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I think my husband quit drinking

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Old 05-14-2018, 09:00 AM
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Rar
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I think my husband quit drinking

I suspected my husband had slowed down his drinking a couple of days ago. I didn't see him drink two days ago, nor did I see him drink yesterday. Today he didn't buy any beer. I can't believe it!

This might be his Day 2 or even Day 3. He seems to be doing okay. Doesn't seem anxious or anything, but I'm going to be edgy waiting for him to become irritable. Nonetheless, keeping my fingers crossed.

Who would think? .
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Old 05-14-2018, 10:28 AM
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That is good right?

Honestly I thank goodness my husband isn't much of a drinker. He brought beer home Friday and drank one, then another Saturday. He asked if I minded if he bought beer, it's down in the fridge in the garage. I didn't think I minded, but I did, I Won't lie. Even though it was a clear lager in a can blech definitely not a beer snob.

I am happy for you and I hope this helps you in your sobriety. Hugs to you and what a happy thing to happen.
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Old 05-14-2018, 10:53 AM
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Wow, Rar! That is fantastic news.

All the best to him.
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Old 05-14-2018, 10:56 AM
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Interesting.

I hope it sticks.
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Old 05-14-2018, 12:48 PM
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Well that didn't last long. He had two in the refrigerator. Originally said that's all he would drink. Well, we know how that works. . He drank the two and is off to buy more. Bummer!
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Old 05-14-2018, 12:56 PM
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Well, Rar, perhaps the seed is planted and he will think about stopping drinking at some point.
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Old 05-14-2018, 01:06 PM
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Ah no fun. I'm sure it's tough with a committed drinker in the house. Perhaps best to really focus away from his boozing habits.

Happy to see you back with us though Rar.
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Old 05-14-2018, 01:33 PM
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Hi Rar
My husband is a drinker too. He is currently cutting down and doing ok really. It's just when he says, "right, no more until xxxday" - I make the point that wouldn't it be better not to be ruled by drink like that? It seems not!
That is one of the big things for me, no longer being ruled by booze, it is such a freedom!
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Old 05-14-2018, 01:48 PM
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This sounds so familiar. My husband cut back to JUST the weekends, Friday, Saturday & Sunday, when I quit drinking. That was ok for awhile.
He has back issues so has been taking Gabapentin three times a day. I don't think it's a good idea to drink with any meds. Anyway, he has been acting pretty loopy when he drinks. He ONLY buys an 18 pack on the weekends. Well I found out he has been buying the high octane beer 8% (we live in Utah so the stuff in the stores is lower). I am really getting concerned & have mentioned it to him. But I know it will be up to him to get a handle on it. Lord knows it took me forever.
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Old 05-14-2018, 02:09 PM
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Well, we learned that the seller of our contracted new house, has taken items from the house, among them the 50" TV and the Monet Iris print that I really liked. They left food in the cupboards and miscellaneous junk in the closets for us to clear out. We are attempting to negotiate a reduction in the sale price. If that fails, we will hire an attorney and go to mediation. I understand the seller is hoping we'll back out because he 'supposedly' received an offer for $10,000 more. He might have an issue with hiring his own attorney and splitting mediation costs. We don't.

Anyway, that's the reason for Husband's drinking. I am fighting the AV myself. Almost done with Day 4.
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Old 05-14-2018, 02:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Rar View Post

Anyway, that's the reason for Husband's drinking. I am fighting the AV myself. Almost done with Day 4.
There's reason to drink everyday, as you know.

Stay strong Rar, it's not worth it.
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Old 05-14-2018, 02:15 PM
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Originally Posted by lessgravity View Post
There's reason to drink everyday, as you know.

Stay strong Rar, it's not worth it.
Agreed - not worth it!
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Old 05-14-2018, 04:07 PM
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Ah yes indeed, I lived by:
Good day = drink
Bad day = drink
Celebration = drink
Drown sorrows = drink
Bored = drink

...we all know how that goes!

