Last night was rough
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
Last night was rough
Day 2 here.
Shaking finally slow down at about 3 am and I slept for maybe 2 hours. Now I am feeling so nauseous.
I can’t wait to feel better and never do it again. I can’t my husband knows now anyhow.
Shaking finally slow down at about 3 am and I slept for maybe 2 hours. Now I am feeling so nauseous.
I can’t wait to feel better and never do it again. I can’t my husband knows now anyhow.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Originally Posted by Bumblebee2 
Day 2 here.
Shaking finally slow down at about 3 am and I slept for maybe 2 hours. Now I am feeling so nauseous.
I can’t wait to feel better and never do it again. I can’t my husband knows now anyhow.
Shaking finally slow down at about 3 am and I slept for maybe 2 hours. Now I am feeling so nauseous.
I can’t wait to feel better and never do it again. I can’t my husband knows now anyhow.
Having that extra layer of accountability helps make it a priority - especially in the early days.
The feel better is on the way. Hang in there.
It's soooo worth it...B
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: England
Posts: 59
Same here Bumblebee. On day 2 myself and had a really rough night's sleep. We can do this, it will get better.
My husband doesn't know what I'm going through, he has had no idea that I've had more than the occasional one which he thinks I can handle. I'm sick of the lies and deceit, glad your husband knows.
My husband doesn't know what I'm going through, he has had no idea that I've had more than the occasional one which he thinks I can handle. I'm sick of the lies and deceit, glad your husband knows.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
Telling my husband was so scary. There was a lot of sneak drinking and lies. He isn’t happy with me, but said he won’t leave me. There is a sense of relief that there isn’t going to be lies anymore.
I’ve tried to do this myself countless times and failed. I need support from him. And he is going to tell my parents too eventually.
Mother’s Day yesterday was the worst day of my life. Eating an orange now and drinking some water.
I’ve tried to do this myself countless times and failed. I need support from him. And he is going to tell my parents too eventually.
Mother’s Day yesterday was the worst day of my life. Eating an orange now and drinking some water.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Hang in there Bumblebee. You made it through Day 1. Everyone here understands what you're going through, so you're not alone. Continue to stay hydrated. It will get better and the good thing is you will never have to do this again.
Stay close. Keep reading and posting.
Stay close. Keep reading and posting.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: England
Posts: 59
I have some idea of what you're going through Bumblebee. I had nearly 5 years sober when I lost it in 2015 and then followed 3 years of hell. I've told my husband at various points, quit for a little while and then found myself even worse down the hole.
The past year or so I sit away from him so he can't get a whiff of the vodka that's in whatever I'm drinking. Though I confessed and cried on Christmas Day and he said he'd known for a while. Quit again in January, same story.
Convinced him that if I could quit, then I could also moderate. This was more lies as he then saw me drinking the occasional wine but of course I was sneaking off to drink more and more. Rarely made it to bed at the same time as him so I could drink "in peace".
Started drinking in the mornings, at work, everywhere I went. Before 2010 I was a "functional drunk". Now I was failing even to do that. Lost whole days whilst he was away with work. Felt totally and utterly out of control and absolutely hopeless until last week when I found this place. Finally feel some hope and fellowship. Haven't told my husband though because I just don't want to admit it.....again. He would support me I know but I'd rather take the support from here, where others know what I'm going through. He is too easy to hoodwink, even after all I've put him through.
Let's lean on each other huh?
The past year or so I sit away from him so he can't get a whiff of the vodka that's in whatever I'm drinking. Though I confessed and cried on Christmas Day and he said he'd known for a while. Quit again in January, same story.
Convinced him that if I could quit, then I could also moderate. This was more lies as he then saw me drinking the occasional wine but of course I was sneaking off to drink more and more. Rarely made it to bed at the same time as him so I could drink "in peace".
