Lorij13099

When you have the urge to drink, what do you do instead. I'm okay during the week when I'm busy at work but I'm scared for this weekend, with open ended plans. HELP!
Day 5 sober!

Healthyandsober

scared about this weekend too. I am running everytime i have a craving and everyday. i used to go to aa you can try that. basically you need to make a plan to cover your bases when those cravings come.

can't wait for monday this weekend is ...im struggling day 13 again all over

August252015

Hi and good question! Great job on 5 days- AND for posting here before the holiday weekend really kicks off!

A very strong tool I learned early on, and heard lots of people corroborate as one they use often, is to "play the tape through." Meaning, think of this: if you start drinking tonight (for example), what will happen?" Literally trace that forward to the next day. Most of us can fill in the blanks with (all or mostly) bad stuff! So, this is one way to logically be pre-emptive if that's something you will try.

Another VERY good strategy is two fold - 1) I'm solidly in the camp of NOT GOING to things, places or events that are big on drinking (like maybe a lake on Memorial Day wkd), especially so early in sobriety....but

2) if you DO choose to go (and CHOOSE is an important word, to me- I do not believe I have to do one single thing that might jeopardize my literal (early on) or emotional (now, at 27 mo) sobriety) is have both a STRATEGY and an EXIT PLAN. So, take a bottle of water with (or bring a stash of diet coke or whatever non alcohoic bev you like!), focus on the people and activity that you can enjoy sober (and remember having fun with, if you were like me and definitely had holes in my memory by the end)...and leave the minute you start feeling squirrelly - especially if you've got a friend/partner/spouse to be with you and know the plan.

You can stay sober - it's really early so that might mean reluctantly choosing "to miss out" on "fun." I was very cautious about this- I didn't do an out of town (beach) trip till 90 days, with my parents - my first out of town trip with my now husband was at almost 9 mo- my first party was at 14 mo, first wedding at 17 mo....

Best to you for good choices and a nice weekend! Let us know how it goes. You can do this.

MantaLady

I try some of the following:

Go for a walk round the block or a longer walk, it's good to get the blood pumping and the happy endorphines triggered
Cook something - Default has been pancakes with sliced banana's, drizzled with honey and grated dark chocolate (not good for the waistline but who cares haha)
Read some chapters of a book
Put on some happy music and sing and prance round like a loon, I soon find the wave of craving passes before I realise it
Tidy or clean something
Call someone, I don't tell them why and just ask "how is your day going" and by the end of the call (even if it's only 5 minutes) again the urge has passed
Play with the cat, he likes the attention too
Look through my recipie books and pick something to cook for my evening meal or tomorrow that I wouldn't normally have (usually too lazy and would just order a take out)
Keep close to SR, read, post and engage. Sometime hearing others stories helps me to keep strong
Pamper myself, have a bath or shower, moisturise and generally show myself a bit of care
Meditate, not very good at it to be honest but I put on a calming song (I have some buddist chanting stuff that is really good), get the headphones on and try to just listen for 15 minutes or so.

Those are my go to stuff when I am feeling the urge, hope it helps give you some ideas x

Renvate

just picturing the state ill be in is enough to not drink.

BrandNewDay11

Lori, it's extremely important to have a plan in place ahead of time for how you will deal with the urges when they come. One thing I learned to do from this forum is "Urge Surfing". I'll provide the link that explains that for you.

The other thing is to make a list of alternate activities you can do if and when you find yourself thinking about drinking. A book that was really helpful in developing a "sober plan" is called "The 30 Day Sobriety Solution". I highly recommend it, but without any attempt at moderation (I held onto that idea for way too long). For now you can make a list of activities you can do when you feel that craving come on. Some examples are: go for a walk, make a smoothie, read (blank) number of posts on this forum and respond to at least (whatever number you choose), chew gum, play a game on the computer or ipad, cook, go to the bookstore, etc.

Also, a very powerful tool is to make a commitment here that if you really are feeling you're going to drink, come here first an "ask for permission". This means making a new thread stating you are about to drink, with the caveat that you MUST wait for the responses.

Hope this helps, you can do this! Here's the link to the urge surfing thread: https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...e-surfing.html (Urge Surfing)

Gottalife

That’s a really sane reason for not taking the fatal first drink. But, like the idea of playing the tape through, it never worked for me.

If fit the description of the alcoholic in the AA big book. At certain times I was without any effective mental defense against the first drink. I could follow a few suggestions like not putting myself in risky situations, but the time always came when my defences were down. “Neither I not any human power could provide such a defence. It had to come from a higher power.”

I cannot overstate the fact that I never saw my next drink coming. There was no warning, no craving, I just began drinking and around about the third drink I would suddenly realise what had happened. By then the phenomenon of craving was in charge, and all control was gone.

