MantaLady

I was just on my way to bed at the end of a successful Day 3 and my mum called for a chat. She is supportive of my journey to sobriety and knows I am going to rehab in 4 weeks.

She said something that really bothered me, I know she is only trying to help but I can't get it out of my head. I mentioned the AV, that little voice in your head that tries to coax you back to drinking.

She said it was an unhealthy way to think as I am giving my cravings it's a own character and personality and it's not real and I need to learn it is not real.

It's thrown me a bit, I found thinking of the craving this way really helped me and now I am confused.

Anyone had this experience with a family member saying something like this and what did you do?

ProfessorD

I think it's a pretty well-established technique for treating addiction. Tell her it works for you and lots of other recovering alcoholics and those treating them

J50

I too had a problem with the concept of the AV. Quite frankly, I had never heard of it and it kind of freaked me out. Like there was an uncontrollable voice in my head. I look at the AV as the part of the brain where cravings come from, or as an intimate object. It also helps me understand while previous attempts to quit based on willpower were unsuccessful. We have fed our brains alcohol and it has come to expect it. The AV is just the brain wondering where the heck the alcohol went. The bottom line is that it doesn't matter how you look at it, however, as long you positively deal with it.

doggonecarl

Is your mom a recovered alcoholic? If not, take everything she says with a grain of salt. "Real" information about AVRT can be found by googling The Crash Course On AVRT

lessgravity

Is your mom a psychology major? If not, perhaps she should read Carl Jung.

I kid, not giving your mom a hard time.

But a divided self is something that psychologist and thinkers, spiritual and otherwise, have investigated and dealt with for ages.

And yeah, most of all, we can't drink. If I call my AV Quincy Adams and picture him dressing in drag - who cares, as long as I'm not poisoning myself.

Dean1978

My take on the AV is we spend months, years or decades giving our cravings (reasons to drink) a personality through justifying reasons to drink (bad day, grief, divorce,job loss etc), by discussing it in our head, lying to people and ourselves, rationlising reasons to drink. We have trained our brains to expect and want alcohol chemically, physically and emotionally. That cannot disappear overnight, we cant erase those thoughts instantly as humans, if we could, we wouldn't be using this site. The thoughts, urges, and justifying is the AV.

Getting sober (for me) means unravelling the thought process, dependency and associations with drink and replacing them with new, more productive thoughts that dont include alcohol.

MantaLady

Thanks everyone and thanks lessgravity for making me giggle before I head off to bed. All I know is it is working for me and for the first time I feel like I am getting somewhere so like you say, who cares what I call it as long as it helps me not open a bottle that is all that matters.

Night night all xx

Dean1978

Exactly!

Sleep well, here's to another 24 hours

daredevil

I hope you meant inanimate.

Forward12

Unless they are a recovered alcoholic or a professional in addiction, people do not understand alcoholism.
It is human nature to reach out to those closest to us, but unless they've been in your shoes, much of "help" they offer often isn't much at all.

J50

Damn autocorrect! Good catch 😁

AnvilheadII

your mom doesn't have to understand the AV the way you do. it can be one of those areas where you agree to disagree. if it helps YOU stay sober, that is all the validation you need!!! if painting yourself green and standing on your head singing the Star Spangled Banner (or Oh Canada...Row Row Row your boat) keeps you sober, then that's what you do!!!

Dee74

As long as you stay sober people can think what they like

A lot of people find the concept useful, some don't - I've seen success on both paths,

D

SWB

I did tonight as I drove past the packie on the way home from work I said “ AV this where you get out” I didn’t even slow down the car for him. Day four.

goodbyeevan

Rude but I'm sure well meaning comment. My mom went to al anon because my gram is a recovering alocholic. She would never diss on any method I am using to stay sober. What does it matter if I stand on my head and count backwards from 100 as long as it helps me stay sober? I think the AV is a very real thing, especially in the beginning days of my sobriety. But i also believe alcoholism is a brain disease, which sadly many people refuse to even research the idea. I hope your mom can be more supportive in the future when you're vulnerable and sharing this information about your amazing choice and journey of sobriety.

SweatyHands

So here’s the deal... our brains have different parts that do different things. The prefrontal lobe is where our rational thought and cognitive functioning comes from. It’s also the newest part of the brain in our evolution. The oldest part of our brain is what is referred to as the “reptilian brain,” and it’s in charge of reactive processes that keep us alive. It’s great for keeping us safe in a life-threatening situation, but it’s not smart enough to know the difference between physical danger and emotional/environmental stress. So, when we get stressed, anxious, sad, etc. it goes to what it has been trained behaviorally to do. In our cases, it tells us to take a drink. Since the parts of the brain don’t communicate with each other, you could say that the AV is a very real thing. But noticing it means that you are getting better at keeping the self-directive thinking online when you get triggered. Good work!

Nonsensical

Your Mom never spoke to me, therefore I don't think she is real.

MantaLady

Like some of you have pointed out, I know the AV is just the way my brain has been trained by alcohol to work and needs a re-wire! I have rehab in 4 weeks for 60 days where I am hoping to learn about how to re-wire and retrain my brain.

In the meantime it helps to think of the AV as an enemy that is trying to drag me down, thinking this way gives me something to fight against rightly or wrongly. If I think of it as being me I get down on myself and depressed thinking I am a horrible person and not worth saving, fighting myself instead and backing that up by drinking again and the cycle continues.

Once I am in the right and safe environment I can start to look deeper.

Day 4 today and I need to get off the computer for the afternoon, get out into the sunshine and kick some AV a$$!!

Thanks again everyone!

Ghoster18

Love is the only thing that's real apparently everything else just comes and goes!
Problem is our attachment to the things that come and go!!
Freedom exists in the ever present moment
That's all there really is and that moment free of attachment in my experience is authentic essence = Love!!
G

STDragon

There has been alot of enlightment in recent history around mental health, recovery and personal growth that previous generations did not grow up with. Alot of the mindset of older generations is you don't talk about it, you just pull up your socks and go about pretending to be normal. I know there are things in my life that I would never talk to my parents about yet I can discuss at length with close friends. So take into consideration your moms mindset and don't take to heart everything she may say to you.