trachemys

MidnightBlue

And....sorry, Trach.

I've grossly overslept today))

Edit: thank you for the song!

MidnightBlue

About 3 weeks ago I had a moment when I thought i passed through the event horizon of feeling fundamentally flawed.

I felt "Wow". How incredibly great it feels to communicate with the world as an equal partner, not a constant pleaser because I feel the constant need to earn my right to belong here. Like I am such a reproach to the world that I need to buy my way to be accepted.

Now this feeling is back. And it makes me feel miserable.

petals

Aw hugs to you Mb xxx
I went to bed last night and was wondering where you all were... then woke up this morning and we are 5 pages in... gosh.
I'm working hard on trying to be happier and to stop mopsing....(thanks Trach)x
So much going on I'm getting a bit overwhelmed with it and just feel bleurgh
I'm a pet lover too so I know what you're going through.
Hugs to all xx

Zanna

I'm in for this weekend too - great escape from this non-stop wedding coverage

saoutchik

Morning everyone, good to see you petsls, Zanna.

MidnightBlue, you're more than an equal to anyone, you have no need to justify yourself. I meant to ask before, what is it that your CEO's daughter actually does?

MidnightBlue

Sao, she runs her own blog and spends the summer at their seaside house where I am going to spend next 3 weeks.

I feel like I will have no space to breathe.

Basically she can ask me do any errand she has on her mind.

Nice.

I know, "happens for me, not to me". I know "be grateful".

Doesn't work.

I am p****d with myself that I let relative comfort to lure me into the state of complacency, and I am not in a position to say "eff you".

MantaLady

Hey MB, I am frustrated for you! Have you had a look at any boxing clubs or anything similar that are close to the beach house? Or maybe something that you could book in in the evenings to get you out of the beach house and make it clear that you are not on tap for them 24/7? Even if it's a cooking class or dance class or something, anything to break up the day and get you engaging in something else to give your head a break. x

MidnightBlue

Thank you, MantaLady)

I've looked at some gyms around. And I am planning to do a lot of running to improve my cardio. And I am going to go for a long walks to do "thinking on feet" for my writing project.

I am not sure how it will pan out, but that's the plan.

MidnightBlue

Now I am going into total self-sabotage mode.

Something's wrong in my life. And I am missing it.

Dee74

Try not to panic MB - it may not be as bad as you fear - and even if it was it's for a finite period.

I have every confidence in your ability to adapt and cope with anything over a couple of weeks

D

MidnightBlue

Thank you, Dee.

I am trying.

Edit: My panic stems not from this particular situation per se, but realization that someone owns my time to this extent and I am still in no position to change it.

theVman31

MB kick that doubt into touch.
Who knows you may even become great friends with the girl over the few weeks....

I agree with D (again) you have more than proven your ability to adapt and survive

MidnightBlue

Thank you, guys, so much.

I wish a had a midget of that confidence you are having in me)

As for the friends with the girl.

I've had a pleasure of meeting her and assisting her on a couple of occasions already.

I am not going to be her friend...

On top of that yesterday the CEO's secretary brought me some stuff to take with me there and asked me to pack it because it's fragile.

So, today I started packing the stuff. Why, in the world, someone needs empty tea cans and a lot of other rubbish to be taken there is beyond my imagination.

And, I am sure as hell, upon arrival I will get a reprimand for not packaging it properly.

WTF.

Geeze. I feel so useless.

Apparently I don't have any valuable skills but to drag this nonsense around to the airport. And all this "necessities" put together are heavy as hell.

She even suggested that I put my stuff and this rubbish together to save space.

I told the secretary that I am not squeezing my belongings between this s**t and suggested they will pay for extra luggage. Surprisingly they agreed.

Sorry for usurping the thread with my venting but I've just completely lost it.

trachemys

Why feel useless over this? Think about it: they have to pay someone to put up with this duty.

Suggestion: Smother her. No, not with a pillow! Smother her with your presence until she insists you go do something else. Make her turn you loose.

STDragon

Vent away MB, we can take it. I was going to suggest that as soon as you arrive, set your boundaries, you 're going to need your own time. You don't want her trampling all over that. Seaside resort? sound like some fun potential there. Sound to me like you were chosen for this task becasue your trusted and liked. I know if could have an assistant for three weeks, I'd want someone that I think highly of.

BTW, are you staying in the same home or nearby hotel?

STDragon

Sorry, but they are still playing?

Dee74

MB


we've all had to do unpleasant jobs...but better jobs will come along

D

STDragon

Singer Mick Jagger, 74
Lead guitarist Keith Richards, 74
Drummer Charlie Watts, 74,
Guitarist Ronnie Wood, the baby of the group at a sprightly 70.

Steven Tyler, Paul McCartney, Elton John... they are all in their 70's....
https://www.rollingstone.com/music/p...er-70-20131022

MidnightBlue

Trach - How is that you always manage to make me smile? Thank you)

Dragon - I am staying at the same house. So, she is going to put up with me having 6 egg whites for breakfast))

I've bought myself a spy novel for $0.7 and going to imagine that I am an undercover spy on a mission. Not sure what my mission is, but I'll figure it out.

Damn, I am still p***d.