J50

The advice from the senior members here like Dee will be to not go, as you are definitely playing with fire and opening yourself up to temptation.

Like others have stated, you can go and not drink alcohol but if your friend is pressuring you to drink, can you tell him no?

If yes, and he is truly interested in the process, tell him you'll be the DD so he can enjoy.

If not, you need to assess if your friendship or sobriety is more important to you.

gymratgirl

I am not saying this is the right way to handle this, but if it helps you for this visit....can you just tell him you are on medication/antibiotic etc and cannot drink? That would at least give you some time to perhaps discuss your drinking at another time when you feel more prepared? You can make up any medical situation..kidney stones, high blood pressure etc that will likely work and he may suggest on his own another activity?

Stayingsassy

It's very hard to explain things early in sobriety. It gets easier later because you yourself get comfortable with your own sobriety, and you just simply tell people I don't drink any more and it's no biggie.

For day 2? With a buddy you used to have drinks with? and there's a big event? Tough.

Id go with gymrat on this one.

Unless you already told him. then you could elaborate with this:

"Man, this sucks because I just went on medication for reflux/high liver enzymes/infection/abdominal pain/autoimmune issues....doctors orders. No alcohol. let's get a burger!!"

any number of conditions or meds do not go well with drinking. Pick one.

because explaining a new sober program is difficult. And starting one is difficult too, so don't underestimate what it took for you to declare your own sobriety.

dcg

I've gotten drunk on all of that (except for autoimmune, as never had that), as well as with 102 flu (talk about morning headache).

OP,

You're friend isn't the problem, you are. If you don't think you can go without succumbing to "tasting" some beers, particularly if you're a beer snob (i.e., enjoy everything craft beers), then don't go.

This "I won't let you have more than a few" is meaningless because:

1: no one ever does that
2: it opens the door to additional days (weeks, months, years) drinking before you decide to stop again

You know yourself better than anyone here. Ask yourself honestly if you won't cave, then take the appropriate action regardless if you go or not.

As for not going, it's pretty easy:

"Yo, brah, not coming with. Let's meet up later, cool?"
"WTF? No! Not cool!"
"Sorry, bruh, can't handle my ****, gotta take a break."
"Take it tomorrow."
"Gotta do it now, sorry."

calmself

Thanks folks for the useful suggestions. I thought about how i react the moment i see IPAs (salivation and thirst). I cannot resist. As Dee and other folks suggested, I have to insure myself that day morning by using a technique - have Tylenol that day morning. End of story..Tylenol and alcohol simply cannot go together and I have used this technique once or twice in the past, during those back to back everyday parties during leadership trainings.
BLOT, I am going to avoid this totally. I know what will happen if i go.

calmself

Folks, My friend himself called up and updated that he was able to cancel this for a minimal charge. We are now planning to go to a movie and eat @ Indian place later. Thank you for all the great suggestions! He understood my intentions and was also glad to help me though he was still curious as to what changed in me, all of a sudden.

Inchworm

Way to go, Calm!

Stayingsassy

Real friend you've got there! He's a keeper.

Dee74

I'm glad it was cancelled Calm. Have a enjoyable siober catch up with your friend

D