Wiped out
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 222
Wiped out
I’m done in. Continuing in this pattern will certainly end in me dead. It may be 1 year or 20. But on that timeline, continuing the way I am, I will be dead. No more Stewy. No more chances, no more opportunities. My old relationship was absolutely littered with problems- a lot of them caused by my drinking and then addiction to junk foods. Some of it caused by my girlfriend not being a good match for me and behaving poorly too. One of the things the beer is trying to make me believe is that it was all me, all my fault. Well it wasn’t, outside of drinking, I’m not an unreasonable person, I consider myself fair and honest and the girl I’m with can be sure I’ll take care of her and love her as much as I possibly can. There are two sides to this story. The reality is though. The relationship breakdown is not the problem. It is my reaction to it, drinking at it, that’ll keep me buried for years to come if I let it.
I don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve lost my confidence in the ability to tackle this problem. I’ve been to meetings, I’ve been reading here left right and centre. I know I have a huge huge problem with this. It’s quite simple though. No drink equals Stewy in recovery- working hard on himself. Any drinking equals zero quality of life and only misery ahead.
I have a job opportunity on Friday next week (which is my birthday) it is a big promotion. Choose wallowing over a broken relationship and the addiction that drive the knife through it, or choose my job chance, my family, my daughter, someone better coming along for me to have fun with.
I don’t know where to start with all of this but I know I need to. I know that this is the pits. I know that I deserve more in my life than being a slave to a can of filth and poison. No one but me knows what happened in my old relationship from my perspective. I truly believe that even in my semi drunken state, I knew she was the wrong person, causing stress and upset. There’s always 2 sides to the story.
Anyway, wanted to post, don’t have the solutions right now. One that comes up for me is stop- or die
I don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve lost my confidence in the ability to tackle this problem. I’ve been to meetings, I’ve been reading here left right and centre. I know I have a huge huge problem with this. It’s quite simple though. No drink equals Stewy in recovery- working hard on himself. Any drinking equals zero quality of life and only misery ahead.
I have a job opportunity on Friday next week (which is my birthday) it is a big promotion. Choose wallowing over a broken relationship and the addiction that drive the knife through it, or choose my job chance, my family, my daughter, someone better coming along for me to have fun with.
I don’t know where to start with all of this but I know I need to. I know that this is the pits. I know that I deserve more in my life than being a slave to a can of filth and poison. No one but me knows what happened in my old relationship from my perspective. I truly believe that even in my semi drunken state, I knew she was the wrong person, causing stress and upset. There’s always 2 sides to the story.
Anyway, wanted to post, don’t have the solutions right now. One that comes up for me is stop- or die
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Get to work on sobriety.. I did/do it daily and so can you,but it takes work..work at 'growing up' and owning/facing your stuff without temporarily numbing the pain with booze/drugs..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qlJlqlfvuw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qlJlqlfvuw
The road goes on forever
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,107
Originally Posted by Stew1984 
I don’t know what to do anymore,
I don’t know where to start with all of this but I know I need to.,
C'mon, you surely know what to do........
you know where to start....
If it has not sunk in ... Try re-reading the huge amount of support and advice you have already received in many threads you started prior to this one.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
More talk Stewy. You know exactly what to do and how to do it. You just won't do it.
It's pretty patronizing to be honest for you to continually come here and say you "I don't know what to do" . I know its probably because you are drunk or hungover, but I'm not really sure what you expect people to say when you just keep rambling on the same message over and over.
You know what to do because you've done it before, and you've been told literally thousands of times. You simply refuse to do it.
And yes - we get it - we've been there. But many of the people here have also broken free and quit. You can too - but only you can make the necessary change.
It's pretty patronizing to be honest for you to continually come here and say you "I don't know what to do" . I know its probably because you are drunk or hungover, but I'm not really sure what you expect people to say when you just keep rambling on the same message over and over.
You know what to do because you've done it before, and you've been told literally thousands of times. You simply refuse to do it.
