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-   -   11 months and I've messed up! (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/427922-11-months-ive-messed-up.html)

Chilledice 05-21-2018 02:10 PM

11 months and I've messed up!
 
Just a few weeks from a whole year and I drank today! Sorry guys , I messed up! Sobriety right down the drain!

lessgravity 05-21-2018 02:14 PM

Can you throw the rest away and stop the flood?

What did you drink and why?

Chilledice 05-21-2018 02:16 PM


Originally Posted by lessgravity (Post 6903102)
Can you throw the rest away and stop the flood?

What did you drink and why?

I drank it all , not even sure as to why I done it. Maybe tomorrow when my head is clear I'll understand.

lessgravity 05-21-2018 02:24 PM

It's a shame you didn't post here first - as I see you did before when the cravings hit.

But I don't see all that time sober as a loss at all. I'm sure you learned so much and I'm sure you can get back to putting the bottle away with that knowledge and sober muscle.

ScottFromWI 05-21-2018 02:29 PM


Originally Posted by Chilledice (Post 6903105)
not even sure as to why I done it. Maybe tomorrow when my head is clear I'll understand.

My guess is that you did it because you stopped posting here for almost a month and a half...you were doing much better when you were active on the forum. Glad you came back though, when your head clears maybe you can re-define your plan and figure out why you stopped following the one you had?

Rar 05-21-2018 02:29 PM

I'm sorry you drank Chilledice! You don't need us to tell you how amazing your sober time was. So, you know how to do it and what it takes! Dust yourself off and tomorrow figure out what went wrong. It's good that you came back. :grouphug:

Chilledice 05-21-2018 02:42 PM


Originally Posted by ScottFromWI (Post 6903118)
My guess is that you did it because you stopped posting here for almost a month and a half...you were doing much better when you were active on the forum. Glad you came back though, when your head clears maybe you can re-define your plan and figure out why you stopped following the one you had?

I isolated myself into my depression , ahhh man tomorrow is a new day! Gonna get some water down me.

Hevyn 05-21-2018 02:43 PM

It's not down the drain, chilled - you learned something valuable. It just does nothing for us anymore. I'm glad you posted.

Dustitoffman 05-21-2018 02:45 PM

You have achieved 11 months of sobriety.

I will say that there is nothing messed up about that.

The important thing as they say is to get straight back in the saddle.
Throw away the booze and get cracking!

Don't waste time on could of would of and should of. Damage limitation move on👍

Stronger2017 05-21-2018 02:48 PM

I’m really sorry chilled. As you said, sleep it off and then reassess tomorrow. For me, I was able to go a few weeks after my initial relapse and then the drinking crept back in.

Sorry I can’t write more but I have to go. Oh, I’d keep posting too. Don’t drop off the boards. That’s probably bad.

Chilledice 05-21-2018 03:05 PM


Originally Posted by Hevyn (Post 6903133)
It's not down the drain, chilled - you learned something valuable. It just does nothing for us anymore. I'm glad you posted.

I've rather enjoyed being clear headed and sober! ....I don't like this feeling of being intoxicated , makes me feel like I'm not 100 percent in control!

DangerZone 05-21-2018 03:13 PM

What's good is that you came right back here. If you went on a week-long bender I'd be much more concerned. This isn't to downplay the relapse but you can look at this as a reconfirmation that you don't like alcohol. Because you clearly don't. If you came back here saying how great it is to be drunk again it'd be one thing. Just read your posts in this thread. Based on your posts I don't see you getting much enjoyment out of drinking

So get right back at to being sober man... That's the life you deserve and I know it's the life you want.

Also, keep posting here. We got your back.

BDTL 05-21-2018 03:17 PM

I messed up the better part of 67 years so don't fret. Get back sober again and fight the good battle. Be proud of yourself for the long sobriety and be determine to stay with it this time around.

rjyerkes 05-21-2018 03:39 PM

We're all here for the same reason Chilledice. Cause it's a daily battle that we sometimes do not win. We understand.

Focus on the war rather than this one battle. With 11 months sober, you're winning the war. Chalk this one up to an ill-prepared or vulnerable moment and look forward.

Keep on fighting the good fight Chilledice. We're right here with you :)

timm84 05-21-2018 03:43 PM

I have a friend who is just starting to try getting sober. I can't talk as I don't even have 2 months myself but he gave up after just a few weeks. He has been very down on himself since. I try to tell him that beating yourself up is only going to make things worse and you'll be more likely to drink. Remember that you deserve to live and be healthy.

Dee74 05-21-2018 04:31 PM

Welcome back :)

I'm sorry you drank chilledice, but everything's not 'down the drain' - unless you abandon it to be.

you've learned and accomplished a lot in those 11 months I bet.

Now's a great time to take all that knowledge you've acquired and use it to reinforce your recovery action plan.

If you don't really have one, nows a really good time to get one :)

D

SoberLeigh 05-21-2018 05:09 PM

I am so sorry to hear that you drank, chilled.

I hope that you make tomorrow Day 1.

Onward, together, so please stay very c.ose to us.

iwilltryagain 05-21-2018 05:18 PM

Chilledice - I have been there and done that. You have to stop. Otherwise it's slippery slope....our mind plays tricks with us....Never take any day for granted. Watch for triggers and be vigilant...Hope tomorrow will be fresh day!

CreativeThinker 05-21-2018 06:26 PM

Hey Chill,

Sorry to hear you slipped man. Trust me, I know exactly how you feel as the last time I relapsed I did so after 11 months. Please get right back at it tomorrow and don't do what I did by falling right back into the rabbit hole. It really sucks, I know....but....you haven't lost everything and more importantly, you have a lot of support here (unlike I did back when I relapsed).

Hugs,
CT

Buckley3 05-21-2018 06:49 PM


Originally Posted by Chilledice (Post 6903098)
Just a few weeks from a whole year and I drank today! Sorry guys , I messed up! Sobriety right down the drain!

Well, as long as you stop now it's just a slip, not a full blown relapse that could very well turn into more years wasted. The sobriety you clocked is yours, no one can take it. What you do tomorrow will determine if it's gone or not.

Sounds to me like a classic case of self-sabotage. I doubt it's coincidence that it happened just a few weeks before your 1 year anniversary.

Get back on the wagon. Plenty of space. The air is still pretty fresh.

Might consider looking at your plan, or making one. Get a sponsor or something... someone in your 3d life that you can talk to about this. Preferrably someone you can talk to proactively next time...when you see the signs.

A very wise fellow told me it's very rare that a drunk just "oops" I drank. Usually there's a whole series of events and signs along the way.... we drove past the old liquor store once or twice the week before the slip... we were thinking a lot about an important event, anniversary, etc. and felt some pangs of self pity or self entitlement... we had a vivid dream about drinking... etc. etc. There's usually a path with about a bazillion places that we can stand up and say NOPE. Might be important to talk with someone about it. Worst thing we can do is bs ourselves into thinking we have to do it alone. That's just the AV carving us away from the pack...

Best-

B


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