Cuckoo

I just wanted to share this little story...
Nearly ten years ago when my daughter was seven years old I was a very heavy, totally addicted 20+ a day cig smoker. The type of smoker that would be crouched in the garden under a brolly in a thunderstorm rather than go with out my 'fix'.
I never, ever smoked indoors around my daughter but of course that doesnt mean she didnt notice. School started teaching the kids about the dangers of smoking etc. and she would start telling me off and telling me how bad smoking is for you and that you can get horrible ilnesses and die. I am sure we have all heard this from our children in one form or another.
Anyway one school morning I was having my usual cig in the garden and she was in the kitchen with her dad. I could see the top if her little blonde head bobbing about as she moved around and chatted with her dad through the window. I could only see the top of her head as she was too little to see above the window sill.
Well, all of a sudden it was like I was watching the scene how it would be if I just 'wasnt there' any more. Just the two of them doing the same morning routine but without me 😦 It absolutely froze me to the spot and I felt like I couldnt breath, the thought of it was just too much to bear.
I packed up the fags completely to be there for her and havent had one since. The power of parent/child love is breathtaking.

So.....why can I now not apply that to alcohol ? There isnt a day goes by that I dont replay that kitchen scene in my head but here I am ten years on with a different addiction.
I keep coming back to SR.
I need to formulate a solid plan this time. I cannot continue like this.

Thanks for reading my little story.
C

brighterday1234

Alcoholism often requires a different solution to just self-knowledge. A solution is available in the program of AA for example. If you’re an alcoholic it is likely that consequences will not keep you sober; if they did you’d probably just be miserable anyway.

gettingsmarter

You need to make the commitment in your inner most being that that alcohol is no longer an option. Drinking is just no longer there for you to choose.

I tried to quit 1000 times. It was different this last time because I knew that it was a real promise and not one of those fake AV promises.

The world becomes a better place when us drunks quit.

You really can quit.

lessgravity

Sounds like you accepted that you couldn't smoke and live the life that you wanted to, for yourself and your family.

The same realization needs to happen for you with booze. It took many of us, including myself, too long to finally reach that place of acceptance.

Hope you can do so before you lose what it most valuable in your life.

decchemist

Cuckoo

Did you read the book I recommended to you? The Naked Mind. It fits well with this new thread of yours.

Cosima11

Well, I have a reverse set of problems.. Going strong with the drinking but umm can't seem to quit smoking, despite grandiose claims and talking about it in circles here and irl. Seriously demoralizing.

I sometimes wonder if some sort of serious wake up call will be required to get me to quit smoking as was the case with drinking.. But then I think no, that can't be right. How did you do it when you quit the cigarettes? What mental techniques did you use? They are different because drinking impacts your life and your behaviors on a much larger, readily apparent scale, so larger structural changes are required.. But the underlying issues are the same.

Identify the obstacles and start applying the solutions.. For me it's a combination of a. further lifestyle changes I need to make in order to remove myself from certain toxic environments and b. further willingness to confront my emotions and challenges that arise directly without side stepping them. Just don't lose hope, if you can quit smoking you can quit drinking and vice versa.

Rar

I read it and I agree, Cuckoo - it fits well with this thread.