

Ultimately the journey has been even more rewarding than I thought it would be. It hasn't been completely smooth sailing but at least I know I've given it my best (sober) shot. The doors that opened were kind of different from what I expected and I've matured so much along the way. I'll NEVER regret the effort I put into cleaning up for that move.

All the best, stay focussed.

"One who has a 'why' can survive any 'how'".

Welcome, Irish!

Having a specific goal in mind can be helpful for maintaining your sobriety! I hope you get some time to relax and enjoy life. :)

Hi Irish, I had over 5 months sober last year. One of the factors was keeping a clear head for a new job/ career change. The longer I was off the drink the more everything just seemed to fall into place.

Fast forward to me thinking I could control it. After my last binge 28th April I realised that enough is enough. It ruined me for a week right in the middle of a training course.

The anxiety I had plus trying to hide the hand tremors, and slow reactions made me realise how much more productive I had been during the 5 months last year.

32 days in now and feeling good, still get cravings but I know the end goal will be worth it.

Likewise for you, if you stay off it I bet you will see an improvement in your work and what you can cope with.

Good luck

Hi and welcome Irish

I found balance was important - I got more done by taking breaks here and there than by working myself think all day everyday.

Think of other ways to relax and wind down other than drinking - exercise, reading, hobbies, guided meditations...whatever works.

D

As much as it seems like a good thing sometimes to be working this hard, it's not. I too work quite alot to keep myself out of mischief as you put it.

Recently over the years I have made steps to try to balance my work life with MY life and iam glad I did.

Take the time to Set yourself some new goals that will have more balance with work and your own life.

Thank you so much for this - it’s really inspirational :) I really hope this opens new doors for me too or windows! Or chimneys! This to me is the most important thing I’ve ever done and I know I would regret it forever if I didn’t give it my best sober shot - thank you x

Thanks to everyone for your warm welcomes and replies :)

As I live in the middle of nowhere and don’t drive my options for relaxation are limited!

Normally I watch tv or I go to bed with a book as soon as I get home lol! At least I’m resting? My mind is so broken after a full day I’m normally not in the mood to do anything - is hard to balance sobriety, a difficult relationship, isolation and a PhD all at once - tiring.

There’s not even an AA meeting here for miles! SR is really it for me!

I’m very frustrated today as there a another Phd guy who sleeps here (in a shared office), gets drunk here never cleans and is being a real jerk - I’ve reported it but I’ve been told that his supervisors know and don’t care - I could cry today tbh it’s ruined my productivity and now I have another 8 hours to kill before I sleep .... think I’m going to go home and cry, please god let there be something on Netflix that can restore me to sanity ...

Irish, you're doing great.

Other people are annoying sometimes, for sure. Why can't they just act the way I think they should act? :lmao:

Can you get outside and take a walk? That always resets me and connects me with the bigger picture. Nature has a way of healing, and walking is meditative for me. Regulates my breathing, slows down my overly busy brain.

This PhD will give you so many options. Congrats on all your hard work coming to fruition.

Thanks, today we all sent emails to the head of his department. I don’t expect anyone to act how I think they should, but getting drunk and sleeping on the floor of our communal office every night has an incredibly negative impact not just on me but on all my colleagues, it IS a work office after all. He can be quite aggressive especially when you wake him in the mornings when you come in to work!

In short this is unacceptable behaviour that no one should have to put up with, especially when handling sobriety and trying to work in the same office he sleeps in (and washes his clothes in the sink).

I feel a little better now that we are channeling our frustrations - I will try my best to remember to breathe his weekend as I have nowhere else to work :( This is hard

Sounds difficult, for sure. As long as you don't drink at it, you'll be okay! I'm glad you are all working toward the solution. Well done. Have you thought about calling the police when he gets drunk and aggressive?

Thank you!! Yes it helped! I am a little nervous about the weekend though - hopefully he won’t be drinking in the office as he has a temper and mentions getting in fights a lot! Here’s no real security but I’ll keep my phone on me at al times just in case