howdryiam

hello everyone , ive been sober for 22 years. I ended up marrying another person who was drinking . After i conquered not drinking . I had to quit going to meetings and my job to make sure my kids weren't getting abused. My kids are all in their late 20's and im no longer married for the past 14 years. Trying to just survive. Ive noticed myself not giving a bleap about anything and not caring about peoples feelings. i see myself doing this like im on the inside watching this bleap being so mean to people. snapping before anyone had a chance. Untill i did this to my sons girl 3 times. Then my son tells me he cant live with it anymore. I knew then and there that he finally fell in love. But his girl cried on the couch the other night because she thought i would stop their relationship. I love her so much. The week before i went to see my counselor and she was kind of at the end of her rope. she said maybe your on a dry drunk. Maybe meetings. I was thinking no i quit already. I talked to someone i knew and they set me straight my first of many meetings starts Thurs. P.S. I dont want to be the mom who messes up her sons wedding because im feeling sorry for myself.

least

Welcome to the family. You'll find a lot of support here.

Dee74

Hi and welcome howdryiam

yeah for me recovery is ion two parts - ones the not drinking part and the other is being happy in a sober life I love part.

what would constitute a happy life for you do you think?

D

DontRemember

Why are you getting mad/snapping at others?

Gottalife

I had a spell like that around the 25 year mark. I put it down to giving up smoking. My doc said it was depression, what else would he say?

Strangely, it cleared up when I got more involved in AA, and began actively working with others again. We have to give it away to keep it seems to be a true saying.

Gottalife

In my case, I became restless, irritable and discontent, the symptoms described in the big book as those preceding a relapse. Fortunately I took the right corrective action.

thomas11

I had some anger issues. I resolved it with medication. Maybe tell a therapist what you've mentioned here.

Gottalife

I am glad you have found a safe path forward. There is a trap for us old timers that is being talked about around AA these days. It has been noticed that significant number of people with considerable sober time have begun turning up in rehabs, having relapsed. Looking into what is behind that (which is of considerable interest to me) it was discovered that there was a common kind of theme.

Old timer stops doing what has been working. Old timer becomes restless, irritable and discontent. Old timer goes to doctor. In discussion, alcohol is ruled out as the cause because of such an extended period of sobriety.

It can't be the booze. So a conventional diagnosis is made, any one of a number of disorders, and medication prescribed. It turns out that the medication prescribed works on exactly the same part of the brain as alcohol did, in a similar way, and it triggers the phenomenon of craving. The old timer then has no option but to drink.

It is of course obvious that it can't be the booze that caused this, because the old timer has been dry so long. But what about the alcoholism. That was what his program was treating, and it was that treatment that he stopped. The obsession came back which lead to the unhappiness, which lead to the medication which lead the phenomenon of craving which lead to the fatal first drink, which lead eventually to the rehab.

My last big relapse started in a similar way. Alcohol is my drug of no choice. Well meaning but possibly addict friends suggested and alternative drug. One small dose of that immediately triggered the craving for my drug of no choice, and a drink was down my neck in seconds. Thus ended my longest period - several months - dry.

Dee74

how are you howdryIam?

D