Started drinking in the mornings, at work, everywhere I went. Before 2010 I was a "functional drunk". Now I was failing even to do that. Lost whole days whilst he was away with work. Felt totally and utterly out of control and absolutely hopeless until last week when I found this place. Finally feel some hope and fellowship. Haven't told my husband though because I just don't want to admit it.....again. He would support me I know but I'd rather take the support from here, where others know what I'm going through. He is too easy to hoodwink, even after all I've put him through.
Let's lean on each other huh?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
Originally Posted by esymarieb
I have some idea of what you're going through Bumblebee. I had nearly 5 years sober when I lost it in 2015 and then followed 3 years of hell. I've told my husband at various points, quit for a little while and then found myself even worse down the hole.
The past year or so I sit away from him so he can't get a whiff of the vodka that's in whatever I'm drinking. Though I confessed and cried on Christmas Day and he said he'd known for a while. Quit again in January, same story.
Convinced him that if I could quit, then I could also moderate. This was more lies as he then saw me drinking the occasional wine but of course I was sneaking off to drink more and more. Rarely made it to bed at the same time as him so I could drink "in peace".
Started drinking in the mornings, at work, everywhere I went. Before 2010 I was a "functional drunk". Now I was failing even to do that. Lost whole days whilst he was away with work. Felt totally and utterly out of control and absolutely hopeless until last week when I found this place. Finally feel some hope and fellowship. Haven't told my husband though because I just don't want to admit it.....again. He would support me I know but I'd rather take the support from here, where others know what I'm going through. He is too easy to hoodwink, even after all I've put him through.
Let's lean on each other huh?
The past year or so I sit away from him so he can't get a whiff of the vodka that's in whatever I'm drinking. Though I confessed and cried on Christmas Day and he said he'd known for a while. Quit again in January, same story.
Convinced him that if I could quit, then I could also moderate. This was more lies as he then saw me drinking the occasional wine but of course I was sneaking off to drink more and more. Rarely made it to bed at the same time as him so I could drink "in peace".
Started drinking in the mornings, at work, everywhere I went. Before 2010 I was a "functional drunk". Now I was failing even to do that. Lost whole days whilst he was away with work. Felt totally and utterly out of control and absolutely hopeless until last week when I found this place. Finally feel some hope and fellowship. Haven't told my husband though because I just don't want to admit it.....again. He would support me I know but I'd rather take the support from here, where others know what I'm going through. He is too easy to hoodwink, even after all I've put him through.
Let's lean on each other huh?
And yes! Let’s stidk together and check up on each other. The more accountability I have, the stronger I feel.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
My husband also had a revelation the other day regarding how I perceived my drinking. We were having an argument and he said something like I shouldn't stop drinking until after (insert event), or that I should just have a couple. I said, "I can't stop once I start - that's why I'm an alcoholic". I've said it to myself hundreds of times, but never came out to actually say 'alcoholic' to him. I'm glad I finally said it.
The days following my confession, he only drank a couple, so I'm hoping he moderates himself a little more carefully, or at least stays away from me.
So after all this, my point is that I'm glad I finally said something, albeit in anger.
HUGS to Bumblebee and Esy.
The days following my confession, he only drank a couple, so I'm hoping he moderates himself a little more carefully, or at least stays away from me.
So after all this, my point is that I'm glad I finally said something, albeit in anger.
HUGS to Bumblebee and Esy.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
Originally Posted by esymarieb
I have some idea of what you're going through Bumblebee. I had nearly 5 years sober when I lost it in 2015 and then followed 3 years of hell. I've told my husband at various points, quit for a little while and then found myself even worse down the hole.
The past year or so I sit away from him so he can't get a whiff of the vodka that's in whatever I'm drinking. Though I confessed and cried on Christmas Day and he said he'd known for a while. Quit again in January, same story.
Convinced him that if I could quit, then I could also moderate. This was more lies as he then saw me drinking the occasional wine but of course I was sneaking off to drink more and more. Rarely made it to bed at the same time as him so I could drink "in peace".
