Going for it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
This thread is amazing. What's even more amazing is that threads like this occur on SR almost every day. Last night I was at an AA meeting. Because of threads like this, I shared about a wonderful on line forum called Sober Recovery. Most folks there had never heard of SR. I got a pretty positive response from the speaker and some other folks in the room.
Go Striver!
Go Striver!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Striver your thought processes do in fact make perfect sense to me and I'm sure many others.
You seem to me to have a healthy understanding of the addiction and the lies you are being told to feed it.
There is a paradoxical safety in the withdrawal period in that you feel too damn poorly and frightened to drink. It buys you some sober time during which planning and putting in a structure of safety is really quite essential.
What do I mean by that?
In my experience addiction will lie in waiting for the slightest little crack in your armour. You know deep down where your vulnerabilities lie. Have plans in place. For me Friday nights when my children were at their dad's were massively risky. I had to take away all of that risk with a bullet-proof plan.
I called them my "emergency measures": petrol in the car, healthy food in the house, pleasant non-alc drinks so that I had no need to go it after 6pm. House arrest maybe but necessary at the time. I was safe. Then a list of things I could do in the event of a massive AV attack:
Drink a pint of water, eat, cry, have a hot shower, post on SR (a lot!), vigorous housework (for you a run - don't take money with you), call my sister......etc
You can't out-clever this thing. It is mostly corrupt and wants you back by any means.
Documentaries on advanced alcoholism help too. There's one on YouTube called "Rain in my Heart" which is a sobering watch (And British so you may identify more)
Another thing I use as essential reference is 51 things you should know about addiction recovery. Google it - a brilliant article.
Sorry I've gone on a bit but just wanted to share ....... xx
You seem to me to have a healthy understanding of the addiction and the lies you are being told to feed it.
There is a paradoxical safety in the withdrawal period in that you feel too damn poorly and frightened to drink. It buys you some sober time during which planning and putting in a structure of safety is really quite essential.
What do I mean by that?
In my experience addiction will lie in waiting for the slightest little crack in your armour. You know deep down where your vulnerabilities lie. Have plans in place. For me Friday nights when my children were at their dad's were massively risky. I had to take away all of that risk with a bullet-proof plan.
I called them my "emergency measures": petrol in the car, healthy food in the house, pleasant non-alc drinks so that I had no need to go it after 6pm. House arrest maybe but necessary at the time. I was safe. Then a list of things I could do in the event of a massive AV attack:
Drink a pint of water, eat, cry, have a hot shower, post on SR (a lot!), vigorous housework (for you a run - don't take money with you), call my sister......etc
You can't out-clever this thing. It is mostly corrupt and wants you back by any means.
Documentaries on advanced alcoholism help too. There's one on YouTube called "Rain in my Heart" which is a sobering watch (And British so you may identify more)
Another thing I use as essential reference is 51 things you should know about addiction recovery. Google it - a brilliant article.
Sorry I've gone on a bit but just wanted to share ....... xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 26
Onto week 2
Today is Day 8 for me. I like counting. It works for me. I have an app that monitors my recovery. I have saved £28, not ingested 2,740 empty calories and gained 18 hours of time I would have been drinking (that's nearly a day).
In a way quantifying it helps me. The thing with drinking is that the reasons many of us do it seem almost unquantifiable. We just drink in the end. Understanding why can be really hard, make the battle seem more difficult perhaps. I know I have spent a lot of time this week doing two things: trying to understand why I drank in the first place and dealing with urges.
One thing I didn't do was look at that app. I just forgot about it. Now I have it reinforces, for me, what I need to focus on. The benefits. The positives. The savings. I will always be an alcoholic, I accept that. But looking back will, I feel just take me back. I need to look forward. What's done is done. But tomorrow isn't.
So today I am grateful for this past week, for enjoying a public holiday sober, for waking up without the usual physical and mental fallout. My AV is always there, chattering at me. I'll let it chatter. But it won't tell me what to do. Today I won't drink. I'll take strength from the unity in numbers on here. From feeling part of a group battle, not a solo fight.
Have a great, alcohol-free day everyone! Striver.
Today is Day 8 for me. I like counting. It works for me. I have an app that monitors my recovery. I have saved £28, not ingested 2,740 empty calories and gained 18 hours of time I would have been drinking (that's nearly a day).
In a way quantifying it helps me. The thing with drinking is that the reasons many of us do it seem almost unquantifiable. We just drink in the end. Understanding why can be really hard, make the battle seem more difficult perhaps. I know I have spent a lot of time this week doing two things: trying to understand why I drank in the first place and dealing with urges.
One thing I didn't do was look at that app. I just forgot about it. Now I have it reinforces, for me, what I need to focus on. The benefits. The positives. The savings. I will always be an alcoholic, I accept that. But looking back will, I feel just take me back. I need to look forward. What's done is done. But tomorrow isn't.
So today I am grateful for this past week, for enjoying a public holiday sober, for waking up without the usual physical and mental fallout. My AV is always there, chattering at me. I'll let it chatter. But it won't tell me what to do. Today I won't drink. I'll take strength from the unity in numbers on here. From feeling part of a group battle, not a solo fight.
Have a great, alcohol-free day everyone! Striver.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Keep up the good work Striver!! I like counting too (and spreadsheets but that is another story) and I have a jar on the mantle piece that I put in the price of the bottle of wine that I chose not to buy each time I get the urge or would normally have bought one. So far on Day 9 I have £71.50 (your post just made me count it 
) When I get to 30 days I am going to treat myself!
Have a great day today Striver!
) When I get to 30 days I am going to treat myself!Have a great day today Striver!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kooskia, Idaho
Posts: 406
I am on day 3 right now and can relate to so much of what you have said. I too look fit and put together on the outside and have been dying on the inside. I have also told myself I deserve to drink after a good workout. I often drink alone because I know I would scare people who know me when they see how much I can put away. And would go on benders for days. I really appreciate your post. Thank you for being here and being so honest and sincere. It gives me hope. We can do this, one day at a time.
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