KG77

I obviously can not do this. I'm still pretty drunk. I just want to be done. My husband refuses to help me. He is just done. It makes me want to give up. I give up. I'm sorry guys. I can't do this. I've been drinking for 2 days. I don't want to keep doing this.... But I keep effing up.

lessgravity

It's brutal, KG, what we do to our selves.

But we really can lose everything. There's just one thing not to do and that's drink.

Hope you can put it down.

Anna

KG, don't give up. You can do this. You will be able to get beyond this and to be the person you want to be.

Midwest1981

it is hard to quit the cycle but you can do it. I hope you get some sleep and start tomorrow on your recovery!

Mandy73

Don't give up! Sometimes our loved ones just need to see us make an effort to help ourselves before they can get on board, especially after many broken promises. I know I've made them. Tomorrow can be a new beginning if you get yourself help and don't drink. Wishing you the best!

least

I hope you will utilize the support here to help you achieve lasting sobriety.

KG77

I guess I have to try inpatient. God knows nothing else has worked. But I don't know if I can get my insurance to approve it. They think I'm just not trying hard enough. Every one thinks I'm not trying. Maybe they're right. If I was trying hard enough I would stop effing up.

Opivotal

KG, you absolutely can do this!

One day at a time. Tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning for you.

ScottFromWI

Only you know if you are truly doing everything you possibly can to quit and stay sober. Are you? It's not easy, in fact its one of the hardest things you will likely every have to do. But it is worth it in the long run.

Why not make a list of things you could do right now to get sober. Make a schedule for the entire day if it helps, and make sure drinking is not one of the options. Get rid of any alcohol that you have and don't buy anymore. Spend time here, go to meetings, see your doctor, pray, exercise, there's a million things to do besides drink. Make plans to do them and you will be surprised how far you can get.

KG77

Since everyone is telling me I'm not trying hard enough I am starting to believe them. If I was trying hard enough I wouldn't still be drinking right? There is no more alcohol in the house... so I guess that's a start.

Dee74

Hey KG - maybe its worth listing all the things you're doing for your recovery right now.

Think about if you're using all those things effectively or not. Also think of some things you haven't tried yet?

It wasn't easy to drink the way I did day after day.
I was very committed.

I decided to give as much to not drinking as I did to drinking.

its got to be worth a shot?

D

daredevil

What other people are telling you is insignificant.
What you tell yourself, is.

Coldfusion

Hi KG!

Have you thought of finding a detox program for a few days? There might be something low- or no-cost in your community.

I couldn't afford rehab, but the few days I spent in detox were enough for me.

JustTony

Been there.

It can be done KG.

You just have to get past Day 1 (24 hours).... minute by minute... fight.

Once you are on Day 2 you can assess all your options.

KG77

I should not say my husband won't help me. That's not fair to him. He helps me by dumping the bottle when he finds it. Like he did today. Other wise I may very well still be drinking. I can't believe this is my life....

DontRemember

What are you trying to do to stop and stay stopped?

Forward12

You can stop this madness as soon as you stop drinking.

Daisybelle

KG my lovely, you so can do this, you can do it with me. Honestly that could be me writing that post. I have exactly the same with my husband, exactly. He found my hidden stash and dumped it too, he's done that too many times. I really do know how bad you feel right now. I'm here on day 21 today, things are still not good with my husband but I am showing him how hard I am trying, it'll take me a long time to build up that trust with him again, the look of disgust and disappointment on his face makes me shrivel inside. Sorry doesn't mean anything to him, he's heard it too many times. I will prove to myself and I will prove to him that I am working on this, I will do it. Please do it with me. You can p.m me at any time, I'd be happy to hear from you. Don't be alone in this, please keep posting, keep working at it. You are worth so much more. Sending you lots of love and a big, gentle hug. xx

joandmelandhan

KG sweetheart we are here to help you through this. I don't think anyone here believed they could get sober. The prison of addiction robs your self belief.
The thing is it doesn't really matter. What matters is today. Only today. Don't drink today. It will be tough I won't lie.
Whatever bit of strength you have left you need right now. Post here every minute if you need to. You are surrounded by people who understand now.
I believe SR saved my life and it can save yours too xxx

KG77

Thank You all. I just feel so hopeless. It's 330 am and I've been up all night. Not drinking, I just couldn't sleep. I have to go to work today since I called out for the last 2 days and drank. If I get fired I don't know what I'll do. This really sucks. I've never wanted to do something and not been able to. I refuse to let this be the first thing I can't do.