I am done
 

I got my payout paid off the loan sharks got hot water and then wasted the rest on alcohol and smokes. Spent half the day cleaning my bed of vomit. I was sound asleep when that happened. This is a new rock bottom for me. I wasn't even that drunk. My shrink said I will end up in a nursing home because I won't be able to care for myself. This week's pay is gone.. I never learn. Same old story. This is ending now. Eating lollies when I get a craving. Time to go back to AA when I have money for petrol.

Aw Sweeti :hug: Yep I get that.

If all else fails. Call the AA hotline and see if they can help set you up with someone to take you?

Yeah we can choose. I know it's hard believe me. You can do it tho. Stick it out.

Love,
Delz

Hi sweetichick - I'm sorry its' got to this.

You don't want to go out like Bon Scott. Horrible way to die.

I have met ppl in government run nursing homes too - the staff do their best but it's often not a great place for people to be, especially if you're a younger person like us.

That's even assuming you can get in somewhere - you might end up in a hospital somewhere long term.

Do everything you can to stay sober - put all that effort you put towards drinking into not drinking.

you won't be sorry :)

D

If you phone the Hotline as suggested above, it is very likely they can arrange for AA ladies to provide help and transport. If you wait till you have money for petrol, it is likely you will have missed this window of you being willing to quit.

You know what we are like, the memory of vomit or how awful it was fades quickly. The window of willingness seems very small so that is when we need to act.

I expect you know this already but a reminder is sometimes helpful.

Wishing you well.

I am sorry too. Barely managed to wheel the bin out to the front of the townhouse complex. I wait till it's dark so noone stares at me walking so slow.

Sweetichick it sounds like things have gotten pretty bad. Don't let it get even worse. There's been some good advice so far that I hope you'll take. Support to you. ❤❤❤

Call that hotline, get some help.

how about callin your sponsor and asking for a ride to meetings? maybe even call other members for a ride?
meetings are great, but going to meetings and not drinking dont treat alcoholism.
its the steps we take, not the meetings we make, that does.
you could also open your big book and start reading. the chapter "there is a solution would be a great place to start.

ive seen some pretty horrible cases of alcoholism disappear as a result of the steps.
theres quite a few here even.

Hope you can get to the meeting or a rehab Sweetichick. You can choose to end up in that nursing home ( or worse ) or you can choose to get better.

My sponsor wouldn't take me through the steps till I got to 90days. All I heard was that I needed a meeting everydày. I couldn't keep it up. I haven't talked to her since my relapse. Another failed attempt. I have been through 3 sponsors. One didn't have good sobriety and the other was too young. There's a meeting on Saturday which is close by I can make.

It's a good idea to ask other members for a lift. I know two that may help.

you dont necessarily need a sponsor to start working the steps,sweeti.
before meetings were so widespread, people recovered with nothing more than doing that the big book says. they followed the suggestions, recovered and started meetings in their area.
theres no such thing as a sponsor being too young.

I am not great on the higher power thing. I believe in God but it's limited. I believe in common sense and destiny as well. I do believe in guardian angels though.

I'm sorry it's gotten so bad, sweeti. I think it's an excellent idea to call and get a ride to AA. Please get to that meeting on Saturday. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

I’m happy to read you’re trying again to get sober. I wish you the very best of luck, sweetichick!

Thinking of you Sweet. Hope you can put it down.

sweeti, I've heard of GOD described as a Gang Of Drunks. We have that here.

Day 3
 

I didn't think I could go even one day without a couple bottles of wine. Today is my 3rd day, and reading everyone's posts is really helping me refocus. Not sure if I'm ready for an AA meeting; this is a personal struggle for me and I prefer being somewhat incognito in this Forum. Thanks everyone for your posts! I pray I can make it another day without regrets and embarrassing behavior.

I am so sorry to hear things have gotten so bad for you. I really hope you are open to any and all suggestions here and use any resource available to you where you live to get help. Please get help. John

Hi Daily. Glad my thread is helping you.