New here... First time ever telling my story
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 68
New here... First time ever telling my story
Hello everyone!
I’m very excited to have found this group. Everyone seems so supportive. I am very embarrassed about my story and have never told anyone about it. I have been suffering in silence for about 3 years. I’m sorry in advance if this post is too long...
Ok, so here it goes. I started bartending 5 years ago (I no longer bartend for obvious reasons) and as you can imagine, after work all of my coworkers would go out and we would get hammered. It all started out fun and then I started becoming dependent on alcohol. Before I started working there I was in the best shape of my life. Then, it started to get so bad I was starting to drink on the job. I couldn’t function without alcohol or I would have really bad withdrawals. But I was a “functioning alcoholic” meaning as long as I had the right level of booze in me and I wasn’t shaking when pouring a drink for someone then I could do my job.
Then it progressed even more... I started buying vodka and hiding the bottles in my closet so my husband wouldn’t find them. I was drinking up to 2.5 HANDLES... yes, HANDLES a week. I was always worried I wouldn’t have enough vodka on the days he would be home in fear I would have a seizure so I would always stock up. I had been sent to the ER about 2 years ago from what I believe was a seizure but had no idea what it was and it scared the hell out of me. 2 weeks ago I went to the ER again... this time it was even worse. I had been diagnosed with extreme liver damage. The doctor said if I don’t stop drinking now then I have 1-3 years to live. He said it’s worse than cancer but we can fix it. I have been bedridden for the past 2 weeks because of the pain but am starting to feel better. He gave me medication to help with cravings and withdrawals.
I am only 5 days sober... I know that sounds like nothing but to me it’s a huge accomplishment considering the way I had been drinking. It’s nice not to wake up with a hangover or the uncontrollable shakes every morning. The only problem I have been having now is I have some tingling and numbness in my feet. I notice it mostly at night... has anyone else experienced this? Also my tummy bloat. I have drank nothing but gallons of water... I feel like my face bloat has already gone down significantly but my stomach feels bigger than ever and I have always been a pretty thin girl and a very self-conscious person so this worries me. I thought the bloating would be shrinking by now. Is this normal? Am I being too impatient thinking it should be happening already? Any advice will help.
Anyways, if you made it to the end of my novel I really appreciate you taking the time to read it. It feels good to get this off of my chest. I have been suffering in silence for so long it’s nice to know I can reach out online without judgement.
Hope you all have a great day!
I’m very excited to have found this group. Everyone seems so supportive. I am very embarrassed about my story and have never told anyone about it. I have been suffering in silence for about 3 years. I’m sorry in advance if this post is too long...
Ok, so here it goes. I started bartending 5 years ago (I no longer bartend for obvious reasons) and as you can imagine, after work all of my coworkers would go out and we would get hammered. It all started out fun and then I started becoming dependent on alcohol. Before I started working there I was in the best shape of my life. Then, it started to get so bad I was starting to drink on the job. I couldn’t function without alcohol or I would have really bad withdrawals. But I was a “functioning alcoholic” meaning as long as I had the right level of booze in me and I wasn’t shaking when pouring a drink for someone then I could do my job.
Then it progressed even more... I started buying vodka and hiding the bottles in my closet so my husband wouldn’t find them. I was drinking up to 2.5 HANDLES... yes, HANDLES a week. I was always worried I wouldn’t have enough vodka on the days he would be home in fear I would have a seizure so I would always stock up. I had been sent to the ER about 2 years ago from what I believe was a seizure but had no idea what it was and it scared the hell out of me. 2 weeks ago I went to the ER again... this time it was even worse. I had been diagnosed with extreme liver damage. The doctor said if I don’t stop drinking now then I have 1-3 years to live. He said it’s worse than cancer but we can fix it. I have been bedridden for the past 2 weeks because of the pain but am starting to feel better. He gave me medication to help with cravings and withdrawals.
