Desertpalm

Hi everyone,

New here and wanted to check in with you guys....I’ve been drinking heavily since I was about 16 yrs old and finally had the courage to reach out to my family yesterday to be open and honest about my problem.

I have ruined so many relationships and good things in my life because I can not control my anxiety and binge drinking.I feel ashamed, embarrassed and just....the worst I’ve ever felt. I found a meeting tonight and I’m nervous about going because I know I need to. I’m sick of the vicious cycle. I will be seeing my physician this week to have medical help if needed while starting this process.

I just hope there’s hope.

Thanks for listening.

apollo986

Hi Desertpalm-You'll find that abstaining from alcohol will reduce your anxiety dramatically. It's great that you're going to a meeting. You will find plenty of support here on SR.

Look forward to following your progress.

Mike

least

Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

JustTony

Welcome.

I concur that sobriety will eventually reduce your anxiety and panic attacks hugely.

We're here for you

Desertpalm

Thanks for the kind words. What were some of your experiences like when attending meetings for the first time?

Anna

I also began drinking to deal with anxiety and of course, it makes things worse. I still have to manage anxiety on a daily basis, but it's much better without alcohol in the mix.

goodbyeevan

Oh my god, I thought I would die from my anxiety just a few months ago. Started taking benzos to help with the withdrawals. Bad idea! After 50 so days without alcohol, the anxiety is so so so much better. It's still there but easily managed and not the full blown panic attacks i was experiencing. And I flushed the pills.

I love my meetings now. Took quite a few meetings before i picked a sponsor but once I did, my recovery community took off. I got a job doing everything I've ever wanted, due to a connection through my sponsor. I have new friends my age due to AA. I used to spend Sundays in bed, dying from the hangover and withdrawals but now I look forward to my Sunday night meeting. This Sunday is an "eating meeting" to celebrate an old timer who was 28 years! I've already got my dessert planned and can't wait!

I say stick with it. At first I internally rolled my eyes at the prayers and chants and holding hand stuff but now I don't mind it. I'm still not close to everyone but I know eventually these people will be my family.

Much love to you, congrats on taking those first steps. It took me being honest with my mom and gram for me to get here too. Once you have a little accountability, it's much easier to stay looking forward than looking back.

Desertpalm

It seems SO obvious now I’m not sure how I did it for so long, the typical “I Drink because I’m anxious and I’m anxious because I drink”.

I’m also feeling a very heavy guilt right now thinking about how erratic my behavior has been lately which lead me to this “wow I have a problem and need help moment”. I’m feeling like I may have completely pushed some of those I love so far away because of my drinking that there’s no coming back from it.

I suppose it’s a bit normal to feel a bit alienated and alone at the beginning of all this huh?

JustTony

100%

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, desertpalm, and to Day 1.

Very glad you found us.

I commend you on finding a meeting to attend tonight. Face to face support is so important and can be a game-changer; kudos on taking that step and for coming to SR.

Stay close. We care.

Hevyn

I'm glad you joined us, Desertpalm.

I definitely felt disoriented when I first quit - I'd been drinking every day for years. Being here at SR really helped with the empty feeling. Posting & reading made me feel like part of something - and not alone anymore. We're with you.

Rar

Welcome to SR. Read through the forums and posts. SR is keeping me on my sober path. I'm sure SR will help you too.

Dee74

No AA experience to share but I wanted to say welcome to SR desertpalm