Started drinking in the mornings, at work, everywhere I went. Before 2010 I was a "functional drunk". Now I was failing even to do that. Lost whole days whilst he was away with work. Felt totally and utterly out of control and absolutely hopeless until last week when I found this place. Finally feel some hope and fellowship. Haven't told my husband though because I just don't want to admit it.....again. He would support me I know but I'd rather take the support from here, where others know what I'm going through. He is too easy to hoodwink, even after all I've put him through.
Let's lean on each other huh?
The past year or so I sit away from him so he can't get a whiff of the vodka that's in whatever I'm drinking. Though I confessed and cried on Christmas Day and he said he'd known for a while. Quit again in January, same story.
Convinced him that if I could quit, then I could also moderate. This was more lies as he then saw me drinking the occasional wine but of course I was sneaking off to drink more and more. Rarely made it to bed at the same time as him so I could drink "in peace".
Started drinking in the mornings, at work, everywhere I went. Before 2010 I was a "functional drunk". Now I was failing even to do that. Lost whole days whilst he was away with work. Felt totally and utterly out of control and absolutely hopeless until last week when I found this place. Finally feel some hope and fellowship. Haven't told my husband though because I just don't want to admit it.....again. He would support me I know but I'd rather take the support from here, where others know what I'm going through. He is too easy to hoodwink, even after all I've put him through.
Let's lean on each other huh?
And yes! Let’s stidk together and check up on each other. The more accountability I have, the stronger I feel.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 182
I too lied & tried to conceal my drinking from my husband.
It wasn't until one day when I thought he was at work & was sneaking
A bottle of wine hidden in the depths of the cupboard..that he caught me in the act so to speak.
I thank god every day now that he found out.
I couldn't carry on living in that utter turmoil anymore.
It does get better I promise.
Sending you my both hugs xxx
Ps I'm 80 days in ..it really is possible to drag yourself out of this living hell
Just takes a lot of commitment ...love & understanding ..of our family &
This forum has truly saved my life xxx
It wasn't until one day when I thought he was at work & was sneaking
A bottle of wine hidden in the depths of the cupboard..that he caught me in the act so to speak.
I thank god every day now that he found out.
I couldn't carry on living in that utter turmoil anymore.
It does get better I promise.
Sending you my both hugs xxx
Ps I'm 80 days in ..it really is possible to drag yourself out of this living hell
Just takes a lot of commitment ...love & understanding ..of our family &
This forum has truly saved my life xxx
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 13
I can totally relate to everything everyone is writing here. I feel like I am the queen of lying and sneaking and I just can’t do it anymore. I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. Drank heavily last night and really vowing to get alcohol out of my life for good. Feeling awful right now.
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Join Date: May 2018
Location: England
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by MamaKlaus
I can totally relate to everything everyone is writing here. I feel like I am the queen of lying and sneaking and I just can’t do it anymore. I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. Drank heavily last night and really vowing to get alcohol out of my life for good. Feeling awful right now.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 454
Feeling slightly better now. Went for a walk with dog and daughter... drinking water. I can’t for the nauseousness and shakiness completely subside.
Hoping for a better night sleep tonight and it is only 1037 am here.
Hoping for a better night sleep tonight and it is only 1037 am here.
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Join Date: May 2018
Location: England
Posts: 59
I'm a bit further ahead in the day than you - it's currently 4pm and the evening is looming and with it the desires. Also hoping for a better night's sleep here too.
Rar wrote on my thread "Think of the sweats as the toxins leaving your body and the other symptoms as your body and brain recovering." I like that. It's painful and horrible but it is a sign that it is all leaving my body and that is a good thing. Maybe you can take some comfort from that too?
Rar wrote on my thread "Think of the sweats as the toxins leaving your body and the other symptoms as your body and brain recovering." I like that. It's painful and horrible but it is a sign that it is all leaving my body and that is a good thing. Maybe you can take some comfort from that too?
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