I am only 5 days sober... I know that sounds like nothing but to me it’s a huge accomplishment considering the way I had been drinking. It’s nice not to wake up with a hangover or the uncontrollable shakes every morning. The only problem I have been having now is I have some tingling and numbness in my feet. I notice it mostly at night... has anyone else experienced this? Also my tummy bloat. I have drank nothing but gallons of water... I feel like my face bloat has already gone down significantly but my stomach feels bigger than ever and I have always been a pretty thin girl and a very self-conscious person so this worries me. I thought the bloating would be shrinking by now. Is this normal? Am I being too impatient thinking it should be happening already? Any advice will help.
Anyways, if you made it to the end of my novel I really appreciate you taking the time to read it. It feels good to get this off of my chest. I have been suffering in silence for so long it’s nice to know I can reach out online without judgement.
Hope you all have a great day!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 604
Dearsobriety, welcome to SR! So sorry you are having a hard time detoxing, I hope you have a Dr or clinic monitoring your progress. The liver can only filter so much, give it time to readjust and get healthier. Eat healthy, watch the processed foods (fast food, greasy fried foods, processed meat) as they are very hard for the liver to manage. The bloating should start to subside in time, everyone is different. Medicos know best and can run tests as needed. A suggestion is to journal your detox so you can look back and see your own progress. Take selfies and see how your face, body is responding for your own reference (you'll really like your face in about three months!) Take care of yourself. Sounds like you are headed down the right path. Alcohol is very scary and ruins many lives. Hopefully you will regain your health and beauty along your journey!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,246
Welcome to SR. Sorry to hear about your health troubles. Might be best to ask the doctors about the symptoms you are having.....in early recovery the body is healing and it can takes months to settle down. Take it one day at a time. And congratulations on 5 days!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Hi dearsobriety! It sounds like you got out of this nightmare just in time. The symptoms will work themselves out (I had bloating in my stomach which went away after a few weeks), but the most important thing is to have a plan to manage your sobriety, because even though your horrible feelings about alcohol seem so clear now, they will fade. You're in the right place for sure!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,522
It's so good to have you join us, dearsobriety. I'm so thankful you are healing & now have 5 days sober.
I had numbness, & all sorts of odd aches & pains for a couple months after I quit. We've put our bodies through so much - it takes time to heal. I think being here will really help - we all understand what you're going through, like no one else can. You're doing great - congratulations.
I had numbness, & all sorts of odd aches & pains for a couple months after I quit. We've put our bodies through so much - it takes time to heal. I think being here will really help - we all understand what you're going through, like no one else can. You're doing great - congratulations.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
5 days isn't nothing..... it is as magnificent as 5 years.
And guess what?
If you can make it 5 days - you can make it 5 years.
And it just gets better and better.
You can do this!
Welcome
(Thank you for sharing your story and helping ME with the gift of a reminder that helps me reaffirm my choice to live sober as the RIGHT CHOICE)
And guess what?
If you can make it 5 days - you can make it 5 years.
And it just gets better and better.
You can do this!
Welcome
(Thank you for sharing your story and helping ME with the gift of a reminder that helps me reaffirm my choice to live sober as the RIGHT CHOICE)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 68
Wow! You are all so amazing! Thank you so much for your kind words, advice and encouragement. I already feel so welcome and I feel like a huge brick has been taken off my back by just being able to be completely honest with my story and stop being in denial about my drinking. Thank you for the reassurance that I am not alone in this. I already feel like I have a whole new family ❤️ I’m so glad I came here for support... it’s just what I needed!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 132
I just want to give you a big hug....
Been there done the same- hang in there, I'm in your're corner. Let your body relax, don't over think...just know (trust me) it will be better.
Your numbness is due to withdrawal. Take some magnesium & potassium supplements (as well as B) .
Stay strong...best to you.
Been there done the same- hang in there, I'm in your're corner. Let your body relax, don't over think...just know (trust me) it will be better.
Your numbness is due to withdrawal. Take some magnesium & potassium supplements (as well as B) .
Stay strong...best to you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 171
Dearsobriety,
This is amazing, congratulations on your first 5 days. Your story is a lot like mine. I had a lot of nerve damage - feelings like pins and needles but bigger (knives and daggers?) in my lower legs that felt very bad at night. I also had initial bloating but it went away really quickly, in the first couple of weeks. My tummy is flatter than it has been in years now. The nerve stuff took a lot longer. Be patient. Our bodies can heal but it isn't an overnight process. If you are like me, you'll be pretty grouchy in the coming weeks, but all of that is better than the feeling of panic you have when you think you're going to run out of vodka. God I don't miss that. Knowing exactly what time each bottle shop within a 1km radius closes - making sure to save some for the morning when I wake up or I'll be hanging.
