calmself

Folks, I am in Day 2, but meeting a long time friend who s flying down from LA this week. He has been waiting to do brewery tasting with me and I do not want to embarass him. Is there anyways I can escape from drinking? How do you handle prior commitments made?

Nonsensical

Trust that a long time friend will be happy that you're working to make your life better.

Or, put another way, if he prefers brewery tasting to you, then you'd probably want to know that so you can take him off the 'friend' list.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

least

Tell him you don't drink anymore.

calmself

Thanks, Folks! guess it is a good idea to tell him that I am trying to cut down but will just tag along with him. But that will become a major unwanted test for me

AnvilheadII

pick another activity.

wynwrights

Tell him you’re a recovering alcoholic and suggest doing something different. If he pouts, then he’s not really much of a friend. It’s a brewery tasting, not a once in a lifetime trip to Tahiti. I’m sure skipping it won’t cause that much of a problem!

Marcutah1

Truth is always best. This is a time for you first. This is day 9 for me. I have lost one friend already due to their inability to deal with my decision to stop.

axeman5971

Don’t worry so much about what other people think. It’s not worth hurting yourself to avoid “embarrassing him”. A good friend will understand and be supportive.

I used to be so afraid of what other people would think of me. I would pre-prescribe how they were going to feel before i let them feel it! Let that worry go.

calmself

Appreciate your guidance here folks. It is going to be a slightly difficult / embarassing conversation but I will have to manage. Pretty sure he is going to ask stuff like "Why did you choose this week?. Start next week" and stuff, but I will have to hold my fort.

D122y

calm,

Part of my new non drinking bluing process was experiencing drinking activities and not drinking.

It is enlightening seeing a "normy" go from stone sober to intoxicated, coming off the buzz, and seeing them later all tired and in detox.

There is a decent chance that most folks that consider themselves normies are addicted and just haven't realized they are addicted yet.

Telling an addict they have a problem is a great way to spoil the evening. I have actually never opened it up, but my Dad set me up once a while back.

He said that he quit drinking, but started up again saying...he never drank as hard as me so he didn't have a problem.

I said cool...to each their own.

Anyway, hope this helps you.

Thanks.

calmself

Cool way he conveyed his thoughts. Thanks for sharing! And it all makes sense. Maybe my friend could be having issues too. I saw many bottles of wine on top of his fridge. Though he says it is only when guests are around.

Rar

I can see this happening, but you're right - hold your fort. You're pretty fragile right now. I'd stay away from that brewery.

Anna

Early recovery is a time of some very difficult decisions for many of us. It looks like this is one of those times for you.

jhonnyspa

To tell you the truth I would not tell my friend the truth and say the doctor told me to quit drinking as I have raised liver enzyme levels.I would still go as he is traveling a long distance but fruit juice is the only thing I would be tasting if I made a 100% commitment to quit.

calmself

Do these breweries typically even offer fruit juices/ any other alternative (other than water) during these tastings?

DontRemember

Most breweries I've visited in CA/CO are family friendly,so they have soft drinks and such. The food is actually really good too,but I'm not in the 'camp' of worrying about 'IPA cheese' on my burger.

dcg

If you made 100% commitment to quit, then you don't need to lie to your friend.

J50

Whether you tell him the truth about why you stopped is your call, but I would give him a heads up before he comes down that you aren't drinking.

Maybe offer a few different ideas of things you can do instead of the brewery.

If he gets upset about not drinking with you then you know he was a drinking buddy and not a friend.

Dee74

I would not go on a brewery tour, full stop.

D

calmself

J50, Kinda did what you had indicated and he was not at all thrilled. The thing is he has paid 79$ per person(( He is like reassuring me that he wont let me go more than few and it involves much more than just drinking (history, brewing methods etc., meeting new people etc. etc.). I am going to pay up, not an issue but I really wonder if I can bail myself out now. Better stick to fruit juices as i am planning to.