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Drunk boyfriend won't move out

Old 05-28-2018, 09:32 AM
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Drunk boyfriend won't move out

We just moved into a house (the lease is in my name not his). I told him prior to moving in that he needed to get a support group for his drinking and that if he brings his drunk lifestyle into this house I will have him removed immediately. Well so goes it he he was "good" for the first month and now he back to his old ways of staying out all night drinking coming home wasted passing out , he even started bringing friends over and beer into the house for the first time ever. I tell his friends to leave of course. And I have asked him to leave as well , but he won't go. He says he has a right to live here and he will make my life difficult and not leave. I feel like I'm stuck in the twilight zone with no way out. The only bill that is in his name is the internet. I was going to put all his stuff into storage today while he was at work , but he decided to stay home because I told him I was going to remove his stuff. I'm sick to my stomach and don't know what to do!
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Old 05-28-2018, 09:43 AM
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Yeh, you'll need to contact an attorney. Landlord tenant rights vary.
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Old 05-28-2018, 09:55 AM
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When I needed my XABF to move out and knew he would refuse and delay until I "chilled out", I called the police and asked their advice. I knew it might require an official eviction notice plus 30 days, and I was willing to pursue that route--but HE didn't know that, plus he was overconfident that I would change my mind (as I had in the past). Also, most of his energy went to drinking, recovering from drinking, and dealing with the aftermath of his drinking, so I rolled the dice a bit and told him I had talked to the police, and that they would get involved if he wasn't out of the house by the end of the week.

He played every card except the smart one, which would have been to find out himself whether or not I could force him out. He begged me to reconsider, he promised he would change, he told me he had nowhere to go, he even told me that in the third largest city in the world, he could not even find a hotel room for the night. I had to stay firm. I reiterated my deadline. He made one last effort, crying, asked for a hug, then asked me again to change my mind. I told him no, because by then I could see that to him, all he wanted was to get me to let him stay. He had no intention of changing. He had never even said he was sorry for knocking over my Christmas tree or taking my dog out of the house without her leash. I was not a person to him. I was a means to an end.

I would contact an attorney to understand what your rights are. But I would also not expect him to act like a rational person would.
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Old 05-28-2018, 09:56 AM
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If his name isn't on the lease you should be able to go to the police and ask for him to be removed as by definition he is trespassing if you have not agreed he can be there. Then give him 48 hours to come an collect his stuff at an agreed time and day which the police can also attend at the same time. Depends what country you are in though on what rights you have?

Also as you are the only one on the rental agreement you can ask your landlord to change the locks. If the BF turns up and causes any trouble you can call the police. Any further trouble he gives you after this will be grounds for a restraining order (USA) or an injuction (UK) meaning he cannot come within 100 yards of you or the property or he can be immediately arrested.
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Old 05-28-2018, 10:04 AM
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Originally Posted by MantaLady View Post
If his name isn't on the lease you should be able to go to the police and ask for him to be removed as by definition he is trespassing if you have not agreed he can be there. Then give him 48 hours to come an collect his stuff at an agreed time and day which the police can also attend at the same time. Depends what country you are in though on what rights you have?

Also as you are the only one on the rental agreement you can ask your landlord to change the locks. If the BF turns up and causes any trouble you can call the police.
In the US, that would not be the case: in many states - if not all - he would have to be legally evicted since he has residency; and that internet bill is sufficient to prove residency. She can find Landlord Tenant rights online on the official government website for her area, though.

I agree with SparkleKitty - he may not know that. It just sounds like someone who says, "I'll make it difficult," may have had previous experience with this.

I won't even give anyone a key to my place, that's enough to establish residency in my state (along with that internet bill, I'd have to have a legal eviction done - which can take up to a year in my state. Unfortunately I had to do this once.)
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Old 05-28-2018, 12:00 PM
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Thank you for your replies. If I proceed with putting his stuff into storage and taking his keys away, will he be able to press charges against me? I live in California.
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Old 05-28-2018, 12:06 PM
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Honestly we can't answer that.

Have you looked at the California statutes about landlord tenants?

I would first of all talk to the actual owner of the property and see what they say. I don't think they will change locks, though. They may start evictions on you if he causes an issue - so it's best to get them on your side early on.

You know him best. If you think you can get away with just moving his stuff out, try that. Who is going to pay for the storage? He could drag that out for years, too. You can't rent storage in his name, you'll be responsible for payments and any damage he might do to the storage facility. I mean, you'll run into the same problem with his stuff in some storage unit as you are running into now. I wouldn't go that route.

Seems like he wouldn't try to get back in if all his stuff is out - but the police might tell you differently. Have you called the police for info? How do you know he'll just hand over the key to your place?

You can always break your lease and move out yourself. Might be cheaper than trying to hire an attorney and evict.
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Old 05-28-2018, 12:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Amusic View Post
Thank you for your replies. If I proceed with putting his stuff into storage and taking his keys away, will he be able to press charges against me? I live in California.
Could be..do your research. I know in the few states I've lived in,if someone receives mail at the house they are residents.
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Old 05-28-2018, 12:12 PM
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Thank you again. Yes , I am considering breaking the lease. I think that might be the safest route.
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Old 05-28-2018, 12:27 PM
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Talk to the landlord and see what they say. What you don't want to do is just disappear and not tell the landlord - do it the right way, and tell them what's going on. Otherwise, if you just leave, it costs the landlord a lot of money and it will affect your credit and ability to rent again. Do it the right way, you'll be responsible for the remainder of the lease (or in some cases until the unit is re-rented) - depends on your landlord.

Man, I'd just do a consultation with a lawyer. If you leave and drunk guy doesn't - then you could be liable for the costs of evicting him anyway (plus any damages he and his friends do) - on top of the remainder of the lease. How did he get a key? Did you give it to him?
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Old 05-29-2018, 01:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Amusic View Post
Thank you again. Yes , I am considering breaking the lease. I think that might be the safest route.
i dont think so. the safest route would be to find out your rights.
breaking the lease will be costly and could go on your credit report.
is your addy on his ID?

edit- according to california law, if the apt lease is less that 30 days old, hes not a tenant. if thats that case his crap can go to the curb and he must vacate immediately.
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Old 05-29-2018, 02:54 AM
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Packing up and leaving on your end should not be necessary at all. There is no reason to go through all that effort, not to mention likely ruin your credit and chances of getting another place to live over someone else.
Simply calling the landlord and non-emergency police line to see what you can do is the simplest route. They deal with situations like this all the time and can let you know what to do.
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Old 05-29-2018, 05:43 AM
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Wow I never knew kicking someone to the curb could be so difficult. And I can't imagine being the kind of person that would behave in such a way. Alcoholic or not, this guy is a piece of work. I concur on the legal counsel...then take it from there.
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Old 05-29-2018, 05:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Frickaflip233 View Post
Wow I never knew kicking someone to the curb could be so difficult. And I can't imagine being the kind of person that would behave in such a way. Alcoholic or not, this guy is a piece of work. I concur on the legal counsel...then take it from there.
Has anyone in the USA heard of the story of the American couple who couldn't evict their 30 year old son from the house. Ultimately, they took it to court.
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