Now I'm free of that, and so are you.
Keep on going - you can totally do this.
This is amazing, congratulations on your first 5 days. Your story is a lot like mine. I had a lot of nerve damage - feelings like pins and needles but bigger (knives and daggers?) in my lower legs that felt very bad at night. I also had initial bloating but it went away really quickly, in the first couple of weeks. My tummy is flatter than it has been in years now. The nerve stuff took a lot longer. Be patient. Our bodies can heal but it isn't an overnight process. If you are like me, you'll be pretty grouchy in the coming weeks, but all of that is better than the feeling of panic you have when you think you're going to run out of vodka. God I don't miss that. Knowing exactly what time each bottle shop within a 1km radius closes - making sure to save some for the morning when I wake up or I'll be hanging.
Now I'm free of that, and so are you.
Keep on going - you can totally do this.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,854
Welcome to SR, dear sobriety, and well done on five sober days.
Be patient with your body as it heals. Listen to the signals that your body gives you; rest when tired, eat something healthy when hungry, stayed well hydrated with water, get some fresh air each day.
Stay close with your doctor and discuss any concerns.
So glad you found us.
Be patient with your body as it heals. Listen to the signals that your body gives you; rest when tired, eat something healthy when hungry, stayed well hydrated with water, get some fresh air each day.
Stay close with your doctor and discuss any concerns.
So glad you found us.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 68
Originally Posted by BreezyFe 
I just want to give you a big hug....
Been there done the same- hang in there, I'm in your're corner. Let your body relax, don't over think...just know (trust me) it will be better.
Your numbness is due to withdrawal. Take some magnesium & potassium supplements (as well as B) .
Stay strong...best to you.
Been there done the same- hang in there, I'm in your're corner. Let your body relax, don't over think...just know (trust me) it will be better.
Your numbness is due to withdrawal. Take some magnesium & potassium supplements (as well as B) .
Stay strong...best to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 68
Originally Posted by Kachal
Dearsobriety,
This is amazing, congratulations on your first 5 days. Your story is a lot like mine. I had a lot of nerve damage - feelings like pins and needles but bigger (knives and daggers?) in my lower legs that felt very bad at night. I also had initial bloating but it went away really quickly, in the first couple of weeks. My tummy is flatter than it has been in years now. The nerve stuff took a lot longer. Be patient. Our bodies can heal but it isn't an overnight process. If you are like me, you'll be pretty grouchy in the coming weeks, but all of that is better than the feeling of panic you have when you think you're going to run out of vodka. God I don't miss that. Knowing exactly what time each bottle shop within a 1km radius closes - making sure to save some for the morning when I wake up or I'll be hanging.
Now I'm free of that, and so are you.
Keep on going - you can totally do this.
This is amazing, congratulations on your first 5 days. Your story is a lot like mine. I had a lot of nerve damage - feelings like pins and needles but bigger (knives and daggers?) in my lower legs that felt very bad at night. I also had initial bloating but it went away really quickly, in the first couple of weeks. My tummy is flatter than it has been in years now. The nerve stuff took a lot longer. Be patient. Our bodies can heal but it isn't an overnight process. If you are like me, you'll be pretty grouchy in the coming weeks, but all of that is better than the feeling of panic you have when you think you're going to run out of vodka. God I don't miss that. Knowing exactly what time each bottle shop within a 1km radius closes - making sure to save some for the morning when I wake up or I'll be hanging.
Now I'm free of that, and so are you.
Keep on going - you can totally do this.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 753
5 days only ..that’s a lot ! Well done,it takes courage to get through these so pat yourself on the back !
Patience is key ..you didn’t make yourself ill and bloated over night ..it takes time to get your system back in check but the body is a pretty miraculous thing :-)
Patience is key ..you didn’t make yourself ill and bloated over night ..it takes time to get your system back in check but the body is a pretty miraculous thing :-)
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
