Fear and Dread Going Into Day 2
 

I hate the way I feel right now. I began feeling bad nausea yesterday, and it came in waves. Dry wretching. It appears to be easing somewhat.

But what is killed by me right now is the overwhelming anxiety. Some of the worst I have ever had. I think it is a combination of real anxiety about some things going on in my life, and kindling. And I had been drinking heavily over the previous 5-6 days.

It has made getting sleep impossible. In fact, I am exhausted and can hardly keep my eyes open, but I can’t stop all of the fearful and dreadful, obsessive thoughts.

Dear Lord, help me through this. I know it will get better. I hope anyways

Hang in there, Horn 95. You will be fine. This is just the awful feeing you must endure to get back to your normal self. Take it one moment at a time and know that myself and many here have been where you are. I found the anxiety was really the worst but it will pass. Keep posting to fill those moments. You can do it!

You can do it.

It gets better.

So.Much.Better

Hold the thread Horn. Many of us, including yourself I believe, have been there before. It's horrid and brutalizing place but it passes if you ride it out.

You have it in you from what I can tell on SR. Stay strong brother.

Ride it out Horn. You can do this! Stay strong. :grouphug:

I hope you feel better soon. Kindling is real. Last time I went through withdrawal I had some paranoia. That was enough for me to be done with alcohol.

Alcohol induced anxiety is the worst. It will pass, stay strong.

Yep. Last night was one of the worst attempts in my life at trying to get sleep. I laid on the couch all night in a semi-state of dreaming, sometimes sleep, and just laying there with my eyes closed. That sucked!

I'm only on day 3 and I feel a thousand times better than yesterday and a million times better than day 1.

I had exactly what you had. Negative thoughts, crippling anxiety, couldn't sleep. Semi lucid sleeping and then wide awake with paranoia at 4am.

I hated it so much I never want to touch alcohol again and I never will.

I recall feeling like that myself lying in bed at night beeing convinced i was going mad or was going to die of a heart attack praying to god and leaving the lights on like a little kid beeing scared of the dark.
I found the first two nights the worst it will pass!!
Helping me to feel better and more in control was doing little things...Wash my hair tidy up my table take my tablettes etc anything small you can handle to show yourself that you are worth taking care off.
All my best

Feeling better now. I took a hydroxazine (vistaril), and it helped. Anxiety comes and goes. Was able to eat earlier as well. I felt flush a little while ago. I do not want to EVER repeat yesterday and last night”. Ever.

Just an FYI, for many including myself the next step in your "progression" will go from anxiety to panic attacks, irrational fear and feelings of impending doom. Oh the joy!

Horn, I remember those first few days all too well. It's a living hell - and thankfully we never have to revisit it. I wish I'd kept a journal describing what it was like. You're on your way to peace and freedom.

I actually do keep a journal. Been doing it for years. Same old stuff, though. Battling alcohol in some form or fashion for probably 8-9 years.

I am done though.

Stay strong, Horn. You'll get through this. We're here for you. :grouphug:

This is just me,but I used the sleeplessness to be productive in some form/fashion(mind you not on day 2). Journaling is a great release..talk to yourself and video your thoughts/feelings/ideas/ect.. are you in therapy?

Be sure and eat as healthy as you can, and if you can, perhaps avoid caffeine.

Restarting AA tomorrow.

Hit the gym.

Hope tomorrow is a better day bud :)

D