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Humility

Old 05-27-2018, 06:51 AM
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Humility

Being humble is what contented sobriety is all about for me. Gratitude and humility go hand-in-hand. It’s a lovely feeling too.

Grateful to be sober.
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Old 05-27-2018, 07:01 AM
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I couldn't agree more! brighterday.
Being grateful and humble is what keeps me sober.
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Old 05-27-2018, 07:31 AM
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Grateful myself for another sober weekend.
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Old 05-27-2018, 07:50 AM
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Me too! Addiction is the most selfish disease. Today I am so grateful for my family, my home, my fur babies and to be sober. It’s been a rough go with many starts and stops. Thanks for the reminder in this post!
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Old 05-27-2018, 09:37 AM
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Me too.
Humility takes work for me, but is so worth it. I'm grateful for it now.
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Old 05-27-2018, 10:19 AM
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Being humble is an elusive butterfly, the minute I think I am,... I ain't.
I do love and appreciate butterflies though and will not stop in my pursuit of them!
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Old 05-27-2018, 10:42 AM
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brighterday1234 writes>>>Being humble is what contented sobriety is all about for me. Gratitude and humility go hand-in-hand. It’s a lovely feeling too.<<<

The Jesuit Priest I took my 5th steps with said, “Humility is the essential condition from which all other attributes proceed, humility cannot exist without pride”.
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Old 05-27-2018, 12:27 PM
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humility cannot exist without pride”.

This. I believe so many of my 'character defects' (or whatever one wishes to call them) are deeply entwined with my character assets. I can't know one side of the coin without knowing there is another. I guess its all in intent and motive. Run riot or measured. Dark and light.
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Old 05-27-2018, 12:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Frickaflip233 View Post
humility cannot exist without pride”.

This. I believe so many of my 'character defects' (or whatever one wishes to call them) are deeply entwined with my character assets. I can't know one side of the coin without knowing there is another. I guess its all in intent and motive. Run riot or measured. Dark and light.
Hmm... except that the point of humility (in AA at least) is to overcome self-will (a character defect) so that God's will can prevail. Theoretically, there are no "character assets" -- there is only God's will, and that which blocks you from God's will.

Is there such a thing as "God's will run riot?"
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Old 05-27-2018, 12:57 PM
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Yes, it's a frame of reference...I don’t know what a lie is, unless I have a frame of reference for the truth. Character is what I do when no one is looking, and for me, the reason I understand this is because I have scruples. I may be wrong (I’m teachable), but I believe that unless one has scruples they cannot get sober. They may attain abstinence, but not sobriety.

Personality, not to be confused with character is basically in-born / genetic brain wiring. This is one of many reasons why I don’t shoot the messenger no matter how much I dislike their personality. Everyone teaches me, every person on earth and every living thing knows something I don’t know.

Bottom line, my perception of life / existence is completely subjective!!
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Old 05-27-2018, 01:06 PM
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When we were kids, and would brag about something, my dad would always say, "your humility is underwhelming".
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Old 05-27-2018, 01:25 PM
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I need more humility as I was so selfish and self centered when I was drinking all the time. I look forward to a new way of thinking and when I go through my 12 steps, maybe I will see how a normal person thinks and behaves.
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Old 05-27-2018, 01:40 PM
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Any excuse to share my favourite prayer for humility....

Humility Prayer.

God. I pray for your help in detaching from the desire of being:
admired,
loved,
praised,
favoured,
accepted,
consulted,
well known,
and honoured.

I pray for your help in detaching from the fear of being:
Criticised,
ridiculed,
humiliated,
falsely accused,
persecuted,
disbelieved,
despised,
and forgotten.

Please grant me the grace to desire that others may be :
Admired more than I, praised when I am unnoticed, chosen though I may be set aside, preferred to me, and increase in prominence though I remain hidden.

Although others will do what they want, I pray that you will use me for your will.

I pray that I will pause, and while I pause help me to remember to pray for guidance and grant me the humility to find willingness and discard willfulness.

Lord, please open my eyes and ears, and help me to recognise my inner child and not act on its whims and fears.

AMEN.
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Old 05-27-2018, 01:59 PM
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Andante writes>>>Hmm... except that the point of humility (in AA at least) is to overcome self-will (a character defect) so that God's will can prevail. Theoretically, there are no "character assets" -- there is only God's will, and that which blocks you from God's will.<<<

You see it as a theory, I see it as MY reality, due to my self-will being why I got sober. What helped me is realizing and defining SYMPTOM, which is an indicator of the problem. My alcoholic drinking was both a problem and symptom. What causes the common cold is the problem and the bodies healing resistance that manifests different symptom(s) is an uncomfortable problem, but never the less is still the symptom. e.g., upper & lower respiratory, running nose, watery eyes, sneezing, coughing discomfort due to coughing, etc. Once the immune system adjusts the symptom and problem go away. Therefore, my alcoholic drinking was the symptom(indicator) of the problem that was my unresolved emotional / mental issues and when these issues were identified and solved I got sober.

I grew-up Christian and the nuns taught me that God gave me free will. I asked does God take my free will away, the nuns said no, it’s a gift from God due to you being created in the image and likeness of God. What you do with your free will is your choice and you choose based on you frame of reference to what is right and wrong, morality. This understand makes you culpable for your behavior. In other words, as the metaphor judgement day, I keep track of my life, I’m the only one that judges myself, not God or any finite human.
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Old 05-27-2018, 02:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Berrybean View Post
Any excuse to share my favourite prayer for humility....

Humility Prayer.

