I've paid enough
 

Feeling somewhat indignant today towards my AV, this addiction and alcohol in general.

Not feeling despondent or regretful or frustrated that I can't enjoy like a normie.

More I'm flipping the finger at this thing that has taken so much from me and not given me almost anything of value in return. Sure yes there were many a wild and fun time that I had, especially when I was young. But those days are so long ago and the paths that I have walked as a man, dragging this beast along with me, giving it some of my best hours, feeding it, making excuses for it, paying for it, protecting it, hiding it - it's enough.

I've paid enough. I'm not paying anymore.

Exactly.

I read on here in early days, "It's okay to take a peek in the rear-view mirror but don't stare. That's not the direction you're going."


There is a lot to be said for being present in this moment. It's all any of us have, anyway. Rejoicing in the moment is far more pleasant for me than bemoaning my past.

It did take some practice. I really can't afford even one negative thought.

I love this post less. Exactly how I feel. Especially liked the feeding it part...so true
C

That's very descriptive for how you're *not* feeling.
The AV can be very articulate.

Its time to pay yourself with a life of sobriety. Good job.

Suggesting this is how I feel you mean? Not at the moment.

Though I'm sure my AV will come knocking some time very soon.

But I've paid enough.

I understand what you’re saying. I’m not feeling any longing to drink either, but am feeling some frustration at the little things I drank over and all this affliction has taken from me. Part of getting sober I guess.

I like it Less!

To me the AV is a little brat and nothing to be intimidated by.

Tell it to F off and go away.

I know right??

I've come to find that a little bit of indignation toward the whole addictive thing is a bit healthy. Call it ye old 'sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

Let that AV bastard fade into the rear view mirror. You've got some living to do bud.

-B