I've paid enough
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
I've paid enough
Feeling somewhat indignant today towards my AV, this addiction and alcohol in general.
Not feeling despondent or regretful or frustrated that I can't enjoy like a normie.
More I'm flipping the finger at this thing that has taken so much from me and not given me almost anything of value in return. Sure yes there were many a wild and fun time that I had, especially when I was young. But those days are so long ago and the paths that I have walked as a man, dragging this beast along with me, giving it some of my best hours, feeding it, making excuses for it, paying for it, protecting it, hiding it - it's enough.
I've paid enough. I'm not paying anymore.
Not feeling despondent or regretful or frustrated that I can't enjoy like a normie.
More I'm flipping the finger at this thing that has taken so much from me and not given me almost anything of value in return. Sure yes there were many a wild and fun time that I had, especially when I was young. But those days are so long ago and the paths that I have walked as a man, dragging this beast along with me, giving it some of my best hours, feeding it, making excuses for it, paying for it, protecting it, hiding it - it's enough.
I've paid enough. I'm not paying anymore.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Exactly.
I read on here in early days, "It's okay to take a peek in the rear-view mirror but don't stare. That's not the direction you're going."
There is a lot to be said for being present in this moment. It's all any of us have, anyway. Rejoicing in the moment is far more pleasant for me than bemoaning my past.
It did take some practice. I really can't afford even one negative thought.
I read on here in early days, "It's okay to take a peek in the rear-view mirror but don't stare. That's not the direction you're going."
There is a lot to be said for being present in this moment. It's all any of us have, anyway. Rejoicing in the moment is far more pleasant for me than bemoaning my past.
It did take some practice. I really can't afford even one negative thought.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by daredevil 
That's very descriptive for how you're *not* feeling.
The AV can be very articulate.
The AV can be very articulate.
Though I'm sure my AV will come knocking some time very soon.
But I've paid enough.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
I know right??
I've come to find that a little bit of indignation toward the whole addictive thing is a bit healthy. Call it ye old 'sick and tired of being sick and tired.'
Let that AV bastard fade into the rear view mirror. You've got some living to do bud.
-B
I've come to find that a little bit of indignation toward the whole addictive thing is a bit healthy. Call it ye old 'sick and tired of being sick and tired.'
Let that AV bastard fade into the rear view mirror. You've got some living to do bud.
-B
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