Didn't know what to share at meet - and thats ok
 

Hello all,

I dont post much here and of all I have posted, I think this is perhaps the most irrelevant of them all :P

I am close to my 90 in 90 target and stoked with that. Have become a regular around the rooms and comfortable/happy to be there. In fact, VERY happy to be there. The meetings have become the highlight of my days - unsure if this is a little bit sad (as in a lame way) but I am fine with it whatever.

Last night, I was down in a place called Mandurah and I had this feeling I was going to be asked to share (we were on/looking at/up to step 7) and as I am on step four, I was a little concerned I would be asked to share. Then as time went by, I figured 'hey, its all good, there are good people in this room, here for the same reason I am. They want whats best for themselves just as I do, it doesnt matter if I share on topic/otherwise'.

As more and more were sharing I became very aware how much I had changed/altered in the past few months. Whereas once I would be sat riddled with anxiety and fear, I was cool about it. Did not phase me.

-- Did not even end up being asked hey! haha

Some may recall that I have been hurting about the breakup between me and a great girl (same day as last day of drinking) and I am coming to peace with that now also. I still have times of days when I really hurt and miss her/feel bad about how it went down, the lies, broken promises, hurt - you will almost certainly know where Im at with this and dont need to expand further!

But I am realising that everything happens for a reason and I can only focus on my present, try to be the best me, have patience, be kind(er) and have clarity of making amends - the best amend I can make to her is leave her alone unless she reaches out and leave booze alone.

Have a new sponsor as the former one is dealing with some family issues (daughter addicted to some pretty nasty drugs) and wife diagnosed with bad stuff. The new sponsor isnt someone I have been particularly close to but, I dont think thats a bad thing. He has told me I need to call him every day at a set time and pray (on my knees - never done this) each morning.

There is calmness in me. I have money in my bank account and I have a big outlay coming out soon but thats because of a planned trip which I need to train for and I honestly cannot wait!!

My mind is altering to looking at life as experiences waiting to happen - just out there, the world is waiting for me to find them and enjoy them. The confidence I am developing is new and exciting rather than unexpected and uncomfortable.

Wishing everyone well :)

Very well said. Enjoyed reading. Congrats on your progress.

Enjoy the calmness !

It is funny when you mention calmness as just even a month ago I shared at a meet (felt guilty after) mentioning how I didnt know how 'normal' people lived... As life was just boring...

Today I think - AWESOME!! Serenity come at me!!

I cant explain why but I think part of me missed the drama - thinking on that immediately, perhaps its an ego thing where I was the centre of attention and the bloke who could drink like a fish/would drink anything. Hmmm might be onto something.

Either way, Im all about the chill now :D