Two Years To Recover?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Sobersville, USA
Posts: 159
Two Years To Recover?
In my research on alcohol recovery, I read that it could take up to two years to get back to the state of a normal mind.
I thought, no, I can't do that. Two years? It's too much. I can't do it. Who could?
I don't think that anyone's recovery is identical to anyone else's. We're all on our own journeys and there are so many variables.
Me, I was mostly drunk for forty years. I sort of maintained, but I was on a sinking ship. My mind, my body, my entire life was on a downward spiral.
A couple of days ago I celebrated nineteen months of sobriety. It's the longest I've ever gone, and I'm not going back to the life of drinking. Not a sip. Ever, ever again.
As for the two years? For me, I think, two years is more of a minimum amount of time rather than a maximum. Forty years of intoxication? How long do you think it is going to take?
I don't mean to scare anyone. Yes, it's a long road, and one that is filled with peril. It's hard and it often hurts. It hurts the mind, the body, and the soul.
But. But. It's also an incredibly rewarding journey. I'm finding myself. I'm feeling so much better. It's so much easier to focus on the things that really matter. Things like family, my profession, my love of reading.
I love the outdoors, and instead of laying in a pile of hangover on weekend mornings, I am out enjoying the most beautiful part of the day.
I am now married, and I spend time with my wife. I married into a family with grandchildren, and I love them so much.
One big reward of getting sober? At a family gathering, the adults were preparing cocktails. My wife limits herself to one ,and only on special occasions, and I do not begrudge it. A lovely seven year old girl, a granddaughter, sadly stated that the adults were now going to drink. I told her that I wasn't going to, and that I did not drink at all. Her face lit up with a beautiful smile, and she and I played some games while the "grownups" partied.
I could go on and on about things like that. People I haven't seen in a long time remarking on how good I look. Holidays without the crutch of getting drunk. Better sleep. Advancement at my job and much better money. The bosses could tell how much more alert I have been.
So, yeah, two years? Piece of cake. Yes, again, it's been hard, and I get tempted to take a drink, but I'm so much better off, and I was suffering much, much more when I was getting drunk nightly.
Everything in my life is incredibly better. I still want to climb into a bottle after a particularly hard day, but I drink some chamomile tea and it passes. I always wake up happy and grateful that I am back in control of my life.
I thought, no, I can't do that. Two years? It's too much. I can't do it. Who could?
I don't think that anyone's recovery is identical to anyone else's. We're all on our own journeys and there are so many variables.
Me, I was mostly drunk for forty years. I sort of maintained, but I was on a sinking ship. My mind, my body, my entire life was on a downward spiral.
A couple of days ago I celebrated nineteen months of sobriety. It's the longest I've ever gone, and I'm not going back to the life of drinking. Not a sip. Ever, ever again.
As for the two years? For me, I think, two years is more of a minimum amount of time rather than a maximum. Forty years of intoxication? How long do you think it is going to take?
I don't mean to scare anyone. Yes, it's a long road, and one that is filled with peril. It's hard and it often hurts. It hurts the mind, the body, and the soul.
But. But. It's also an incredibly rewarding journey. I'm finding myself. I'm feeling so much better. It's so much easier to focus on the things that really matter. Things like family, my profession, my love of reading.
I love the outdoors, and instead of laying in a pile of hangover on weekend mornings, I am out enjoying the most beautiful part of the day.
I am now married, and I spend time with my wife. I married into a family with grandchildren, and I love them so much.
One big reward of getting sober? At a family gathering, the adults were preparing cocktails. My wife limits herself to one ,and only on special occasions, and I do not begrudge it. A lovely seven year old girl, a granddaughter, sadly stated that the adults were now going to drink. I told her that I wasn't going to, and that I did not drink at all. Her face lit up with a beautiful smile, and she and I played some games while the "grownups" partied.
I could go on and on about things like that. People I haven't seen in a long time remarking on how good I look. Holidays without the crutch of getting drunk. Better sleep. Advancement at my job and much better money. The bosses could tell how much more alert I have been.
So, yeah, two years? Piece of cake. Yes, again, it's been hard, and I get tempted to take a drink, but I'm so much better off, and I was suffering much, much more when I was getting drunk nightly.