And yes - we get it - we've been there. But many of the people here have also broken free and quit. You can too - but only you can make the necessary change.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
Originally Posted by Stew1984
I don’t know where to start with all of this but I know I need to.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
Anyway, wanted to post, don’t have the solutions right now. One that comes up for me is stop- or die
seriously stew? you can't think of a single solution??
you say meetings didn't work. you are right, simply attending 2 or 3 meetings of anything is not a solution.....working the program with all that you have IS.
reading a bit here and there on various methods is also not a solution. one has to put the plan into ACTION, visible, demonstrable, daily ACTION.
you go from bemoaning a dead relationship while drunk, to changing the narrative that well, SHE wasn't really all that anyways, once you get some sober hours in ya. and thus continue to give yourself permission to drink over it.....two years later. but it's just an excuse.....
seriously stew? you can't think of a single solution??
you say meetings didn't work. you are right, simply attending 2 or 3 meetings of anything is not a solution.....working the program with all that you have IS.
reading a bit here and there on various methods is also not a solution. one has to put the plan into ACTION, visible, demonstrable, daily ACTION.
you go from bemoaning a dead relationship while drunk, to changing the narrative that well, SHE wasn't really all that anyways, once you get some sober hours in ya. and thus continue to give yourself permission to drink over it.....two years later. but it's just an excuse.....
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
When I prayed to get sober, life (or something) seemed to conspire to help make that happen. The pain of my continuing to drink got worse and worse until I finally surrendered and completely gave up. I surrendered to the fact that I didn't have any answers and I did not know what to do any more.
Only then I was teachable. I was able to listen to others finally and all I had to do was do what I was told and follow directions. Only then was I able to finally get sober.
Only then I was teachable. I was able to listen to others finally and all I had to do was do what I was told and follow directions. Only then was I able to finally get sober.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I agree that you are suffering a slow miserable death by continuing to drink. Stew, you'll get over the relationship....eventually. We all do. And so will you. At this point I think you need to let someone take the wheel, you're not doing a very good job at steering the ship. What I mean by that, is walk into a hospital or rehab center and ask them for help. Professional help my friend. Its what you need.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 374
Stop drinking ...words are neither here nor there
If and only IF you want this badly enough then you can do it ..
Yep it's hard but anything worth having doesn't come easy ..
You owe it to your daughter and most importantly to yourself
Pour the poison away
X
If and only IF you want this badly enough then you can do it ..
Yep it's hard but anything worth having doesn't come easy ..
You owe it to your daughter and most importantly to yourself
Pour the poison away
X
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 103
Reading your thread made me think of the below story. Hope it makes you take action.
A farmer is in Iowa during a flood. The river is overflowing. Water is surrounding the farmer’s home up to his front porch. As he is standing there, a boat comes up. The man in the boat says, “Jump in, and I’ll take you to safety.”
The farmer crosses his arms and says stubbornly, “Oh no thanks, I put my trust in God.” The boat goes away. The water rises to the second story. Another boat comes up. The man says to the farmer, who is now at the second floor window, “Hurry, jump in. I’ll save you.”
The farmer again says, “Oh no thanks, I put my trust in God.”
The boat goes away. Now the water is inching over the roof. As the farmer stands on the roof, a helicopter comes over, and drops a ladder. The pilot yells down to the farmer, “I’ll save you. Climb the ladder.”
The farmer yells back, “Oh no thanks, I put my trust in God.”
The helicopter goes away. The water continues to rise and sweeps the farmer off the roof into the swiftly moving water. Unfortunately, he drowns.
The farmer goes to heaven. God sees him and says, “What are you doing here?”
The farmer says, “I put my trust in you, and you let me down.”
God says, “What do you mean, let you down? I sent you two boats and a helicopter!”
A farmer is in Iowa during a flood. The river is overflowing. Water is surrounding the farmer’s home up to his front porch. As he is standing there, a boat comes up. The man in the boat says, “Jump in, and I’ll take you to safety.”
The farmer crosses his arms and says stubbornly, “Oh no thanks, I put my trust in God.” The boat goes away. The water rises to the second story. Another boat comes up. The man says to the farmer, who is now at the second floor window, “Hurry, jump in. I’ll save you.”