It has to be a good sign if you can pick up a warning signal. It happens here sometimes, where someone posts about feeling like drinking. They almost never drink. But an alcoholic of my type, when the obsession returns, almost never posts/calls for help. Why would we? We are already convinced that this time will be different, so much so that all defences are disregarded or inoperable.

For me the only hope was to have a complete psychic change, a change in my reaction to life, so that drinking just wasn’t part of the picture anymore. Aa was my vehicle for that, and it led me to a 24/7 totally reliable defence against the fatal first drink.

Lorij13099

I think my biggest is issue is the thinking of " oh just one more day and then I'll quit" I know now that isn't the solution. All of your advice has been amazing!

MantaLady

“Success is not obtained overnight. It comes in installments; you get a little bit today, a little bit tomorrow until the whole package is given out. The day you procrastinate, you lose that day's success.”
― Israelmore Ayivor

Forward12

This is a common AV excuse of "I'll just drink this one last time, and quit for good tomorrow" which ends up with "tomorrow" never happening.
A better mindset to have is "I'm not drinking today. I'm not sure about tomorrow, but just for today, I will not drink. No matter what"
Then repeat daily.

Lorij13099

This is the same advice my therapist gave me take it one day at a time, even sometimes one hour or one minute.

Distorted Me

I'm finding some success with more of a "big picture" strategy in changing my thinking overall about alcohol. First, I'm certain that if I believe that by getting sober I'm losing something or missing out on something, I've already lost. I have to truly understand that I'm not losing anything but gaining everything. This will kill a lot of urges to drink right away.

The next part is reminding myself how disgusting alcohol really is. I mean, it really is isn't it? Remember how disgusting it was when you first started drinking or when you were a kid and would sneak a drink of dad's beer or mom's wine? It was pretty nasty. But, as good alcoholics, we became professionals at drinking and nothing was that awful anymore. I try to picture a beer or a glass of wine and then immediately associate it with that sick feeling in my stomach when I'd first wake up after a night of partying way too much (you know what I'm talking about). Same with liquor. Imagining the smell of those while doing this trick really makes it effective. And I think the longer I can stay sober without relapse, the more that alcohol will actually be gross to me. It might sound far-fetched but its a neat little mind trick and its actually working for me. Honestly I still crave booze a little but I get a little sick to the stomach thinking about it now.

I know it's not going to make me bullet proof but I definitely need something like this because I so loved to drink by myself. Not that I'm not social, I just don't need to be to indulge in the drink. But ultimately, if we alcoholics really want to stay sober long-term we have to get it through our thick heads that we are not losing a damn thing by giving up alcohol but getting everything back. When you watch others drink up, don't feel left out, feel great pride in doing what you're doing and how you're choosing your own path.

I have to think like this everyday because it's so friggin' easy to jump in my car and drive to the liquor store. Too easy.

LivinInLV

Thank you Lorij13099 for posting.

I have been invited to one of those Paint & Wine deals and I was trying to figure out how to go and not drink but still have fun. I have been asked to go with these co-workers to attend events and always backed out due to work or going out of town.
If not for your post I would not know how to handle this event. A lot of good advice. I will pick what will work and apply.
Congrats on 5 days.

Bullwinkle1944

Lorij13099 writes>>>When you have the urge to drink, what do you do instead. <<<

I don't feel the urge any more, haven't for going on 4 decades, but when I did, I called someone any one even a non-alcoholic or I attended an AA meeting and listened to others, then shared about it or not shared. In those days, I ate some sugar, honey, chocolate. Protein for some works also, Alcohol internally turns to sugar, thus it's not uncommon when the urge comes back that it a sugar craving that can be confused by the body as an alcohol craving. BTW, the human body makes alcohol.

A well known AA member at a speaker meeting shared how he was called by another AA member that had the urge to drink. Just as the member with the urge to drink ended his call he said, "now that I've been talking to you, the urge has gone and just about every time I call you, I get the answer for my problems". The speaker said, "I didn't say a word during the entire call".

Chase01

Distorted Me-" remind myself how disgusting alcohol is." Love this. It is poison. We use it to clean and sterilize things. We put it in our gas tanks. Found this in another thread (already forget which one): alcohol=toxic, drunk=inTOXICated Whoa, no wonder it makes us so sick.

Forward12

It sounds like you've got a great therapist on your side!
Attending daily AA meetings will also be a great help.

Porcetta

Think of the end result in the equation

NoBones

When those urges hit, I always remind myself that all I need to do is distract myself for about fifteen minutes. That's how long the peak of my urges last. Sometimes I get them about 15 or 20 times per day which sucks, but when they come, I just concentrate on getting through the next fifteen minutes.

Lorij13099

Felt the urge read these posts !!! Went for a run. Stayed sober !! Thanks everyone !!

Rar

Glad you made it Lori. . I loved the thread and am going to read it all again. Lots of superb tips!