janesober

Alcohol is so normalized in my family and friends circle, but in private I have had major issues with it. I just landed a new job in a career change I desperately wanted to make, and I want to begin it sober. I use alcohol to numb pain and the sudden loss of my mother, which continues to be intensely painful. But I know alcohol doesn't bring her back, and I'm killing myself with it. I have never posted here, but I have been reading SR for what I think is almost 7-8 years. My drinking has escalated drastically in that time, and now I feel like I'm in a very dangerous area. I need to change! Thank you, anyone, for reading. I wish everyone well here as we all are trying to change.

Anna

Welcome, Jane!

I used alcohol to self-medicate also. It seems to help very briefly, but of course, that's the hook. Then, things went out of control very quickly.

I hope you decide to stop drinking. Posting here is a big step in the direction of your sobriety.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to the posting side of SR, janesober. So nice to meet you.

I am sorry for the loss of your mother. This is a difficult time.

Congratulations on your desire to live a sober life. So many have found that living in sobriety and recovery is an exponentiallly better way.

Hope that you find success in the support, encouragement and understanding that you will find here.

thomas11

Welcome to SR, people have successfully entered into sobriety using simply this site for support. Its tough when heavy drinking is "normal" in the family dynamic. I have that situation and have gone minimal contact with them. It helps keep me sober. WIsh you the best.

janesober

Thank you, all of you, for your kind words. My SIL has a very significant drinking problem, and also needs to stop drinking. It's sad when everyone thinks guzzling drinks is okay. When I stop my SIL will say "wow good for you, I can't do that" and continue pouring. SR is a comforting place, and also it really comforting to hear how problematic other people find alcohol and the normalization of it. Thanks everyone.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Jane.

I think a lot of us try to 'try harder' when maybe what we really need to do is try something different?

I'm glad you've joined us.

Have you considered other things like AA or some other meeting based approach at all?

least

Welcome to the family Jane! I hope our support can help you stay sober for good.

fini

welcome, janesober.
knowing you need to change is a good start, as is coming out of lurking mode

good to have you here.

janesober

Hello Dee74, I haven't tried AA but I have read Annie Grace's book several times and joined her 30 day no alcohol challenges. I find that also to be helpful. I'm a pretty avid reader of other books about addiction, and try to cull things from them that I think would work best for me. Thanks for welcoming me, I've only seen SR folks be kind and supportive so I decided to stop lurking and participate.

Dee74

well welcome to the posting side of things

D

Rar

Welcome Jane. So glad you're here. You'll find support, wisdom, understanding and fellowship on SR. Looking forward to more of your posts.

SweatyHands

Hey there janesober, welcome to the family! I appreciate your honesty, and your willingness to share with us all. And I have a thought about your post—what if you don’t need to “try harder,” but instead, you need to try differently? Speaking from my own experience, my unsuccessful attempts at getting sober weren’t lacking in effort. The problem was, that after seeing that what I was trying to do wasn’t working, I continued to try the same thing over and over again, hoping that it would magically work “this time.” But, since you know what hasn’t worked, maybe you can use that experience and wisdom to try and create a recovery plan that will work for you.

Keep putting in the work! I know you can do it!

*edit* I just saw that Dee said the same thing a few responses back. That’s why Dee drives the bus around here!

janesober

Thanks SweatyHands, I definitely see what you and Dee are saying about trying something different instead of 'harder'. I drafted that post during a particularly nasty hangover, and I was pretty disgusted with myself.

I'm reading up on AVRT the past few days, which I haven't heard of before (or maybe I have and didn't really look much into it). Also I'm noticing how much wine is glamorized for women lately--it's really out of hand. Exploring books and social media that reject this glamorization and instead focus on mindfulness, general well-being and/or fitness. I'm only starting 3rd day sober, but I feel much better even though I slept for twelve hours last night and didn't feel like that was enough! Thank you all for reading, wish you all a good day.

Rar

How are you doing today, Jane?

janesober

Good morning, Rar, thank you for asking. How are you? I'm doing better. The past few days I've been working long hours, but interspersing it with another sober memoir as well as reading up on AVRT. Also just had an important discussion with my SO about drinking, and how I want the alcohol either gone or a drastic cutback (cutback portion because I feel wrong asking someone to stop drinking, but my SO changes for the worse with alcohol every third or fourth time).

Heading into the weekend four days no alcohol, and have no plans to drink today (Saturday) or tomorrow. Thank you again for checking in, I hope you are well!