Reaching out
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 5
Reaching out
I am married to a reverend of a church. I have children. My biggest issue with just accepting my husband’s drinking(and smoking) problem is the safety of my kids. I have quit jobs to ensure I am home more. He is such denial and will drive , even with the kids. I have managed to control the car pooling since I quit my last job, but I never know when he will drink again.
He will go months without drinking and then just start again. He always lies. It is more complicated because any real transparency would cause him to lose his job. I am so alone.
He will go months without drinking and then just start again. He always lies. It is more complicated because any real transparency would cause him to lose his job. I am so alone.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Sorry to hear this Exodus. You can seek help for yourself but the situation with him driving drunk with children in the car crosses many lines that you need to deal with directly. He's endangering their lives, and if he's doing it on a regular basis you need to protect them from him. Is his job more important to you than the lives of your children?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: SF Bay Area, CA
Posts: 33,291
Absolutely don't let him drive the kids when he's drunk or high. My mom used to let my dad drive us when he was blotto and it was really, really scary. Don't let him do it, even if he gets mad. Call the police if he tries to drive the kids.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,845
Welcome to SR, Exodus. So glad you found us.
Please make the safety of your children your #1 priority. Nothing (not even a job) is worth endangering your beautiful children.
The loss of a job is nothing compared to the loss of a child.
Please make the safety of your children your #1 priority. Nothing (not even a job) is worth endangering your beautiful children.
The loss of a job is nothing compared to the loss of a child.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
if he does get behind the wheel drunk - call the police.
his hiding the problem (and your own role in keeping it hidden) will stand in the way of his ever recovering.
losing his job pales in comparison to killing your children or others, doesn't it?
Is his job worth risking your lives?
Is his job worth living like this?
Meantime - you might consider leaving to protect yourself and the children.
Being a part of his cover-up and his madness isn't helping....
I'm sorry you find yourself in this position.
his hiding the problem (and your own role in keeping it hidden) will stand in the way of his ever recovering.
losing his job pales in comparison to killing your children or others, doesn't it?
Is his job worth risking your lives?
Is his job worth living like this?
Meantime - you might consider leaving to protect yourself and the children.
Being a part of his cover-up and his madness isn't helping....
I'm sorry you find yourself in this position.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Hi, Exodus--glad you found SR. It's a big, wonderful forum full of inspiration and support for anyone dealing with drug or alcohol addiction, their own or someone else's.
You might find it helpful to check into the "Friends and Family" section of the forum here
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/
to read both the "sticky" section at the very top of the page (kind of a boot camp education for friends and family of alcoholics) as well as the individual threads posted by members who've been in your shoes or are there now.
There is help for you. Hope you keep reading and posting.
You might find it helpful to check into the "Friends and Family" section of the forum here
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/
to read both the "sticky" section at the very top of the page (kind of a boot camp education for friends and family of alcoholics) as well as the individual threads posted by members who've been in your shoes or are there now.
There is help for you. Hope you keep reading and posting.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,447
Hi and Welcome!
I hope that you decide your children's lives are more important than your husband's job. It must be very scary for them.
You might check out AlAnon in your city as a support for yourself.
I hope that you decide your children's lives are more important than your husband's job. It must be very scary for them.
You might check out AlAnon in your city as a support for yourself.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,316
Hi and welcome Exodus
you'll find a lot of support here - and understanding too
You've had some good advice already - I can only add please put your kids' - and your own - well being first.
D
you'll find a lot of support here - and understanding too
You've had some good advice already - I can only add please put your kids' - and your own - well being first.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 5
Driving reply
I agree. That is why I said I quit my job so I can control the car pool, meaning he is never in the position to drive the kids. I do it.
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
Sorry to hear this Exodus. You can seek help for yourself but the situation with him driving drunk with children in the car crosses many lines that you need to deal with directly. He's endangering their lives, and if he's doing it on a regular basis you need to protect them from him. Is his job more important to you than the lives of your children?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 5
Driving
I’m feeling like I write this unclearly. As soon as o realized he was drunk thstvrarly in the day and picking up the kids, I quit my job and I do all the car pool driving’s the kids do not driveveith him while drinking ever!
Originally Posted by Anna
Hi and Welcome!
I hope that you decide your children's lives are more important than your husband's job. It must be very scary for them.
You might check out AlAnon in your city as a support for yourself.
I hope that you decide your children's lives are more important than your husband's job. It must be very scary for them.
You might check out AlAnon in your city as a support for yourself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 5
Driving
[this game sxehyvi daid I quit my job. So I can pick up the kids QUOTE=least;6878754]Welcome to the family. I agree that you should protect your kids and not let him drive them when he's been drinking.[/QUOTE]
I agree that you should protect your kids and not let him drive them when he's been drinking.[/QUOTE]
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
