KG77

No I think I am ok. I am definitely having some anxiety but I think that's the worst of it. I have chills too. But no other withdrawal symptoms. I am drinking Gatorade to try and get my body back in balance. 😔

KG77

Well as rock bottoms go I feel like this is it. It can't get worse than this. Except that it will if I don't stop. Maybe this is what I needed.

Rar

" It can't get worse than this. Except that it will if I don't stop."

Sadly it can and it will.

KG77

I know. That's why I have to get it right this time. If it's this bad the third time I drank after relapsing I can't imagine what worse would be. Well, I can actually. I'll be dead.

AnvilheadII

so what is your plan to assure sobriety?
what are you willing to do FOR your sobriety each and every day?
what WILL you do?

you are the key.

KG77

Today I won't drink.

Delilah1

KG, I'm glad you seem to have gotten past the initial physical feelings, I know those first few days are tough, but you have done this before, and can do it now.

I really found I needed to focus on recovery and having a plan in place. Not drinking today is a good start, what else did you do last time? What supports do you think you might add to help you stay sober for good this time?

DarklingSong

SR will be with you every step of the way. You can get through this.

KG77

Asking for help when I need it. Before I drink instead of after. I isolate and drink and don't let people help me. I feel terrible but mostly just hung over. I am not having withdrawals. That will come tonight. I get the night sweats really bad.

Carlotta

Make sure you take some vitamins and have some Gatorade or other sport drinks which will help you re-balance your electrolytes and stay hydrated. Having a couple of bananas handy can be a good source of potassium and help stop the nausea. If you don't have bananas, a baked potato will help with nausea too.

Algorithm

Consider that perhaps it would be far more accurate to say that getting drunk doesn't just happen. Maintaining an addiction usually takes a lot of planning, and usually a lot of work, as well.

Think it over.

KG77

It's exhausting. Food for thought for sure.

Algorithm

Why, then, should you fear abstinence?

KG77

I don't fear it.. But I do fear that I won't achieve it. That's the scariest thing for me. Is feeling like I'll never get it. And my drinking is escalating. I'm terrified. I mean, really I could have died Friday. I was out walking around in the snow drunk. I could've been hit by a car... like I HAVE to get sober this time. And I can't relapse again because I'm drinking more now than I was before I had 60 days.

Algorithm

You can both 'get it' and achieve it as soon as your BAC gets to zero, which shouldn't take too much longer. Remember, it is sustaining your addiction that takes much effort, planning, and hard work. Recovery is easy, by comparison.

The easier, softer way, so to speak.

That is the fundamental inversion that keeps you stuck.

KG77

Yes. I am sober now. Today I will stay that way.

KG77

I finally got some food in me. Not much, a bowl of chicken noodle soup from Panera. But it's something. I wanted to say thank you to everyone for helping me though this today. I will reread your messages often and make a plan.