Now I just need to not use chocolate instead of drink!!
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Old 05-14-2018, 04:42 PM
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I hope a seed has been plamnted in hubby Rra. Hope you sort out the house thign

Stay True

D
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Old 05-14-2018, 08:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Rar View Post
Well, we learned that the seller of our contracted new house, has taken items from the house, among them the 50" TV and the Monet Iris print that I really liked. They left food in the cupboards and miscellaneous junk in the closets for us to clear out. We are attempting to negotiate a reduction in the sale price. If that fails, we will hire an attorney and go to mediation. I understand the seller is hoping we'll back out because he 'supposedly' received an offer for $10,000 more. He might have an issue with hiring his own attorney and splitting mediation costs. We don't.

Anyway, that's the reason for Husband's drinking. I am fighting the AV myself. Almost done with Day 4.
Were these items included in the Residential Purchase Agreement as remaining in the house?

In California and most states, if you want to retain any personal property (and a print and TV would definitely qualify as personal property) you have to have it specifically included, or the seller can take whatever they want. This includes things like appliances, lighting fixtures, basically anything that can be easily removed.

Items left in the house that you don't want would also need to be negotiated prior to signing the purchase agreement.

This might not be a fight you can win, and the stress may not be worth it if you (or your husband) are being stressed into drinking over it.

I could be incorrect, Florida/New York law might be different, but here in CA and in most places, anything you want from the buyer needs to be negotiated and included in the purchase agreement.
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Old 05-14-2018, 10:20 PM
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What's stopping you from going to AA yourself?
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Old 05-15-2018, 03:31 AM
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I was going to say be careful to manage your expectations...

That said, clearly - despite whatever irritable nonsense that comes out of his mouth at times - you are having a positive impact on him. Some people may never admit that. But I hope you can use that as a means to further shore up your own self-validation that not drinking is a massively positive thing in your life and that the example DOES have an impact on the world around you.

So glad you are here.
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Old 05-15-2018, 03:58 AM
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Originally Posted by MindfulMan View Post
Were these items included in the Residential Purchase Agreement as remaining in the house?

In California and most states, if you want to retain any personal property (and a print and TV would definitely qualify as personal property) you have to have it specifically included, or the seller can take whatever they want. This includes things like appliances, lighting fixtures, basically anything that can be easily removed.

Items left in the house that you don't want would also need to be negotiated prior to signing the purchase agreement.

This might not be a fight you can win, and the stress may not be worth it if you (or your husband) are being stressed into drinking over it.

I could be incorrect, Florida/New York law might be different, but here in CA and in most places, anything you want from the buyer needs to be negotiated and included in the purchase agreement.
The MLS listing said, 'fully furnished'. Additionally, the contract specified, "Turn key - All furnishings and appliances". There were NO items excluded from the purchase. We let the deficiencies go, though one (being water pressure) was significant. When they start removing stuff, then that's an issue to me. It surely isn't worth drinking over, but it clearly shows dishonesty and a lack of integrity. I have little enthusiasm for the new house now.

One of my concerns at present is they turned off all the electric (air conditioning). Not a huge issue in itself, but in Florida it could be. They left food in the cupboards (open boxes of cereal, crackers, etc.). With the property vacant, that certainly could invite roaches or other insects..
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Old 05-15-2018, 09:30 AM
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50" Tv's are CHEAP nowadays and the print is just a couple hundred aswell..Mountains/mole hills..sure it sucks he was dishonest,but is it really worth the hassle?
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Old 05-15-2018, 10:03 AM
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Rar, that is really great news with your husband. I hope you give him all kinds of positive reinforcement in ways that accentuate how much you enjoy him not drinking, being available for conversations, doing more things together (just examples, certainly if that is the case you are finding him being more agreeable to be around). You can certainly find the good in his not drinking - maybe it's walking more, being outside, active, stuff like that... let him know how much you are enjoying him NOT drinking! These can be the best years of your life.
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