digdug

You know going away isn't going to work, Stew. It didn't work when we all tried it. It didn't work when you tried it several times before. So now is the time to try something different.

Change is scary. Putting yourself out there is scary. But you know what is also scary? Almost dying from alcoholism. I've been sober over 5 years and I still get flashbacks and nightmares. I don't want that for you.

I bet you're great dad when you're sober. I bet you're a good, kind person when you're sober. Problem is, you're not sober. The great thing is, the solutions are not only out there, they are right here in this single thread.

tomsteve

FEAR=
**** Everything And Run
or
Face Everything And Recover.

Stew1984

I’m not worthy of such kind support. Really, think I’ve become a nasty nasty person. I’m going to go. Not deserving of this

Change4good

Okay Stew, just stop it with this. Damn it. Of course you are worthy of support, and you are not a "nasty nasty" person. But you ARE acting like one. There is a difference. I imagine you are drinking right now, and what I said up thread, and what others have said, isn't registering.

When you are sober, examine why you are posting, what you want, and what you are willing to do to get there. We have communicated this to you in six ways from Sunday.

You say you are going away, but you are still here. That is good. Now put down the drink, and stop with the childish, attention seeking behavior. (Yes, I said that.)

ScottFromWI

But you have not prioritized her over your drinking now, have you? If you did you would have quit drinking completely a long time ago. And I'd be willing to bet that the "cases" where you prioritize your social life over her involve drinking too - don't they?

Bottom line, I thought I was being a good father and husband when I was drinking too, but I was not. Your addition will tell you things are fine but it's a lie. I am sure your daughter knows who her dad is - kids are a lot more perceptive than we think. Think about that for a bit.

Hevyn

Hi Stewy. You sound like a completely different person when you're somewhat sober. You see the reality of your situation - you admit that your relationship wasn't working, that drinking is making you weak. I'm sorry that you get angry & defensive when we try to help you move off square one. I know you see the truth - & you've known for a long time what needs to be done.

Drinking is making you weak & unable to cope. We all get it. You are part of us and we don't want you to leave. Please don't spend another year in this cycle of desperation & misery that you've put yourself in. Time to admit there's no relief or comfort in alcohol. It's keeping you down & preventing you from truly living. Stewy, we care about you - please take action.

Anna

Stewy, you know that we are here for you. You are judging yourself as 'nasty'. We are not judging you.

Caralara144

Hey stu
You have to get real here ... reality is not drinking and being a good parent end off !
I know ..I was drinking wine every night ignoring my 9 year old daughter because I was a selfish bitch...I put alcohol in front of her needs time an time again ...
Now I'm sober (4 months ) And I realize how very wrong I was
Today I'm a great mum ..I love doing things with my daughter Im in no hurry for her to grow up now
Alcohol is your worst enemy and will destroy everything in your path ...
Your feeding a snake that's going to eat you alive some day ...that's a fact
PLEASE don't destroy your life anymore
Get that help x

Wastinglife

AA is not anonymous. Been followed there for years.

Dee74

Looks like its the day of the truth bombs Stewy.

Every one of the tough love responses here is from someone who's stuck with you resolutely over the course of many months and many threads Stewy.

That's pretty special. I hope you realise that.

Its natural to be scared when the support gets 'real' Stewy - but running away is not the answer.

If you use SR for your recovery as much as you've used it for your drinking your world could be very different in a month or two.

I'm with Change4Good too.

Being there for your daughter in a physical and a financial sense is one thing but can you really 'be there' emotionally for her when you're in this spin cycle of drink hangover drink hangover?

Just something else to consider. Not to beat your breast over, or cry in despair at what a bad parent you are - just something else to soberly consider about the impact of 'Cyclone Stewy' right now.

I really hope you follow through with something. Anything.

Give 100% too. Give more than just a day or two to whatever path you decide to follow.

My life is immeasurably better since I stopped being cyclone Dee

D

Dee74

I'm sorry you still feel that way WL. I hope you've stopped drinking too. Take care of yourself man

D

DontRemember

When I first heard this in court ordered AA..I was like "oh sh*t!!"..it had been me since joining here. Going away and 'hiding' isn't going to fix anything,Stew.. It's like if the police are at your door to arrest you and they know you're in there...you think they're leaving? Stop running and own your stuff!

DontRemember

Was there any 'fallout' from you trying to seek help to better yourself? I wouldn't think so.

Forward12

Sounds like the same ones following you, are going to the same place for help.
If you meant this in a derogatory way, then a mental health professional may be needed.

Dee74

read some of WLs other threads for some context guys.

D

Forward12

Sounds like this is more than needed Dee,..

SoberLeigh

Stewy, you know what to do.

First and foremost, don't drink - come hell or high water.

Formulate a rock solid Plan for sobriety which includes a strong sober support system and daily recovery work.

Follow the Plan.