lessgravity

I have no desire or temptation or thought to drink.

I don't drink. I quit.

However I am going to be around about 30 people tonight at a house party for very good friends celebrating their engagement. They are heavy drinkers and so are the majority of the people coming. Booze will be flowing.

I'm posting to recognize the situation that I will be in, not that I feel any concern about drinking tonight.

I have this site, I have easy access to take a walk in the neighborhood and I have an early gym session planned for tomorrow that I am looking forward to.

Love feeling sober this morning, up before 7am on a Saturday just because I want to be. Should my pos AV pipe up, I remind it of the feeling of calm and strength I have now.

Happy sober Saturday everyone. I hope we all find some peace this weekend.

StellaBlu

Best of luck lessgravity, though sounds like you will be fine.

Hope the party hosting goes well.

Dee74

Some of us really go for the hard way eh less?

I understand that socialising is very important to your wife and that she's not yet totally sold on the idea of you and sobriety - but I hope the road gets easier for you both as time goes on, man.

with you in spirit bud

D

August252015

What Dee said. Frankly, I would not even do this NOW - at 26 mo. There is just no reason to have things like this- that I CHOOSE to host etc- in my life.

That said - it's good you have a plan. A word of caution is one Dee often raises- a relapse can happen after a successful "venture" into drinking territory. A feeling of pride or such can creep in and the "I'm not really that bad" or the like can be an insidious thing that comes in unbidden.

Good luck.

Rar

Good luck, Less. You are sounding strong. You mentioned you want to rebuild your wife's trust, so your sobriety during this event will probably go a long way to that end.

Stay as strong as you sound now. We are here for you. If you find yourself weakening, sneak off and post here first.

joandmelandhan

Whoa I could absolutely not do that even now at almost 9 months in. The risk would just be too great - my home is alcohol free and I plan to keep it that way. My venturing into the world of alcohol is limited to going out to where I know it will be, having a bullet proof plan, a non negotiable escape route and always driving.
You do sound committed and confident LG but I feel compelled to advise strict caution. Tonight and going forward. I don't know about your AV but mine is the sneakiest most devious thing ever. I may beat it on a one-off calculated risky evening but the next day it'd pipe up again. "Ooh Jo you did so well see you're cured!" etc...... and so the merry-go-round continues.....
I'm my head I have a life long condition which requires big changes in order to protect what I have fought so hard for. My freedom and my life back.
I say this as a supportive "friend" but hosting alcohol fuelled events at home are too risky in my eyes. You are saving your life here and for me it involves some big compromises - no in fact scrub that it involves never partaking in things that sometimes I miss.
I hope you see this as support rather than criticism LG.
I'll be thinking of you tonight xxx

August252015

Imma add - we are not serving alcohol at our wedding this Dec. That is how seriously I take my sobriety (and my husband's).

daredevil

You got through New Orleans without drinking, too.
In the weeks following your return, you made up for it.
Precedent can’t be discounted.

lessgravity

Thank you for all the concern and thoughts and support.

I'm just not drinking anymore. Feel steadfast and certain in that. If I had some kind of doubt I could certainly duck this party - fake an illness, just say no etc. But I feel good. I'm not worried.

DD - my jump off the precipice wasn't a "make-up" for my trip to New Orleans. I realize I had been planning my foray back out into the poison for months having nothing to do with that trip or other possible temptations. I had given myself an excuse to drink again with an old friend at sporting event.

I have no excuses now. I've paid enough. I'm sober.

ScottFromWI

That's a tough one Less. You certainly sound confident in your resolve not to drink, but you leave yourself a bit of gray area with that "however" statement in your original post. You likely would not have included that, nor even posted about the party in the first place, if you weren't at least a little bit worried about it, right?

Confidence is good, overconfidence is dangerous. I would never even consider hosting something like this so soon after quitting, bit I'm not you of course. Make sure you are focused on your goal first and foremost.

biminiblue

Yeah, I don't have alcohol in my home. I'm not clear on why you're doing this?

So many things can go wrong due to hosting a boozy party. I agree with everyone about that "next day" phenomenon, too. Be ready for a very active AV in the days/week afterward.

Anna

I feel as others do, LG. I don't have alcohol in my home and never serve it here. I don't go to boozy parties because I don't enjoy them anymore. I hope it goes well for you.

lessgravity

I didn't make this part clear which is that although we are "hosting" it is going to be held at a friend's house - we are just contributing the food and drinks with a few other couples.

Think that might make a big difference to many of you - at least in the respect that tomorrow morning there will be no booze in my house leftover.

The couple we are celebrating are very close friends and I want to be present at the party, I know it would mean a lot for me to be there. Besides being drinkers the people there are intelligent and fun (unlike many of my hometown drinking buddies who are fun but ah perhaps not as let's say erudite). So I know I can hang and not drink and enjoy myself.

Again, if I was struggling with thoughts or urges I could and would find way to perhaps not go at all, or just stop by for a moment.

Think I can identify something in me as well that wants to meet the AV out on the battlefield, in plain view, face to face - if it so chooses. Fact is, I know with utter certainty that I am not drinking tonight.

I take none of the responses as anything but thoughtful and caring and helpful so thank you everybody.

Another sober day lays ahead.

ScottFromWI

There are some more red flags here Less, just being honest with you. First off, the location really doesn't matter to us at all...and you seem to be seeking approval to go vs asking for help. A boozy party is a boozy party whether it's a your house or someone else's.

The other big one is your notion of "facing your AV head on" or somehow testing your resolve. You already know you can do it, so why poke the bear? It's AV talk for sure.

Have you thought of some clear exit strategies if you are asked to provide a toast for example? If you are hosting and providing drinks you will likely be asked to do it. Maybe you should be concentrating on those those types of things so you are ready when you get there.

Numblady

Just want to say I sympathize. I am married to a heavy drinker and for a long time our shared love was boozing and partying. Would there be less temptation if I kicked him or myself out of the home we share with our kids and insisted on an alcohol free home and lifestyle? You bet! Am I ready to do that and do I want to? Heck no. FWIW in the times I am around drinkers (whether in our home or elsewhere) which is every night if you count my hubby I just try and get excited about focusing on listening instead of trying to be funny or smart or whatever. And on food and my best friend, coffee. Anyhow I pass no judgment on what you are doing but want to voice support for staying strong. On a related note, Sunday mornings sober are just as if not more beautiful than sober Saturday mornings imho.

Kdon853

Good luck be well and do something nice for yourself tomorrow.

wastedpotential

I'm with everyone else I don't think this is a great idea.

I'm just over 10 weeks today, a few weeks ago I went out to dinner with one of my buddies it was a family thing with two of his kids, his mom and aunt. He was the only one drinking and I was dedicated to not drinking.

With a room full of drinkers and watching my buddy guzzle down a tall draft my mouth started watering. I kept with my conviction but I have to say it put me in a terrible mood the next couple days with some of my old ****** thinking. I'm convinced it was my av making me miserable for putting it in that situation. If just a simple dinner is that bad, I couldn't imagine going to an actual party at this point.

Snowydelrico

Be careful less’
I would have seen this kind of thing as endangering my life in early recovery.

daredevil

Correct me if I'm wrong, but since your join date in 2013, you've had 6-7 weeks of continuous sobriety. Meeting the AV 'in the battlefield' is a particular indulgence of yours it seems.

Doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result......as they say.....

Caralara144

Good luck tonight
I personally don't have alcohol in my home anymore
Home is my save havan
God bless xx