sonny0638

My ex is an addict, I believe opiates and cocaine. Anyways, what I need help understanding is why he is saying horrible things about me. Telling people that I am crazy, that he thinks I'm nuts and he wants me to stay away from him. That I'm a stalker. That he told me that all he ever wanted to be was friends, but I couldn't get it through my head, that a couple weeks ago I went to his place and I was strung out. Then he texted me a long text this evening. He said that I really need to get some help, that I am crazy, that he told me he would pay me back all the money he owes me, that I showed up to his house all strung out (never did drugs a day in my life) I need to be honest with myself that I need help, that he's done with my crazy crap. He don't want me to respond. It literally broke my heart even worse than it was. Why is he doing this? Why is he talking so poorly about me behind my back? When all I did was be good to him and help him? Thank you so much

FreeOwl

If he is an addict, there’s your answer.

Don’t try to make sense of it, because it doesn’t.

Sounds like a good thing he’s your EX.

Time to move on and not worry about what an addict says or thinks about you.

D122y

Sonny,

Imo...active addicts are deeply brain afflicted/damaged. Healing addicts...like me...are at least aware they have some residual lifetime damage.

I keep separated from actives these days. There is only trouble to be found eventually. Actives are generally inconsistent and preoccupied.

Separation is my go to move.

Thanks.

Rar

Well, as FreeOwl and D122 point out, he's an addict. Addicts do all sorts of crazy, hurtful things, many times to the ones they care about the most. I would stay away from him and move on. Wait for the court to resolve your claim with him. You don't need this hurtful drama in your life. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

Hawkeye13

Sounds like he's trying to build a "case" that he doesn't owe you money.

I suspect whole thing stems from being served the small claims paperwork.

I assume you have documentation for the money you loaned?
Just make sure that it is in a safe place with back-up copies to lawyer.

My suggestion is block him and wait for your court date.

tomsteve

he wants me to stay away from him.
grant him his wish for yourself.

Why is he doing this? Why is he talking so poorly about me behind my back?

i think a major reason, which i hope is enough, and been answered. active addiction( and it can even occur when an addict/alkie has just dried out) can do that to people. its a defense mechanism to not have to take responsibility for the addicts/alkies own actions.


people dont have to be on drugs to act strung out. ive proven that a time or 2.

youre very fortunate it was only 7 months. you may want to start lookin at why, in just 7 months, you seem to have gotten pretty deep with an addict.

we have 2 great sub forums here- F&F of substance abusers
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...tance-abusers/
with a great sticky at the top
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ddicts-do.html (What Addicts Do)

and F&F of alcoholics
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/

with more great stickies and lots of great experience and support for you .

atalose

Besides the fact he’s an addict doing what addicts do, none of which ever makes “common or normal” sense is turning the whole things around on you. If he can blame you, make you out to be the crazy one then no one is looking at him for those same reasons.

Manipulation is one of the best tools an addict uses. And if the people he is telling this crap to actually believe it then they are not your friends. They are people who don’t even know you so who cares what he’s telling them.

Don’t react to the drama, don’t allow yourself to get sucked in because when you react to crazy you become crazy.

Nowsthetime

Block him everywhere, run and never look back. Then celebrate your new life without this baggage.

And don’t worry... karma is REAL!

tekink

addicts lie about everything. They've been lying to themselves so long they don't even know the difference. Addicts don't like to part with money unless it's going to a fix, coming down is sickness and that needs to be avoided at all costs, especially if opioids are concerned.

teatreeoil007

Addiction, including cocaine....is expensive. So, the money issue is probably driving a lot of his behaviors. Cocaine is a VERY expensive habit to maintain. Educate yourself about addiction as much as you can...and I think you'll find some answers to your dilemma.

At any rate, YOU know whether or not you are really crazy. So tell yourself it doesn't matter what he says. And, like someone else wrote before: People who believe the lies he's telling aren't your true friends.

sonny0638

Thank you everyone. I appreciate your kinds words and your advice. I pray that everyone is having an epic day. xoxo

teatreeoil007

Not having a totally "epic" day...but there have been epic moments, like a great workout on the bike with tons of sweat flowing and reading a good book.....was hard to get into at first, but now I can hardly put it down it's so intriguing....I hope your day is good and sober. Keep us posted. We're here for you sonny.