I might be an alcoholic if___________________
 

The local recycling company called me offering to drop off a 40 yard dumpster for my glass and cans - seems there's quite a shortage.

I know exactly how many beers are in the fridge at all times and when I'll need to volunteer to run up to the store for a gallon of milk.

I smile to myself thinking I have found the perfect hiding place for the vodka bottle but suddenly can't remember where that is?!

I lie so often to cover up the fact that I need to go get hammered instead of being responsible I almost forget how to tell the truth.

I go for drinks and keep coming hope at the right time on the wrong day.

When you're managing your budget and factoring in your alcohol requirements for the week. And if your budget is short you start removing necessities.

I start drinking vodka on the rocks at 8 a.m. just because I can.

I get angry and defensive if someone mentions my drinking.

"they just don't understand how hard it is to be me." :lmao

Yes, like food, soap and deodorant!

For me, i wouldn't go to any social event if there wasn't going to alcohol there

My boyfriend tells me he's not drunk when he is drunk. This is how both parties become certifiably insane....

Everything that comes out of my mouth is a lie and I break out in a rash of handcuffs when I drink.

I take vodka in an empty water bottle to work.
I become confrontational & am told "You're not yourself". (Hated that!)
I have beer for breakfast. (Have to stop the shakes, you know...)

Oh my, flashback! I put vodka in empty water bottle too to carry with me, also in bottles of Diet Pepsi to drink in my work out classes!

Yikes, I had forgotten about that.

I become conscious and, my first thought is: where’s my dog!?

I have to check my fridge, cupboards and, garbage to see what and if I ate!

I tell myself I won't drink today and I do.

I haven't told the truth about anything for 5 years.

... when you're actually considering spending a considerable amount of money on a hip flask. I forgot about that one.

I might be an alcoholic if___________________

im NOT an alcoholic!
im NOT an alcoholic!!
im NOT an alcoholic!

:eek5:

LOL - too right TomSteve :lmao

You inject an orange with copious amounts of vodka. For your lunch. As you do.

I had pockets sown into the back of my boxer shorts so I could sneak booze into places I get searched (events, etc).

I keep a large, empty, fast-food, cup, in my car so I can put a can of beer inside and cover it up with the cover so it looks like I'm drinking soda out of a straw.

I wake up in the morning and check my phone out of fear of what I said to people the previous night when I didn't care.

Shower Beers.

The random, empty, bottles, cans, around my house due to sneaking booze when I went to the bathroom, or changed my clothes.

I carry reusable grocery bags so it looks like I've been to Whole Foods instead of the liquor store, just so my neighbors won't know how much I drink.