sweetichick

I've got a week up but are terrified of payday. Every time it comes around I end up drinking. My psychiatrist says I live for payday so I can start another binge. My last payday was only a 3 day binge but I later managed to find money to buy a bottle here and there. I'm feeling a lot better. I can walk around the shops without holding onto a trolley. I''m in tears as I write this because I don't honestly have anything to look forward to if I don't drink. I'm thinking of spending the money on a haircut instead. That's something I really need. I guess the only answer is 'don't drink no matter what'.

JK130

You can do this! Get sober...AND reward yourself with the money you'll save. It's very rewarding to save and see the $$ spent on alcohol used for something else - something you need, or want, or just a rainy day fund!

Mattq2

Yes do what you have to but don’t drink. All things have a remarkable way of improving given some sober time. Can you deposit your money straight into the bank?

suki44883

Yes! That should be your mantra. Write it down and place it in several places in your house so you are sure to see it several times a day. Keep those words in mind always.

Dee74

Hi sweetichick
I think we need to think beyond the immediate?

You have a lot of things to look forward to - getting stronger and walking by yourself again, being able to stay in your own home, saving all the money you'd spend on booze, making new sober friends, and maybe even in the fullness of time the sober you might be able to reconnect and have a relationship with your kids again. Who knows - you may even find a loving relationship with someone else who treats you as you deserve to be treated.


Sure I don't know those last two for certain - but there's always hope - and you have no chance of any of that if you keep drinking.

Be in it for the long haul - plan for a sober payday tomorrow - the first of many.

We'll be here to support you

D

Marcutah1

Hang in there SC. I now have a friend that I call everyday when I leave work (so far 9 days without a drink) to help me get past the store. I have quit so many times in the past that I quit quitting. I have chosen not to drink today or if the cravings are strong, that moment. I do have a couple of friends that I can call to talk me through. I start counseling later this week.

Laura3

If you can't resist the urge maybe you should check into treatment or detox. That way you won't be able to drink. After some time has passed you will feel better and the urge will be less when you leave

Laura3

Did I just break the rules with medical advice?

Dee74

No
suggesting rehab or recommending seeing a Dr or going to the ER is not medical advice by our rules Laura.

D

Free2bme888

Marcutah. That’s great, day 9! I’m only at Day number 12 myself. I have been also looking on YouTube there aren’t many Montrose you can review that will help you focus on the positive

Appreciate your honest and frank post

Delilah1

Hi Sweetichick,

I'm so glad you are thinking ahead about payday. Dee's post was spot on about thinking beyond the immediate, you have so many things to look forward to sober.

Can you give someone else your paycheck tomorrow and have them pay the bills needed this week? Think about opening a savings account and putting money aside for something you would like, it will add up a little at a time.

If you are even thinking about buying alcohol reread what you posted last time after payday, you don't want to deal with this again. Also, log on here and post, you will find someone here ready to support you.

I know you can do this!!!!❤️

least

You got it right: DON'T DRINK, NO MATTER WHAT!

Zanna

Your post reminded me of all the 'crazy' things I used to do to avoid drinking.
I would put all my paper money in an ice tray and freeze it - by the time it deforsted, the urge had worn off. I would also stick my head under the shower if I was fighting whether to go to the shop or not - couldn't go with wet hair.
A few times, I gave my card and money to a friend to save for the weekend - no way would I ask for it back until after the weekend- too embarrassing.
I can smile now looking back and I'm sure you can think of 'funny' things to do that help you too
Hang in there gal Xx

tomsteve

I don't honestly have anything to look forward to if I don't drink.

what do you have to look forward to when you do drink? from this side it sure as hell doesnt read like anything occuring when ya drink is something to look forward to.

get to meetings. call people in recovery. read the big book. PRAY. commit.

there aint no drin worthy event.

soupcon

Have you talked to a doctor about antabuse? When I was in rehab, it was given to all the alcoholics to help resist temptation in the early days of sobriety or used at specific times to take away the option to drink.

Zanna

TomSteve is right - if you drink you're still going to be sitting in the same house, in the same mess and with withdrawals the only thing to look forward to. We all DO understand where you're coming from - I just wish we could magic you a couple of months into the future and show you how brilliant life can be.
It's worth and and more imprtantly YOU are worth it! x

AnvilheadII

if you want to stay sober, you will. no one can force you to go to the shops and buy alcohol. you are in complete control of that decision. payday is just another day. just.another.day.

you say you have nothing to live for. i suggest you find things, open your heart, your eyes, your mind. AA has lots of "activities" to be involved with - picnics, conferences, camp outs, dances, conventions, retreats. opportunities for like minded sober people to get together in a variety of different settings and for different purposes.

tekink

this! I find isolating myself helps but I'm an introvert and anyone I see out drinks and that triggers my urges because I feel like I'm punishing myself.


You need a plan on what to do when these urges strike and then follow the plan instead of buying booze.

Dee74

hows it going sweetichick?

Zanna

I also signed in, just to see how you are Sweetichick - people care, you know?
I see you haven't signed in today, but we are here for you, so please let us know how you are.
Hugs to you.
Xx