Perhaps this may help.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 322
Perhaps this may help.
Hi everybody.
Some insight from my side to those that are thinking about drinking tonight.
Ask yourself -
Am I a resilient person? if so then GOOD!
Do I WANT to be resilient? - if so, then you're on the road already - no one said it will be easy.
Iam NOT resilient - Then, unfortunately, you have sealed your night.
Ask yourself these questions and that feeling you get, that burst of emotion in your chest is the true reaction to what you want to be, and you will make your choice from their on.
I am just shaking off the dust left by the BIGGEST craving as to date. This one was the daddy of them all, the one that tells you nothing will go right in life and you're a worthless piece of ****. And you are a constant failure so you might as well just go buy those bottles and chug away to make you feel better, just for tonight. ( actually, this is the MAIN reason for all my drinking)
another example of the craving? - i feel like I am trapped inside my own home, the walls are closing in and unfortunately inside my head.
Nothing is relaxing me these last 25 days - but am getting used to being on a constant edge. I would go exercise but I've smashed my body this week it needs a break, so i NEED to learn another way.
So today is DOING night.
My life is so backlogged atm due to my alcoholic mind, I've let so much backup that I will be literally sifting through the paperwork most of the night. I will be making new advertisements for the small business that I run that brings me income( i have no idea HOW i managed to run it with my drinking in the past)
This is planning for the future.
Tomorrow i have to meet with a client in regards to a project at 8am.
of course, my alcoholic mind already imagined binge drinking tonight and postponing the meeting till the afternoon ( like every other time)
So much would be lost. All for a pitiful "woe is me" drinking night.
But since tonight is doing night, Its time to prepare for tomorrow and the week ahead, that binge is not gonna happen.
So I've made a list on why i should not drink tonight, and I recommend whoever is in the same position to do the same.
- Back to square one.
- All 25 days of hard work and stress wasted
- All exercise goals - wasted.
- All promises and pep talks - wasted
- Opportunity with my client - wasted
- All visions of a new life - wasted
- I'll just be back in the hole that I huffed and puffed so much about.
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT
- Ill just let me down again, Life is not a picnic its always a wave and I have always been resilient no matter how I felt.
Some insight from my side to those that are thinking about drinking tonight.
Ask yourself -
Am I a resilient person? if so then GOOD!
Do I WANT to be resilient? - if so, then you're on the road already - no one said it will be easy.
Iam NOT resilient - Then, unfortunately, you have sealed your night.
Ask yourself these questions and that feeling you get, that burst of emotion in your chest is the true reaction to what you want to be, and you will make your choice from their on.
I am just shaking off the dust left by the BIGGEST craving as to date. This one was the daddy of them all, the one that tells you nothing will go right in life and you're a worthless piece of ****. And you are a constant failure so you might as well just go buy those bottles and chug away to make you feel better, just for tonight. ( actually, this is the MAIN reason for all my drinking)
another example of the craving? - i feel like I am trapped inside my own home, the walls are closing in and unfortunately inside my head.
Nothing is relaxing me these last 25 days - but am getting used to being on a constant edge. I would go exercise but I've smashed my body this week it needs a break, so i NEED to learn another way.
So today is DOING night.
My life is so backlogged atm due to my alcoholic mind, I've let so much backup that I will be literally sifting through the paperwork most of the night. I will be making new advertisements for the small business that I run that brings me income( i have no idea HOW i managed to run it with my drinking in the past)
This is planning for the future.
Tomorrow i have to meet with a client in regards to a project at 8am.
of course, my alcoholic mind already imagined binge drinking tonight and postponing the meeting till the afternoon ( like every other time)
So much would be lost. All for a pitiful "woe is me" drinking night.
But since tonight is doing night, Its time to prepare for tomorrow and the week ahead, that binge is not gonna happen.
So I've made a list on why i should not drink tonight, and I recommend whoever is in the same position to do the same.
- Back to square one.
- All 25 days of hard work and stress wasted
- All exercise goals - wasted.
- All promises and pep talks - wasted
- Opportunity with my client - wasted
- All visions of a new life - wasted
- I'll just be back in the hole that I huffed and puffed so much about.
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT
- Ill just let me down again, Life is not a picnic its always a wave and I have always been resilient no matter how I felt.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Lots of thoughts there!
Two things that I'd observe from my own experience - and 9-10 mo was definitely a time I felt a jump forward like it sounds you are-
1 Resilience can be a significant and positive tool in recovery- but acceptance trumps it every single time. That's the core of the decision not to drink, tonight.
2 Future tripping, even to tomorrow, is something I still have to consciously practice sometimes, at 27 mo now. I remember my first sponsor and I having this conversation: (on the phone, 815 am)
Her: "So what are you doing next?"
Me: "Well, I work at 4 then tomorrow, I am off and I get to see [my now husband]. This weekend- "
Her (interrupting): "No. What are you doing NEXT?"
Me (after pausing): "Um, finishing our conversation and my coffee? Then taking a bath."
Her: "There you go. THAT's how incremental you need to view things, a lot of the time at this point [5 mo sober] particularly in these early days."
Still a valuable tool when I start getting ahead of myself.
Keep going- I've found I keep getting new insights to how to live in recovery- and also need to revisit ones I learned earlier, as needed!
Two things that I'd observe from my own experience - and 9-10 mo was definitely a time I felt a jump forward like it sounds you are-
1 Resilience can be a significant and positive tool in recovery- but acceptance trumps it every single time. That's the core of the decision not to drink, tonight.
2 Future tripping, even to tomorrow, is something I still have to consciously practice sometimes, at 27 mo now. I remember my first sponsor and I having this conversation: (on the phone, 815 am)
Her: "So what are you doing next?"
Me: "Well, I work at 4 then tomorrow, I am off and I get to see [my now husband]. This weekend- "
Her (interrupting): "No. What are you doing NEXT?"
Me (after pausing): "Um, finishing our conversation and my coffee? Then taking a bath."
Her: "There you go. THAT's how incremental you need to view things, a lot of the time at this point [5 mo sober] particularly in these early days."
Still a valuable tool when I start getting ahead of myself.
Keep going- I've found I keep getting new insights to how to live in recovery- and also need to revisit ones I learned earlier, as needed!
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