God. I pray for your help in detaching from the desire of being:
admired,
loved,
praised,
favoured,
accepted,
consulted,
well known,
and honoured.

I pray for your help in detaching from the fear of being:
Criticised,
ridiculed,
humiliated,
falsely accused,
persecuted,
disbelieved,
despised,
and forgotten.

Please grant me the grace to desire that others may be :
Admired more than I, praised when I am unnoticed, chosen though I may be set aside, preferred to me, and increase in prominence though I remain hidden.

Although others will do what they want, I pray that you will use me for your will.

I pray that I will pause, and while I pause help me to remember to pray for guidance and grant me the humility to find willingness and discard willfulness.

Lord, please open my eyes and ears, and help me to recognise my inner child and not act on its whims and fears.

AMEN.

This is true humility and I made a copy of it for myself.

Thanks!
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Old 05-28-2018, 08:37 PM
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BDTL writes>>>my favourite prayer for humility....

This is your belief, I don't disrespect it, my belief is that all belief is valid, as long as it's not injurious to others. However, the 2 words on your prayer list that I see differently in the context of humility, are love and criticism.

One of the major problems and not just for those that are addicted, is the inability to receive love which begins in childhood, due to being raised by parents that didn't know how to receive love and this is passed on to the child. One cannot possibly know how to love, if they didn't learn how to receive love.

Receiving love is the greatest gift in the universe, for if I can receive love, I’m automatically giving love. There is no thought with receiving love from my grandchildren, it just flows.

Agape is a Greco-Christian term referring to love, "the highest form of love, charity" and "the love of God for man and of man for God".

There’s a distinct difference between constructive criticism and non- constructive criticism which is marginalization. Marginalization is what the Pharisees practiced for power, control and fame.

Constructive criticism is a good thing, it’s a valuable tool in the workplace that allows individuals to learn and grow. Quite often people don't realize what a great resource it can be. The truth is, feedback and criticism has helped me succeed in the workplace and in life. I couldn’t have taken steps 4 through 9 without constructive criticism from others.

Constructive Criticism helps me with a new perspective and opens my eyes to things I may have overlooked or never considered. Whether it's a peer review of my work or a performance review, constructive criticism and feedback can help me grow by shedding light and giving me the opportunity for improvement. It's important that I don't take criticism personally, it's meant to help me learn and grow and is not an attack on my skills or character.
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Old 05-28-2018, 10:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Bullwinkle1944 View Post
BDTL writes>>>my favourite prayer for humility....

This is your belief, I don't disrespect it, my belief is that all belief is valid, as long as it's not injurious to others. However, the 2 words on your prayer list that I see differently in the context of humility, are love and criticism.

One of the major problems and not just for those that are addicted, is the inability to receive love which begins in childhood, due to being raised by parents that didn't know how to receive love and this is passed on to the child. One cannot possibly know how to love, if they didn't learn how to receive love.

Receiving love is the greatest gift in the universe, for if I can receive love, I’m automatically giving love. There is no thought with receiving love from my grandchildren, it just flows.

Agape is a Greco-Christian term referring to love, "the highest form of love, charity" and "the love of God for man and of man for God".

There’s a distinct difference between constructive criticism and non- constructive criticism which is marginalization. Marginalization is what the Pharisees practiced for power, control and fame.

Constructive criticism is a good thing, it’s a valuable tool in the workplace that allows individuals to learn and grow. Quite often people don't realize what a great resource it can be. The truth is, feedback and criticism has helped me succeed in the workplace and in life. I couldn’t have taken steps 4 through 9 without constructive criticism from others.

Constructive Criticism helps me with a new perspective and opens my eyes to things I may have overlooked or never considered. Whether it's a peer review of my work or a performance review, constructive criticism and feedback can help me grow by shedding light and giving me the opportunity for improvement. It's important that I don't take criticism personally, it's meant to help me learn and grow and is not an attack on my skills or character.
Exactly. I'm not sure what you think is different in our understanding of these things. The prayer is not asking that these things won't happen. It is about 'detaching from the fear of being criticised, ' not asking that we won't be criticised. It asks for 'help in detaching from the desire of being ' loved, etc. Which is not the same as not wanting to be loving.

In my recovery I've realised how, in the past, fear has keep me defensive and inward looking. It made me resistant to any constructive criticism (seeing only criticism, and not seeing any reason there should be change or could be growth) . The prayer is about having an attitude of humility, asking that we will not be fearful of criticism, precisely to allow for growth, and not be fearful of it.

And Agape is only possible when we are in a state of humility. When we're not so busy looking to BE loved that we forget TO love. It is a long way removed from my old idea of love - which pretty much booked down to patching problems with people. All about me. Quite horrible now but very clearly the case on my step 4. In the past I made giving love conditional on recieving it, so fearful was I that I was unlovable. Extending our love beyond the bounds of our safe reciprocal relationships to those others who may not be so easy to love. When Jesus told us to love our neighbours, I believe that is exactly the kind of love he meant. But he didn't restrict it to our family and friends. Our neighbours! Boy, have you MET some of those people? They're not so easy to love at times. When they're cutting us up on the road, and refusing to return our smile, treading on our flower beds, and malingering with our daughter. When a pupil at work is swearing or hitting or purposefully peeing on the floor and acting horribly. When someone in the team is slacking off constantly. Humility is the one thing that can make it possible. In the rooms of AA we have the traditions and the steps to help guide us in it at least, and as I've learned to apply these to out side the rooms more and more, then the world has started to seem a happier place to be.

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