Everything in my life is incredibly better. I still want to climb into a bottle after a particularly hard day, but I drink some chamomile tea and it passes. I always wake up happy and grateful that I am back in control of my life.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
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That was a great post, livinginhope! Thank you so much. I'm very happy you've reached 19 mos. of sobriety. Your new life sounds wonderful.
I drank 30 yrs. & never imagined I could live without it. It's incredible that we actually think it's helping us cope - enhancing our life. I felt sorry for myself in the beginning, thinking of all I'd be missing out. I failed to see that I had lost so much by being numb & foggy most of the time. It feels fabulous to be free.
I drank 30 yrs. & never imagined I could live without it. It's incredible that we actually think it's helping us cope - enhancing our life. I felt sorry for myself in the beginning, thinking of all I'd be missing out. I failed to see that I had lost so much by being numb & foggy most of the time. It feels fabulous to be free.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 274
Ditch that concept of normal. Alcoholics, recovered or not, can not be what is generally deemed to be normal. Your wife seems like a great girl, stick with her and your family and do your utmost effort in what is healthy for you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Sobersville, USA
Posts: 159
Yes, I missed the friendships I had with party buddies. I felt like I was missing out. The first two or three months were hard. Especially the weekends. I didn't think I could make it without drinking.
Then, in time, I realized that a weekend had passed without me even thinking of a drink. I stopped missing my friends and I now feel bad for them. I wish and hope they can find the inner peace it takes to break free.
Life is great. Yeah, ups and downs, and in trying times I still have to fight and stay strong. I suppose that may never really go away. But temptations are one thing. Giving in to them is another.
Then, in time, I realized that a weekend had passed without me even thinking of a drink. I stopped missing my friends and I now feel bad for them. I wish and hope they can find the inner peace it takes to break free.
Life is great. Yeah, ups and downs, and in trying times I still have to fight and stay strong. I suppose that may never really go away. But temptations are one thing. Giving in to them is another.
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: uk
Posts: 2,428
Thank you for sharing your uplifting post. Especially lovely about the little girl's face lighting up about you not drinking. Heart warming.
My experience with my brain returning to normal was that it took very much longer than two years.
I see this now with hindsight. At the time, I thought I was recovered after a couples years but the good news is that my brain and mind got better and better as time went on.
All the best to you.
My experience with my brain returning to normal was that it took very much longer than two years.
I see this now with hindsight. At the time, I thought I was recovered after a couples years but the good news is that my brain and mind got better and better as time went on.
All the best to you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
GREAT post thanks!
Then, in time, I realized that a weekend had passed without me even thinking of a drink.
we also come to realize that weekends happen whether we drink or not! whether we participate or not. we are not the center of the universe!!! who knew????
Then, in time, I realized that a weekend had passed without me even thinking of a drink.
we also come to realize that weekends happen whether we drink or not! whether we participate or not. we are not the center of the universe!!! who knew????
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,074
Congrats on 19 months - truely remarkable and if not a miracle. I still have to pinch myself that I am sober, when alcohol rules your life for so so long, to be sober truely is amazing!!!
For me, life has gotten better, I feel much better emotionally and mentally, but even the tough times I now have an alternative coping mechanism which is waaaay better than any drink. This stuff is so worth it if you work it x
For me, life has gotten better, I feel much better emotionally and mentally, but even the tough times I now have an alternative coping mechanism which is waaaay better than any drink. This stuff is so worth it if you work it x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
Hi livinginhope 
Just for the sake of newcomers ...
I think people have read about PAWs (which not everyone gets btw) and they read 'can last for up to 2 years', and they think OMG I have to feel as bad as I do right now for two years?
That's not been my experience
Early recovery is not the best it gets.
There was a constant improvement in me week by week once I stopped drinking.
I felt better after a week or two and then consistently better at 3 months.
I felt pretty secure at 1 year but there were still things improving in me (mainly cognitive things) up until about 5 years - but I had a pretty brain battering last detox.
The point you're making is a good one - it didn't take anywhere near the 20 years it took me to get into this mess to get out of it
Congrats on 19 months!
D
Just for the sake of newcomers ...
