Adayinthelife

My story began with a pretty minor misstep while running that turned into a gruesome injury that would forever change my life. That was July of 2015. After months of not being able to walk or work. Months of sitting around putting on roughly 60 pounds to my already obese body I saw a surgeon who finally said he could help. He could help with the numbness, the swelling, the mobility issues and of course the pain. Up to that point I had been prescribed very little pain medication but that changes when you have a major surgery. And it definitely changes when you develop a serious infection that leads to a second surgery and a host of other problems. I spent the summer after those surgeries trying to recover physically and mentally. When a doctor brought up my increasing weight and the option of bariatric surgery it took all of 2 seconds for me to decide that that was what I was going to do. By August of 2017 I had had 4 more major surgeries. It started with bariatric surgery and led to complication after complication and ultimately a reversal of the entire procedure. I spent most of that time in and out of the hospital. I was in and out of different E.R.s in extreme pain. And I was high for most of it because narcotics were all they could do for me as my body had completely rejected the gastric bypass surgery. When the symptoms settled and my scars healed and I got my nutrition back on track it became obvious that all this led to... an addiction. I was in rehab by early October (Less then 3 weeks after my wedding). Rehab was not for me and I did not complete the program but I have remained 100% clean and out of the hospital fortunately. And I'm 90 pounds lighter.
But I've hit a speed bump.
Sometimes drugs, alcohol or any other addiction cloud our mind. And at times makes it impossible to see anything, much less any silver linings in our life. When I was using I found myself to be very impulsive. Perhaps to a fault. In that impulsivity I went out and adopted a dog on a whim. And it may have been that decision that changed it all for me. I can't say that it was Ginger who made me want to get clean, or who kept me clean. But what I can say is that when I was emotionally beat to a pulp, she was the one there, silently loving me. She had no words and that was exactly what I needed. She would come and lay next to my face when I would collapse on the floor in a fit of rage because I burnt my Mac and cheese. She would lick my tears when I would wake up screaming from the nightmares. And she was always in bed with me when I woke up in an empty house on days that all my family was at work. This dog was more than an impulse buy, she was the silver lining on the cloud that was my life. And as I fought the battle to where I am today, over 7 months sober, I realize that nothing good comes from an addiction. But good things can happen when addicted.
Ginger has been missing for over 24 hours now. She took off while I was at work yesterday and we can't find her anywhere. I'm having trouble conveying my need for this dog without being openly honest about my addiction. I spent the day looking and searching. But the fog that I used to need drugs to cover up is creeping back into my head. She walked me through it... She held my hand and let me scream and cry without batting an eye or moving an inch. And I, well I couldn't even keep her safe. I'm desperate to know what the next step is here. But I don't even know where that step should lead. Hope or grief?

Healthyandsober

Hope is always the best and only answer. you will find ginger. I know what it feels like to love a dog. I have two. They are my friends and my kids at the same time. I get you, it is difficult to convey to others this kind of unconditional love.

Don't relapse you will find your dog. Hold on to hope.

My best wishes for you and ginger Hold on to hope please.

Dee74

Hi ansd welcoem a dayion thelife
I'm really sorry Ginger is missing. I hope you find her soon.

I think everyone who quits ends up tested by something.

I know it feels like the pain and fear are immense and that it will destroy you unless you numb yourself - but thats just not true.

I've faced a lot of terrible things since I got sober and I've gotten through them all, sober with support.

Each of us is more capable than we know.

I've heard it said the best aim we can have have for ourselves is be who our dog thinks we are.

Be who Ginger thinks you are, man. Stay true.

D

Adayinthelife

Be who Ginger thinks you are, man. Stay true.

Well that hit it home. Thank you.

Rar

I hope you find Ginger. Have you checked the shelters, or even called the local veterinarians' offices? Does she have identification?

I agree, "Stay true and be who Ginger thinks you are".

Keep us posted.

myluckyday

Have you found Ginger yet??? I know what you mean by your special bond with your pup. I also have one with my dog. I'm sending up positive vibes to the universe that your dog will return to you!!! In the meantime, stay sober for her. She would want that for you.

entropy1964

If you are in the US try using Craigs list if you haven't already. That is what we do in our area and its awesome. You can check lost pets and also put up a post of your dog, your area, her pic etc. I'm assuming she had a collar. You might want to call a few local vets too, or the humane society, because people take pets in to see if they are micro chipped. If she isn't they may remember her and have gotten a name to contact if you contact them. Ask the police too.

biminiblue

Also, one of our SoberRecovery members here found her dog by putting up flyers, and someone called - it was many days after he went missing.

I had a dog who went missing for a month and he was returned to me after I placed an ad in the newspaper.

I hope Ginger comes home - she's probably safe and warm in someone's house.