Embarrasing Admission
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 748
Embarrasing Admission
Just wanted to say that I'm rather dishonest. I have a kind of duel identity on here and I want to come clean so I could start again , be honest with you and hopefully be honest with myself. On hereI've had arguments, I've had posts deleted and I've been suspended.
Anyway the reason I changed my identity was that last year I proudly announced to everyone on here how I'd found the cure for all drinking problems, which was AVRT.
Don't get me wrong, I believed it at the time, it worked, and I proclaimed loudly how I'd found the whole cure for compulsive drinking. I wasn't mucking about - I must have had about 4 months of happy sobriety following its idea. I wasn't coming back here I said, I didn't need any help or advice - I had the solution to it all.
Anyway, when I failed again I felt a bit stupid. I thought I'd come back and start again. So I took a new name - ptarmigan - and wrote the same kind of pointless drunken drivel as I'd done before.
Dee - all seeing - probably saw the connection saying how I always came on here drunk and pointed out that I'd gain so much more if I came on here when I was sober rather than being among the dregs - which is what I always do.
Anyway, this is my declaration. Hopefully I can use the site more wisely this time.
Anyway the reason I changed my identity was that last year I proudly announced to everyone on here how I'd found the cure for all drinking problems, which was AVRT.
Don't get me wrong, I believed it at the time, it worked, and I proclaimed loudly how I'd found the whole cure for compulsive drinking. I wasn't mucking about - I must have had about 4 months of happy sobriety following its idea. I wasn't coming back here I said, I didn't need any help or advice - I had the solution to it all.
Anyway, when I failed again I felt a bit stupid. I thought I'd come back and start again. So I took a new name - ptarmigan - and wrote the same kind of pointless drunken drivel as I'd done before.
Dee - all seeing - probably saw the connection saying how I always came on here drunk and pointed out that I'd gain so much more if I came on here when I was sober rather than being among the dregs - which is what I always do.
Anyway, this is my declaration. Hopefully I can use the site more wisely this time.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back Taplow. To me honesty is the cornerstone of being sober, especially being honest with ourselves. Hope we can help you in your new quest to stay sober, whatever method you choose.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
I posted the following on one of your threads under your last name, still rings true:
I remembered another thread you wrote so I looked it up. You wrote:
"I lie here on a sofa that bears my imprint. Years are going by."
Sure there are horrors and malevolence and brutal tragedies in life. But this sentence made me so sad. It struck a chord with me. It's obvious you want more. It's obvious you don't want to finish you life having led it in "quiet desperation, with your song still inside you..." At least it seems that way to me.
Hope you find some strength and wisdom here.
I remembered another thread you wrote so I looked it up. You wrote:
"I lie here on a sofa that bears my imprint. Years are going by."
Sure there are horrors and malevolence and brutal tragedies in life. But this sentence made me so sad. It struck a chord with me. It's obvious you want more. It's obvious you don't want to finish you life having led it in "quiet desperation, with your song still inside you..." At least it seems that way to me.
Hope you find some strength and wisdom here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hugs to you Taplow.
Progress, never perfection. Long may this retain a refuge for the sick, rather than a showcase for the contented.
Do you have a plan for moving forward?
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
Progress, never perfection. Long may this retain a refuge for the sick, rather than a showcase for the contented.
Do you have a plan for moving forward?
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 748
Thank you. Whever I'm drunk or sober, whether I'm liked or not, I just wanted to be honest about my identity.
On social media, pretending, faking who you are, which is what I was really doing - not in a malicious way, honestly - ruins the integrity of a site.
I don't want two of me, one of me is too much.
On social media, pretending, faking who you are, which is what I was really doing - not in a malicious way, honestly - ruins the integrity of a site.
I don't want two of me, one of me is too much.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1,276
Welcome back, Taplow🙂 I’ve definitely been guilty of thinking I’ve found the silver bullet for my problems or whatever. I’m finding that if I’m a little kinder to myself, I avoid the big highs and the big lows, whilst generally moving in a positive direction. Best of luck man.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I gotta ask, when you say you failed at AVRT, do you mean you didn't follow the plan or program thouroughly, or do you mean that you did follow it and it didn't work for you.
I ask because so many people who say they tried AA and it didn't work for them never really tried the program. Instead they just sat in a few meetings listening to drunkalogues and got bored. It would not have worked for me either if that was all I did.
I ask because so many people who say they tried AA and it didn't work for them never really tried the program. Instead they just sat in a few meetings listening to drunkalogues and got bored. It would not have worked for me either if that was all I did.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,580
Welcome back, Taplow. You had some success with AVRT, why not hop on over to the secular section of the forums and check out the AVRT threads? People will be happy to help you with questions or trying to sort through what to do differently. I appreciate your honesty.
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