In need of some encouragement!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 8
In need of some encouragement!
Hello!
So I'm nearing one month of being completely sober, no drinks, no drugs.
In the first week or two I was on these forums a lot and they really helped.
I managed to go out for a friends birthday night out, and when I got to a point where the feeling of wanting to drink was overpowering, I left. I kind of felt emotional earlier in the night, because one friend asked me how it felt to be sober. I honestly felt like I wanted to cry because I just wanted to shout out, it feels crap! Not because I wanted to be drunk, particularly, but because I wanted to be like them...able to drink a little, have a good time, not black out, wake up with a mild hangover but no self-loathing, you know...what I consider to be 'normal' drinking in your 20s. But I knew I couldn't. So I didn't. And the next day, I was super proud of myself.
However, as I'm getting to the end of this month, I can feel myself wavering. There's a big party club night in a couple of weeks, and it won't be alcohol-fuelled. It would be drugs. Now, the ridiculous thing is, I've started thinking, well hey, you've never blacked out if you JUST take MDMA. Maybe you can go to this club-night, and just take that, and not drink and then...
It's crazy thoughts because as soon as I start doing that again, drink will be just around the corner, and besides, it's not like drugs are good for me, my body, or mind either!?
Does anyone else make these crazy justifications in their head just so they have an excuse to start up again? It's almost like I WANT to hate myself...because I've had a really good month - why am I even thinking I want to start again?!
So I'm nearing one month of being completely sober, no drinks, no drugs.
In the first week or two I was on these forums a lot and they really helped.
I managed to go out for a friends birthday night out, and when I got to a point where the feeling of wanting to drink was overpowering, I left. I kind of felt emotional earlier in the night, because one friend asked me how it felt to be sober. I honestly felt like I wanted to cry because I just wanted to shout out, it feels crap! Not because I wanted to be drunk, particularly, but because I wanted to be like them...able to drink a little, have a good time, not black out, wake up with a mild hangover but no self-loathing, you know...what I consider to be 'normal' drinking in your 20s. But I knew I couldn't. So I didn't. And the next day, I was super proud of myself.
However, as I'm getting to the end of this month, I can feel myself wavering. There's a big party club night in a couple of weeks, and it won't be alcohol-fuelled. It would be drugs. Now, the ridiculous thing is, I've started thinking, well hey, you've never blacked out if you JUST take MDMA. Maybe you can go to this club-night, and just take that, and not drink and then...
It's crazy thoughts because as soon as I start doing that again, drink will be just around the corner, and besides, it's not like drugs are good for me, my body, or mind either!?
Does anyone else make these crazy justifications in their head just so they have an excuse to start up again? It's almost like I WANT to hate myself...because I've had a really good month - why am I even thinking I want to start again?!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Hi Froggle.....You are being so strong! Just think - almost a month and with just a few days more, you'll be in your second month. How fantastic is that?
All those thoughts are your AV talking (even if it is drugs). You don't have to act on them. Just ignore them. It's probably best you don't even go to this big party. As you say, you are wavering.
You've had a super month. Don't throw it all away! Stay strong.
All those thoughts are your AV talking (even if it is drugs). You don't have to act on them. Just ignore them. It's probably best you don't even go to this big party. As you say, you are wavering.
You've had a super month. Don't throw it all away! Stay strong.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi Froggle 
For a while, I stayed away from events where I knew there would be drinking.
I wanted to put clear distance between the person I had been and the person I wanted to become.
Being around drinkers was too much of a temptation for me early on, and it made me feel sorry for myself to be a non drinker.
I'm not suggesting you stay at home and pull the curtains tho. There's a million things we can do that don't need to involve alcohol - movies, picnics, walks, cafes, sports, hobbies - maybe you can interest some of your friends in activities like that?
At one month sober, this is not the best its going to be
After a few months of recovery I started to realise how much better everything was now I was sober.
Nowadays I can go anywhere and do anything - but I still think of that early part of my recovery avoiding tempting situations as a wise investment.
D
For a while, I stayed away from events where I knew there would be drinking.
I wanted to put clear distance between the person I had been and the person I wanted to become.
Being around drinkers was too much of a temptation for me early on, and it made me feel sorry for myself to be a non drinker.
I'm not suggesting you stay at home and pull the curtains tho. There's a million things we can do that don't need to involve alcohol - movies, picnics, walks, cafes, sports, hobbies - maybe you can interest some of your friends in activities like that?
At one month sober, this is not the best its going to be
After a few months of recovery I started to realise how much better everything was now I was sober.
Nowadays I can go anywhere and do anything - but I still think of that early part of my recovery avoiding tempting situations as a wise investment.
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
Originally Posted by froggle 
Hello!
It's crazy thoughts because as soon as I start doing that again, drink will be just around the corner, and besides, it's not like drugs are good for me, my body, or mind either!?
!
It's crazy thoughts because as soon as I start doing that again, drink will be just around the corner, and besides, it's not like drugs are good for me, my body, or mind either!?
!
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