AV - Fact or Fiction?
Ocean Lover!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Originally Posted by STDragon 
So take into consideration your moms mindset and don't take to heart everything she may say to you.
Hopefully with sobriety I can start to relearn a little emotional intelligence in these situations in future and not take everything so personally.
Last edited by MantaLady; 05-03-2018 at 04:07 AM. Reason: spelling
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 322
Originally Posted by STDragon
There has been alot of enlightment in recent history around mental health, recovery and personal growth that previous generations did not grow up with. Alot of the mindset of older generations is you don't talk about it, you just pull up your socks and go about pretending to be normal.
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,756
Originally Posted by MantaLady
Thanks STDragon, I guess I am still in the early stages and have that selfishness where I think everything is aimed at me or about me or my fault.
Ocean Lover!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
I get what your saying Renavate, I am 45 so not quite a spring chicken haha! I was also brought up by a soldier and having emotional needs or asking for support was just not allowed, I grew up tough but unable to express myself and very intolerant of anyone who showed emotion. My dad was very oldskool and of the "suck it up and get on with it" generation.
It hasn't done him much good, he is an alcoholic too but can't and won't do anything about it even though it is ruining his life. He thinks his emotions are weakness so won't give himself a chance.
My gran who was a total inspiration to me died a few years ago at 93. She had it tough, husband died when my dad and his brother were 4 leaving her alone, my uncle died before he was 30, she never dated or remarried after my grandad passed. She sucked it up and got on with it, she didn't complain. However, we talked when she was about to pass and I realised inside and behind that mask she was desperatly sad and lonely and had been most of her life.
I guess I am saying both generations could learn a lot from each other, neither way is right or wrong
It hasn't done him much good, he is an alcoholic too but can't and won't do anything about it even though it is ruining his life. He thinks his emotions are weakness so won't give himself a chance.
My gran who was a total inspiration to me died a few years ago at 93. She had it tough, husband died when my dad and his brother were 4 leaving her alone, my uncle died before he was 30, she never dated or remarried after my grandad passed. She sucked it up and got on with it, she didn't complain. However, we talked when she was about to pass and I realised inside and behind that mask she was desperatly sad and lonely and had been most of her life.
I guess I am saying both generations could learn a lot from each other, neither way is right or wrong
Last edited by MantaLady; 05-03-2018 at 04:25 AM. Reason: spelling
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,756
Originally Posted by Renvate
And that's what I respect oldies for. So much tougher then us younger "give me some sympathy for my troubles please..now give me more"
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by STDragon
That bit reminded me of how I felt, and how I had expected my wife - my best freind of all - to understand. Oh she supported me 100% but I was slow to learn that we were in different worlds when it came to alchohol.
Love your Othello quote btw.
Thank you for the tread Manta
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 853
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
Is your mom a recovered alcoholic? If not, take everything she says with a grain of salt. "Real" information about AVRT can be found by googling The Crash Course On AVRT
No one hears or understands the AV other than addicts, everyone has the inner voice and inner critic but not everyone has the AV screaming at them trying to kill them 24/7...
I realised quite early on in my journey that as well meaning as some others can be, the vast majority of their opinions are worth less than nothing.
Whatever helps you to stay sober is the right path for you.
Be that AA, AVRT or whatever you find along the way.
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