nightshade131

Hi everyone, I really don't know where to start except to say this site has been very helpful to me for quite a while now. It's made me realise a few things about my life which I thought I hated or either loved. I 'loved' coming home from work and having a glass of wine almost immediately. By myself. I 'hated' the stresses of everyday life, which as I have got older have become more complicated. I was drinking every day, increasing the amount - telling myself it was either my reward or my de-stress. There were some days I would even drink in the morning. I genuinely love some alcohol, the trouble is, once I start I can't stop.
Last week there was an alcohol-related incident which may result in some serious repercussions for myself. It scared the life out of me so I stopped drinking for 3 days - and the shakes I had were horrible. I realised then that my body has probably never experienced withdrawal before. By day 3 I was feeling a bit better so what did I do? I had a bottle of wine! Not had anything since because the 'bar is dry' - my head feels clear but I am not sleepy (I used alcohol to help me sleep too) and I have to leave for work in 7hrs. I just hope that on the way home from work I don't pick up a bottle because the 'alcohol voice' told me to
Hope I made sense!

Buckley3

Spot on. I can relate. Many can I'm sure.

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable."

That's step 1. I've found that prior to my current run of sobriety I thought I understood what denial was. I didn't. It's not complicated, but I vastly underestimated my ability to bs myself.

Now that I've admitted it I feel an amazing sense of relief. The madness is over. The lying is done. The life I used to live is not the life I live now. The tremendous amount of energy I expended - physical and spiritual - to deal with with life in both the moments I was drunk and the moments I was sober but dealing with all the crap that comes from being drunk.... it's gone. It can be an incredibly liberating experience.

Can be for you too. Don't drink. Be honest with yourself. There's a life waiting for you that's really really freaking awesome.

You aren't alone here.

-B

PS - Remind me too - I ask this often - what exactly is the downside to not drinking?? I've yet to ever get a good, specific response from myself or others....

Ghostlight1

You made perfect sense. And also a confession that is very common among us alcoholics, and I'm not calling you one, but some of the people here and I've met in AA.
I know your story well. Stick around here and others will chime in with support and similar stories.
You've taken a big first step by posting here and being honest about your drinking.
So welcome and stick around

least

Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Mattq2

I found it extremely easy to find reasons to drink. Truth was I just wanted to drink. You can learn to deal with the stresses of life without alcohol. You can do it. Welcome to SR

nightshade131

Thanks guys, with this clear head I've been experiencing I am feeling quite positive. I just hope I have the stamina to deal with the ups and downs of life on my own merits

Mattq2

It’s hard at first but dealing with bad days without drinking gets easier and easier. Drinking just isn’t any option for me anymore