I think people have read about PAWs (which not everyone gets btw) and they read 'can last for up to 2 years', and they think OMG I have to feel as bad as I do right now for two years?
That's not been my experience
Early recovery is not the best it gets.
There was a constant improvement in me week by week once I stopped drinking.
I felt better after a week or two and then consistently better at 3 months.
I felt pretty secure at 1 year but there were still things improving in me (mainly cognitive things) up until about 5 years - but I had a pretty brain battering last detox.
The point you're making is a good one - it didn't take anywhere near the 20 years it took me to get into this mess to get out of it
Congrats on 19 months!
D
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Originally Posted by bradly22 
2 years doesn't seem correct. Just based on my own experience, I'd have to say it only took me 4 months to turn into a former alcoholic.
Everyone is different. Some folks never make it out. They go crazy from the brain damage. The anxiety and obsession.
imo...
Every relapse the hole is deeper. I was 8 months clean once, but then I relapsed. In my mind, at the time, I decided I wanted to drink again. Now I understand that the addiction is for life.
It is a lifetime addiction. It will never go away. It is like aids or herpes. It will never be cured.
If I treat myself like an addict for the rest of my life, I have a fighters chance to make it to the end without relapse.
If I forget I am an addict, I am doomed.
Thanks.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Great post- and my journey through 2 yrs (I am now at 26 mo and change) has a lot of similarities to yours.
Also concur with Dee- not everyone has such a protracted healing process per se- but I DO believe that 2 yrs or 10, I will be better and better as long as I don't drink.
Glad to read this thread first thing today!
Also concur with Dee- not everyone has such a protracted healing process per se- but I DO believe that 2 yrs or 10, I will be better and better as long as I don't drink.
Glad to read this thread first thing today!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,908
Just wanted to add my thanks for this awesome post. Have to agree with prior poster about the highlight being what the little girl said (though I guess it’s kind of sad for when grown ups like you are not around). Still, super uplifting and inspiring to those of us earlier in the journey.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Utah
Posts: 46
Yes thank you for your post. It sounds like a lot of us needed that today. I was just sitting here reading, wondering why I still get urges, thinking its not normal to still feel this way. In a few days I'll have a year under my belt. I also drank for 30 plus years, so I shouldn't be surprised it takes so long to recover. Congratulations on 19 months. That's awesome.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Sobersville, USA
Posts: 159
Thank you all so much.
Yes, the eyes of children say so much. I love that little girl and I play with her a lot. I'll be seeing her this afternoon. Hopefully I am showing her that an adult can be fun and happy without drinking.
Today is going to be a beautiful day. We're going to a fundraiser for a beach where endangered birds habitat first thing. Then we're meeting my wife's daughter and her children at a farmer's market event. Agricultural demonstrations, food, activities for the kids, fresh produce. After that my wife and I will come home and enjoy each other's company. We celebrated six months of marriage yesterday. I was still drinking when I met her, and there is no chance whatsoever we would have been married if I had not stopped.
I can do all of that great stuff instead of being physically and spiritually sick from alcohol.
As I said in my post above, it's different for all of us. I had a serious dependency and I saw it get much worse from my forties to my fifties. This is a long journey I am on, and I am sure that it will be part of my life forever. But everything was better from Day One of sobriety, even if I was suffering from massive withdrawal for a few weeks.
Yes, the eyes of children say so much. I love that little girl and I play with her a lot. I'll be seeing her this afternoon. Hopefully I am showing her that an adult can be fun and happy without drinking.
Today is going to be a beautiful day. We're going to a fundraiser for a beach where endangered birds habitat first thing. Then we're meeting my wife's daughter and her children at a farmer's market event. Agricultural demonstrations, food, activities for the kids, fresh produce. After that my wife and I will come home and enjoy each other's company. We celebrated six months of marriage yesterday. I was still drinking when I met her, and there is no chance whatsoever we would have been married if I had not stopped.
I can do all of that great stuff instead of being physically and spiritually sick from alcohol.
As I said in my post above, it's different for all of us. I had a serious dependency and I saw it get much worse from my forties to my fifties. This is a long journey I am on, and I am sure that it will be part of my life forever. But everything was better from Day One of sobriety, even if I was suffering from massive withdrawal for a few weeks.
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