Schizodoc

Hi,

So I'm on day 10 and I have absolutely no cravings at all.

My history is thus:

I had my first taste of alcohol when I was about eleven... at a new years eve party. I loved the buzz but of course I only started drinking properly when I was 16.

I lived in a small town and there was nothing to do so we'd smoke some weed and drink beer on the weekends. I was really involved with skateboarding at the time and the lifestyle... you know.

When I was eighteen, we went to the pub for a meal and my step-dad bought me a few pints. I then went out with my friends and got absolutely trashed... all normal for an eighteenth.

I started drinking badly back in 2011. Id buy a couple of cans of cider at lunch and drink almost every night.

My mom came to visit me, mind you I was at university so drink culture and all, and noticed my room was full to the brim with empty bottles of wine.

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2008. I didn't want the binmen to think I was a lazy scrounging student whilst they did all the hard work and I was overly paranoid about this so that explains the bottles.

I lost my full time funding and continued to drink during the day through boredom, only ever like a bottle of wine or four cans in the day, mind you. I was just so bored.

I lived in supported accommodation after a few years at my moms, where she controlled my alcohol intake and labelled me as an alcoholic. When I was in supported accommodation I hit my worst point. But I wasn't employed and there was literally nothing to do. At this point I was drinking about twenty five uk units a day. That's 12 and a half beers.

I've always thought I'm just a binge drinker and drank because I literally had nothing else to do but looking back, I don't feel like getting drunk. It only gives me a buzz for an hour and then I have to keep drinking.

I'm on antipsychotics mind you and apparently they reduce the tolerance levels.

I'm on day 10 and am wondering if I'll ever be able to have say, a couple of glasses of wine with a meal.

Was I an alcoholic?

What does everyone think?

ScottFromWI

I think it's very common for an alcoholic to think that they aren't an alcoholic. In fact that's part of the insanity that is addiction - and one of the reasons so many just keep drinking.

How much you drink or how often really isn't a good indicator of whether or not you have a problem with alcohol. Drinking more than you plan on and losing control is one of the biggest red flags there is - and it appears you've experienced that for many years, correct?

It does look like you are trying pretty hard to talk yourself into thinking that you aren't, and that's pretty common too.

What do you think - have you ever been able to have a "couple glasses" of wine.? I know I never could.

Forward12

I think a few questions to ask are can you go 30 days without drinking no problem without cravings?
Can you have just 1-2 drinks and stop without any desire for more?

doggonecarl

Is that diagnosis going to change in the future? I'm thinking not. Neither will being an alcoholic.

Stronger2017

Well done on 10 days👏 Personally, I’d stay sober. I’m 8 months sober and I’m only really now beginning to appreciate how good it is for my mental health. Give it time. Don’t go back.

Hawkeye13

Quitting was relatively easy for me too
It's staying quit that's the real challenge

Dee74

I remember quitting drinking and feeling good again within days. I used that to rationalise my problem wasn't that bad.

Later on, when that rationalisation was no longer possible because it took me weeks to recover I rationalised that because I had no cravings I must not be an alcoholic. This is from a guy who drank all day everyday for several years.

The cravings did return btw.

It's easy to rationalise that we drink for specific reasons - my cerebral palsy for example - or that we're going through a phase or a bad parch, or that there are underlying emotional reasons for our drinking that once removed will allow us to drink normally.

I struggled for years to quit and stay quit , I destoryed relationships, and my health. I wasted many years, and in the end I went looking for a place like SR.

I have no qualms in accepting the alcoholic label, but no matter whether I'm an alcoholic or not, it makes absolute sense to me to not re-invite alcohol into my life.

I'm better without it.

D

ProfessorD

Yes.

Gottalife

This never happens to the average temperate drinker.

There is no past tense to alcoholism. If you were an alcoholic, you are still an alcoholic.

I think I was in your shoes a while back. It took a lot of convincing. Like if alcoholism was a criminal offence, I had enough evidence to convict myself a thousand times over, and I still was not convinced.

After three whole weeks sobriety, brought through attending two AA meetings a week and doing nothing else, I decided to follow an idea I found in the AA Big Book. It says if you dont think you are alcoholic, step over to the nearest bar and try controlled drinking. Have a couple and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. If you are honest with yourself you will soon know the answer.

I went to the bar to have a couple of beers and be home by 6. I got home at 6, just four days later. Just like you, when I started I had to keep going. That finally convinced me. Went back to AA, and gave it all the honesty and willingness I could muster, and made a full recovery.

Caralara144

If your thinking that then I guess you are
I personally don't like the word
But prefer addicted to alcohol...
I definitely was so I ended our relationship

Congratulations on 10 days that's awesome
X

Primativo

Is dependency on alcohol and being an alcoholic the same thing?

Caralara144

Yes it is in my eyes x

wiscsober

Very good thread and posts!

Get off the fence. Admit it if you can’t stop and if you can’t stop, be serious about it because it will kill you.

Seek medical help. Drinking on psych meds: not good.

Welcome to SR. A great place.

b0glerd69

I often felt the way you do but after many months sober I realized, on reflection, that I do have a problem with alcohol. It's been at the root of all the major problems I've faced in my life.

I think the sentence above is worth examining. Most normal drinkers would not entertain drinking all day through boredom. This sounds more like addictive behavior?

Good post and interesting responses. All the best in your recovery.