Stubbs16

Nicole, dont ever give up and never stop trying. Ive failed time and again, Im still working on it. I refuse to give up. I know you can do this. We can recover. Luv and hugs..

Highercall

This happens to me all the time a couple days sober then a binge. Please never give up, this is such a difficult thing to beat. Look after yourself

Wastinglife

I am stuck in the same cycle Nichole. I am so isolated that I can't get out of my own head. A few beers and all the worry goes away. Of course, those initial beers turn into about 16 as I try to maintain that sense of calm alcohol brings, ending up an intoxicated mess. If I had the means I would check into in-patient rehab for 90 days. I always had the impression that alcoholics/addicts don't want to go to rehab and have to be forced in some way. I want to go but can't afford it. Keep trying!

xxxNICHOLExxx

So I guess day 1 I thought I’d be okay with being an alcoholic and tried to convince myself not to care but here I am guess I’m not ready to give up on the fight seems like the right thing to do I feel like I’m just wasting my life on drinking and drugs when life can be so much more then that I know there is a good chance I probably have another day 1 but if I don’t keep trying there never be peace in my life with my addiction ugh I’m not ready for what’s about to come but I know it has to be done I’m just thankful for everyone on here y’all are freaking amazing thanks for the kind words and support one day my life will be addiction free!!!!!

ProfessorD

Good for you on day 1. I've been struggling too, and the way I see it is the struggle for sober days is still so much better than the drinking. I hope this is your last day 1, but if it isn't, it's still a sober day to be grateful for. Each day is a gift. Good luck to you.

Berrybean

I don't think I'd ever have been 'ready' really. There was never going to come a day when it woukd be easy. I just needed to get desperate enough to push through and to let people help me.

You can do this. And you can learn to love the person you are without alcohol.

We are so much more than the things we do.

BB

Delilah1

Hi Nichole,

I'm so glad to see you here today, for a brand new day. You can definitely do this, and I promise it gets easier as time goes by.

I am always amazed at the things we say to, or about ourselves, that we would never say to anyone else. I have read comment you have made to others on SR, and they are always kind and supportive. Start there today, be kind to yourself, because you are amazing, and deserve that.

Take a little time to think about recovery plans, that was when I was finally able to get sobriety right, I focused on recovery, and healthy choices both physically and emotionally, rather than just not drinking.

Here is a good link to get you started.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

You've got this Nichole!!!❤️

Rar

Don't give up Nicole. I can understand how you feel. I'm on Day 3 after caving and yes, it's very discouraging. Don't give up the fight. I know from the sober days I did string together, that it will be worth it. Big ((CYBER HUGS)) to you.

xxxNICHOLExxx

I gave in again I realize this is a fight I can’t win it gets to the point to where it hurts not to drink I don’t think I’m bad off on drinking but I know it has a hold on me no matter how hard I fight it gets to the point it breaks me down and I have to stop the pain of addiction I love life and I’m so blessed but I can’t live with the pain of the cravings the need of alcohol the physical and mental withdrawals everyone has gave me amazing advice and support and I’m so thankful for it but I think I’m better off dead cause I can’t live my life drinking until I pass out or blackout every single night I’m broken down and hopeless and its getting hard to act like there isn’t a problem around family and friends I’m lost in the dark

Dee74

Hi nichole - I think nearly everyone has those gnawing cravings in the beginning. They're hard to deal with if you haven;t got a plan.

The only things you've tried so far are willpower and SR. There's a lot of more approaches out there,

I know your husband is not that supportive of your recovery but in the end, you have to do whats right for you. If you can;t get to a meeting, maybe online meetings are the way to go.

If you can't get away from the party house maybe you have to have a contingency plan - stay somewhere else, or stay in your room, play with the kids.

I don't think your problems are any greater than anyone else's here. I reckon you can get sober and stay that way if you want to

D

sobersolstice

The thing that's been resonating with me with this life stuff is that we only get ONE... as far as i know.

I don't really have family, or many friends, but still try to be grateful for what I have. Always learning..

Nonsensical

The alcoholic's Catch-22:
I can't live with the pain of the cravings, so I'll drink myself to death.

I remember that feeling. I was thinking about it the day I joined SR and was picking a screen name.

Your brain is lying to you, Nicole. That's what a craving for alcohol is - a big fat lie. My mistake was believing it for as long as I did.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

Verdantia

Hi, Nichole. I am extremely sorry you are feeling so down. I know all too well the pain of addiction and thought I would be better off dead, too--I thought i was unable to stop, hopeless and horrible, destined to drink myself to death. I was very wrong.
I needed a lot of help to quit, and for me that meant inpatient rehab. I was totally resistant to the idea until the point when the decision was pretty much taken out of my hands--I surrendered and am so glad that I did, for in admitting that I needed help I achieved victory. I am rooting for you so much--you can do this, although you don't think so now. I had fallen about as far as one can go but now I have sobriety, happiness and self-respect. You can have them too.

Hercules

I convinced myself i was not an alcolic more times than I can rember it’s part of this illness to be honest. It took me many years to finally admit I was an alcolic then a few more years debating if I should/could quit.

Do yourself a favour and commit to sobrierty now.

Herc.