Day 70, and life feels fast, yet I'm stuck. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 05-17-2018, 10:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Day 70, and life feels fast, yet I'm stuck.


I'm feeling better at a couple months sober, but some bad habits haven't dissipated, so I feel like there isn't time for anything. I run around and work, then run and lift weights even if I'm exhausted. I feel like drinking if I don't, so rest days are tough for my brain, and I still get physical cravings.

I'm also getting more social, so everything feels normal apart from the drinking. I feel like I can almost 'accidentally' drink, but I've gone into those scenarios with a strict and simple policy not to imbibe. I know my AV well, but it's tricky.

As a single guy (not soliciting myself obv. lol), girls are popping out of nowhere, and this is trouble. They always ask if I want to grab a beer! Do you realize how tough this is? Do you think my AV summoned people to... nah; that's crazy talk... But I haven't been attracting anyone for a while. Maybe it was written on my face {Drunk Dude**.

I just get a lot more social when I'm sober, and for some reason, my confidence jumps up. I feel like I'm always doing something, which is great, but I'm really tired and need more sleep.

I feel like time is moving really quickly, and maybe I'm doing too much? it's like I'm making up for lost time.

I'm not sure exactly what my point is... Trying to learn how to live sober. Been out a few times with drinkers and it's really weird to see someone drink one beer for an hour. Why would I want to do that? So I've decided not to do it anymore, but life feels like it's shrinking.

Does anyone know what I'm talking about? lol. Sorry if that made no sense, but there are times I feel rushed, yet, stuck.. trying to break patterns I think, but frustrating when I'm not meeting goals regularly.
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Old 05-18-2018, 01:05 AM   #2 (permalink)
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SoberSolstice. I would be willing to bet that there might be only 10 or 20 Thousand people on here that know exactly what you're talking about.

When we attempt to improve ourselves and escape many detrimental situations, I believe we attach a certain sense of urgency to the matter. We may not even realize we are doing. It's part of our immediate gratification thing and us alcoholics and addicts are notorious for it. It's the very reason we drink/use...without regard for the consequences. We want to cop a buzz and feel good....NOW !!!

Along the same lines when we stop drinking we want to be over the discomfort...NOW !...never to desire alcohol or drugs again, ever !

When we start a diet to lose weight and improve ourselves, we want to begin the diet today and wake tomorrow morning 15# lighter!

Needless to say, in both cases, it just doesnt work that way. Hense all the catchy slogans and phrases made popular by AA and other organizations.
"Easy Does it"..."One Day at a Time"..."Strive for progress, not perfection", "The Miracle will happen it is own good time" etc...

As another aside, Sobriety/Recovery and gardening will teach patience, if we are willing to learn from it.

Hope this helps.

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Old 05-18-2018, 01:34 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Sounds like my situation EXACTLY. But iam 19 days in

The running around, the weights, the single life, more socialising , watching ppl drink a beer for an hour (who does that?) And the no to beer on a date (very frustrating).

I pinpointed it down to the fact that you and I and others here cant numb ourselves anymore at the end of a day, and I think that's only reason for the constant feeling of being edgy and hyperactivity (for me anyway)

7pm sharp used to be numbing time on the dot. But now iam ready to ride to the gym because I need to call down.

Coffee also could be a contributer.
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Old 05-18-2018, 04:26 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Same here. In early days, I just decided to not give too much though, make each day an unstructured To-Do List of various, easy to accomlish stuff that has to be done anyways and cross it of, while staying "activated". It left me a lot of days with the feeling "I just can't keep up" .... "Screw it, i don't do important things" .... "Screw it I jump from one **** to another without seeing final results".

But the point was, at that phase I was not able to work things structured and keep a ToDO - Life (Leisure Time, Calming down) balance anyways. So, I just worked on "stuff" as I felt like, didn't think about it. Weeks later, after I calmed down, my PAWS diminished, I looked at it and realized: Yes, I have accomplished quite a bit, even when it was small stuff and done the chaotic way. And that helped me to take the next step of "cleaning my life up"
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Old 05-18-2018, 05:15 AM   #5 (permalink)
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For me it just took a little while to get comfortable with myself and the world sober. I love both now.
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Old 05-18-2018, 06:37 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I thought drastic changes in all avenues of my life that were potentially detrimental needed to be made to continue my sobriety. I get frustrated when I can't change something I feel I should be able to change.

Maybe I'm doing things slower than other people, and just need to move faster so I can have time to sleep more than a few hours.

I'm having a hard time eating fast. I need the calories, but eating 3000 cal in a busy day takes a lot of time for me.

Whatever... I'm not complaining; just want to figure out a sober life that still involves social outings.

I've relapsed so many times you're probs thinking "he'll fall off again", but I'm trying not to...
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Old 05-18-2018, 06:40 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sobersolstice View Post
I thought drastic changes in all avenues of my life that were potentially detrimental needed to be made to continue my sobriety. I get frustrated when I can't change something I feel I should be able to change.

Maybe I'm doing things slower than other people, and just need to move faster so I can have time to sleep more than a few hours.

I'm having a hard time eating fast. I need the calories, but eating 3000 cal in a busy day takes a lot of time for me.

Whatever... I'm not complaining; just want to figure out a sober life that still involves social outings.

I've relapsed so many times you're probs thinking "he'll fall off again", but I'm trying not to...
Well for me I know there won't be anymore weightlifting goals if I drink.

I can throw they out the window automatically.

Sounds like you don't really have a reason to go back to drinking, is it worth throwimg away 70 days?
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Old 05-18-2018, 06:45 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Just to add.

The best thing we have is an endless and I mean ENDLESS amount of goals to choose from in any point of our lives. It's these goals the drive us to get out of bed every morning and steam ahead. What's better is that these goals are much more rewarding and obtainable once alcohol has been removed. I know I have early days, but I strongly believe in setting goals to keep ones fire and drive Alive.

Perhaps it's time for some new goals?
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Old 05-18-2018, 07:49 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I think I'm trying to make too many drastic changes at once, and it's stressing me out. It feels like one small failure after another.

Meanwhile, I'm eating better, working hard, getting out, meeting new people. I'm just feeling really sensitive to everything.

Sorry if my problems sound trivial, but I'm at a point where I don't know myself very well at the moment.
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Old 05-18-2018, 08:04 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Around the 70 day mark was the hardest time for me. 2-4 months was the worst. I had two emotional states, apathy and anger. Anything would set me off. The only thing I could do is keep my head down and not pick up.
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