The farmer again says, “Oh no thanks, I put my trust in God.”
The boat goes away. Now the water is inching over the roof. As the farmer stands on the roof, a helicopter comes over, and drops a ladder. The pilot yells down to the farmer, “I’ll save you. Climb the ladder.”
The farmer yells back, “Oh no thanks, I put my trust in God.”
The helicopter goes away. The water continues to rise and sweeps the farmer off the roof into the swiftly moving water. Unfortunately, he drowns.
The farmer goes to heaven. God sees him and says, “What are you doing here?”
The farmer says, “I put my trust in you, and you let me down.”
God says, “What do you mean, let you down? I sent you two boats and a helicopter!”
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Scott is on point.
We have all been in the dryer cycle with alcohol - back and forth, through the ringer again and again.
But to say you don't know what to do is incredulous. You can just say you don't want to do it. You don't want to endure the pain and frustration and challenge that you need to for YOUR SON.
I have a son. I've come close to the edge. And I've failed numerous times.
I've contemplated, like many of us, that it might be easier just not to be alive. I've looked at the bums on the streets of my city and actually thought, "Man it might be nice just to give in..."
But I know I can't.
You keep coming back here - which shows that inside of you there is a self that wants to get better, live better, do better by yourself and by your son.
You need to access that self. Maybe the first step is to stop acting like you don't know what to do.
It's simple af - just stop drinking.
We have all been in the dryer cycle with alcohol - back and forth, through the ringer again and again.
But to say you don't know what to do is incredulous. You can just say you don't want to do it. You don't want to endure the pain and frustration and challenge that you need to for YOUR SON.
I have a son. I've come close to the edge. And I've failed numerous times.
I've contemplated, like many of us, that it might be easier just not to be alive. I've looked at the bums on the streets of my city and actually thought, "Man it might be nice just to give in..."
But I know I can't.
You keep coming back here - which shows that inside of you there is a self that wants to get better, live better, do better by yourself and by your son.
You need to access that self. Maybe the first step is to stop acting like you don't know what to do.
It's simple af - just stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
I had to want to not drink more than anything else in life to find my way through to the other side. NOTHING was worth picking up that first drink. It doesn't really take that long to put the past behind you Stewy and get on with it. It's evident that you want to take alcohol out of your life, but how bad do you want it Stewy? What are you willing to do to get to the other side? The courses you have been taking have not worked for you, you have proven that to yourself (over and over again). Do you really want to still be stuck in the same place another year? Life is short my friend. Stop wasting time and do what you need to do to start living it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You're not sick enough apparently? Oh, it will get worse. Keep doing what you're doing.
We'll be here to cheer you on IF/WHEN you do stop drinking.
Seems kind of pointless for all of us to spend our lives trying to help someone who isn't ready, to be honest.
We'll be here to cheer you on IF/WHEN you do stop drinking.
Seems kind of pointless for all of us to spend our lives trying to help someone who isn't ready, to be honest.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Hi Stewy,
I'm glad you are here and sober today. You said you have a job opportunity this Friday, a good place to start today would be to investigate Intensive Outparient programs around the hours you work.
I truly think you need to seek outside support, what you are doing isn't working. Try putting all of the emotions you have into recovery. You've done this before, you can do it now.
I'm glad you are here and sober today. You said you have a job opportunity this Friday, a good place to start today would be to investigate Intensive Outparient programs around the hours you work.
I truly think you need to seek outside support, what you are doing isn't working. Try putting all of the emotions you have into recovery. You've done this before, you can do it now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 604
Stew, I've read your threads for quite a while now. Honestly you seem to whine on about things that make me cringe. Your life isn't all that complicated for what you have this brand new day - you are at ground zero, here today. Hello? But you aren't Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. You know what to do. Stop drinking. You know the relationship with your GF was toxic. Move on. Focus on what you can do - that is to stop drinking. Be emotionally and physically present for yourself and your child. Take it one day at a time. If your life is messed up, clean it up. I still like Lessgravity's former saying, no one is going to save you. You save yourself and you give your child a role model of the man you can be. You can do this.
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