lojoe

I have posted a few times here and I am very thankful for the responses and grateful for this group. To be honest, I know I have some problems, even though most times I dont think I qualify as a real alcoholic. Basically my story with alcohol looks tricky to diagnose, so who knows. There had been times when I drank socially, sometimes it would go too far, other times not. Sometimes I didnt drink because I had other drugs. Othwr times I would sneak drinks behind my wife's back, usually late at night. I drank vodka out of the bottle and replaced the missing vodka with water so that it looked like nothing was gone, I hid my own stuff in the house (such as vodka or whiskey like wild turkey), drank while using other drugs (usually to "get me going"), mixing alcohol with an antipsychotic I urinated in my house - not in the toilet - not realizing what I was doing, went to bars (usually strip clubs - I am not proud) and drank alone. I suppose I am an alcoholic but its hard to tell. I live in wisconsin.

Carlotta

Hi Joe

I am glad that you are finding SR helpful
Well, I am not sure how they do things in Wisconsin but I would bet than even there peeing on the floor, lying about your alcohol intake, mixing alcohol with other drugs and sneaking booze behind your spouse's back is an indicator of a serious alcohol problem

Seriously, whether you are an alcoholic or a heavy drinker it seems that alcohol is starting to create some problems in your life and therefore it would make sense to quit before it gets worst. Don't you agree?

Verdantia

Hey, lojoe. I'm not qualified to say whether or not you're an alcoholic but it certainly sounds as if booze is a problem for you; the behavior you describe is not that of a social drinker. It's best just to ditch it because one thing I am qualified to say is that things will only get worse the longer you drink/drug.
Wishing you all the best.

Chase01

Lojoe, the answer to the question of whether or not you are a 'real' alcoholic doesn't matter. The question is do you truly want to stop drinking/ drugging? If you answer yes to this question nothing else matters. Post and read here. Find an AA or SMART meeting. Talk with a doctor or counselor. There are many options. Just take the first step. You can always find support here.

entropy1964

Basically my story with alcohol looks tricky to diagnose

I did all the same things you have done, except for pee in any place that wasn't a toilet....in the house at least. My diagnosis isn't tricky. Its alcoholism or addiction. Whichever.

so who knows.

I think you do. Glad you're here.

FreeOwl

Doesn’t seem all that tricky to me at all.

I did most of those things, too.

In fact more than once I got up in the night and pooped in a drawer....

And STILL didn’t accept I was an alcoholic.

Well..... over four years ago I embraced sobriety instead.

Life’s been better and better and better and better.

Wasn’t all that tricky after all.

ChloeRose63

Glad you found us, lojoe!
You will get lots of love and support here at SR!

Dee74

Good to see you again lojoe

I'm not going to tell you you're probably not an alcoholic

I suspect you belong here with the rest of us - no matter what you 'are' it sounds like your life is massively betteroff without alcohol

Distorted Me

lojoe you sound so much like me for the most part. Don't get hung up on labels. If you're sneaking around to drink, you are hiding it for a reason. Don't let the confusion on the definition of anything delay your recovery. I really feel like you're headed the same direction I was. I wasted so much time and I really regret that.

tomsteve

thats a BS lie.
you have a problem with alcohol. period.
doesnt matter if youre a real alcoholic, alcoholic, problem drinker, alcohol use disorder, or whatever.
you have a problem with alcohol. period.

in 2013:
-I want to know if anyone has ever had a problem with ephedrine. I have found myself taking 15-20 pills at a time for the mood change and energy boost.
-I do this a couple of times per day and I have to go to many different pharmacies to support this behavior.
-I have also had problems with habitual marijuana use,
-That is sort of what I was thinking but my denial was producing all sorts of rationalizations for me
- I think if I did have access to harder drugs it would be a major problem.
-I guess I am a stimulant addict.
-though I do feel like I've hit an emotional/spiritual rock bottom (apparently not then,eh?)
still in 2013:
-usually late at night, drank vodka out of the bottle and replaced the missing vodka with water so that it looked like nothing was gone

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

now youre here complicating it STILL- 5 years later.

NEITHER alcoholism or addiction has ANYTHING to do with quantity or frequency.

i know a man that had 6 blackouts his entire drinking career. a glass of wine at dinner and tipsy a handful of times over the years.
and yet,same exact thinking as mine.

tomsteve

same thing happens in michigan,colorado,london,scottland,ireland........ ...

Stronger2017

I did some of the things you mentioned (including peeing myself) and I definitely have a problem with alcohol. I now have eight months sober and SR has played a big part in my recovery. I read a fair bit and post when I can. Best of luck loejoe!

lojoe

Thanks for putting up with me. I am an idiot. I wont post anymore about my dumb **** or denial or whatever my defective brain says.

Chase01

Lojoe, come here and post anything you feel the need to. Just be ready to hear the truth. You are surrounded by hundreds or more likely thousands of people who have been there, done that, thought that. That is the true beauty of SR and places like AA. We can relate in a way no one else can. You will get 100% support here, but it may include some harsh truths, that we probably don't want to hear, but absolutely need to hear.

Please keep coming back.

ScottFromWI

We've all done things we regret while we were drinking Lojoe, and even some pretty despicable/illegal/immoral ones. Not saying that it makes it OK, but you are amongst those who understand.

Do you agree that alcohol is causing a lot of problems for you? If so it really doesn't matter what you call it. Do you think that quitting would be the best solution?

Berrybean

Please DO post it. I needed to post it so that others could point out the insanity of my thinking and I could resist listening to that trickstie AV of mine. Post, post and post. We're all a lot better at recognising other peoples AV and rationalisations than we are our own. That's why recovery fellowships work so well. We can help each other stay sober.

Plus, when you post your thoughts it reminds us of exactly where we came from on this journey and helps keep up our resolve to stay sober.

Our addictions are cunning and baffling, but together we can beat them.

Keep posting.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.

BB

Rar

Keep posting lojoe. We are stronger together.

Dee74

SR is about posting whatever is on your mind lojoe - noones 'putting up with
you' - you're part of the SR family now

D