I wonder if I am a sociopath.
 

When actively drinking, I certainly exhibit sociopathic behaviours. Last 15 years I have been a 'sociopath'. But before alcohol took over, I was not showing these behaviours. I am 41 now. Any sociopaths out there to fill me in??

I would suggest that drinking is the problem. And if you do have psychological issues going on, the first step to diagnosing them and treating them will be to stop drinking. It's quite common for your addiction to try and flip the tables and blame some other condition for your drinking, but at the end of the day it's actually the opposite.

I would also suggest you consult with a therapist or counselor if you truly feel you have psychological issues going on.

In a past life I was pretty crazy, not sure if I was sociopathic but I know I had no filters and no brakes when I got going. I eventually left that life and simply wanted to be a productive citizen. I wanted to contribute something positive to society. Not sure if that helps.

WL, I think you have too much remorse for your actions to qualify as a Sociopath.

What might actually turn things around for you is to do something really drastic like get into a long-term service-based rehab and get out of your current life,
which apparently affords you enough time and money to destroy yourself systematically.

I don't mean that unkindly, but I've read your posts for years, and it seems like you simply have too much time to ruminate and that isn't working for you.

You're an intelligent, capable person who is literally flushing away the many gifts you have.
At some point the physical self will give way, or you'll get so far down the rabbit hole of drink your lucid moments of realizing what you're doing will stop.

Please take action to take care of you before then.
You deserve so much more from life.

Sociopaths are sociopathic when sober too.

Never try to diagnose yourself. Seek professional help.

following quite a few of your threads id say the major problem is that you have untreated alcoholism.

I wonder. Never been called one by anyone I know. But I do have remorse. I feel guilt and shame. I can't explain some of my actions though. It could be related to ADHD which I am diagnosed with already

I had a relationship with a sociopath (officially diagnosed) for ten years. Sociopaths do not feel remorse, guilt, or shame for anything. Anything. They also don't care about contributing positively to the community or anything else, unless it is a direct benefit to them or makes them look good in some way. They have no empathy and cannot understand "feelings". A lot of people behave differently when drinking, myself included. It doesn't mean you're a sociopath, IMO.

I'm not sure sociopaths ever wonder whether they are sociopaths....

I am, however, sure that alcoholics and addicts spent inordinate amounts of time thinking about and focusing on just about anything except recovery from alcohoism and addiction, and that can certainly contribute to both 'sociopathic' behavior and excessive 'wondering'.

:grouphug:

It has been my experience that active alcoholism can mimic any number of mental illnesses.

I truly believe that a person cannot be accurately assessed until they have been sober for at least 90 days. Alcohol causes brain changes and brain damage. Heck addiction is a mental illness in and of itself. I mean, how many come on here and say they have depression and anxiety....only to sober up for a time and say, hey, I feel much better?

Get and stay sober. See what happens.

Would also like to add . . . most sociopaths don't sit around wondering if they are sociopaths. Because they literally do not care.

Agree with the comments above, esp from Scott and Frick.

I certainly displayed anti-social behaviors, and was possibly at times mimicking sociopathic ones. I was officially dx with BPD - to a TEE. And...when I quit drinking, ALL of those behaviors went away. I have a maintenance med for evenness, basically, because my underlying personality can have highs and lows characteristic of Bi Polar and BPD - and an excellent pysch who monitors my meds and any accurate diagnoses in sobriety.

Quitting alcohol completely was the key- IS the key- to emotional, mental and physical health. Period.

I have been rehab. Where I met with a psycologist and psychiatrist. They did not mention any sociopathic tendencies. I was completely sober for 2 months when I went in. Adhd was my diagnosis with social anxiety. But dI can be so manipulative. Don't realize it. I do lie to people I know, but that usually those type of lies to 'hide' my drinking and related stuff. Lie about a job I have when I am at a bar instead. Addiction is number one. I often can't keep track of the stuff I have said/done. Different story every time. Not to hurt people but mainly to keep up a facade. I had a therapist for 2 years. She would never say I was remotely a sociopath, but I held back details about still drinking. I didn't want to dissapoint her. Lied to my doctor about being sober and abusing adhd meds he prescribed. Didn't want to dissapoint him either and probably wanted to keep getting Adderall.

The Adderall is not really the problem. I won't be taking that type of med anymore. Alcohol is the problem.

now that that has been admitted, time to move onto solutions,eh?

So what about dealing with the alcoholism and trying a long-term recovery program?

I'm not sure sociopaths worry about being sociopaths :)

My mental health was not good after years of drinking, but things got better after a month or two of not drinking :)

D