Change4good

If your last drink was four hours ago, you might not yet be sober. Don't be embarrassed to go. Hospitals see this all the time. As was noted up thread, they don't know you, and it is their job to treat you. You need that. Your husband is mad, which is understandable. So you look after you right now. Get there. Call a cab.

Change4good

Sorry. Didn't see that your husband agreed to take you. As someone said, if you were drunk, you weren't thinking straight, and many have left AMA in that state. THIS time, if you go, don't leave. Shower and eat if you can, and go if things go sideways.

KG77

I am not sure if I need to go. I have never had bad withdrawal symptoms, but I guess that there is a first time for everything. I'm having really bad anxiety. I'm just exhausted. It's 6 am and I've been up since 2. And before that I was passed out. So my last drink was more than 4 hours ago, I just don't know exactly how much longer.

DarklingSong

Sorry to hear you are suffering KG. Since I started to try and get sober, every time I drink the mental and physical consequences are worse and worse. Yes, kindling must be part of it but I also feel that having experienced sobriety (even if it has been difficult), the return to drinking is filled with shame, self-loathing and fear.
Do go to the ER if you feel worse, don't be alone.
Most of all take it easy on yourself. You have suffered a set back but you can start again and learn from it.
Support to you.

Change4good

If you are only having bad anxiety, that is extremely uncomfortable (to put it mildly), but manageable until you can get through the first couple of days. You are exhausted, but can you take a walk to get your body and brain moving? For me, that is better than lying in bed letting the anxiety take over. If you husband is home all day, he can monitor you.

Curious what prompted you to go to the ER initially. Had you been before? Did they give you fluids or any meds?

KG77

I was picked up by an ambulance for being passed out in some ones lawn. Oh my GOD. No they didn't do anything because as soon as I woke up I left.

KG77

Yes the shame, self loathing and fear are really bad. I don't think i can ever show my face in my neighborhood again. 😓

DarklingSong

KG, the intensity of those feelings will abate if you can get a few days sober. They are being magnified by withdrawal. I have done plenty of things I'm not proud of but I know the longer I stay sober the more I am able to make amends, and forgive myself.
Forgive yourself......you relapsed. Most of us have at some stage. Just get the alcohol out of your system and in a few days things will start to be manageable again.
Take care.

Rar

I'm sure that's probably making your anxiety worse. Those feelings will fade with more sober time and sober actions, not only with you, but with your neighbors. They will move on to something else to think about. Take each day with a renewed commitment to living the best life you can. Do you attend AA meetings?

KG77

Thank you. I know you're right. I can't believe how fast everything went down hill. 2 weeks ago I relapsed after 60 days and I'm already drinking like I never quit. Worse actually... I am scared that I won't be able to do it again. But If I don't stop it's going to kill me.

KG77

I have tried AA . I just can't get into it. 😔

Rar

That's how I feel too. You don't have to do it again. As you know, it gets worse and worse.

KG77

I am so afraid of failing again. But I can't let fear keep me stuck. It will kill me.

Rar

That's why you have to make a plan so you don't fail. As has been said many times here, "You have to want to stop drinking more than you want to drink".

KG77

You're right. I have to do the work. Getting sober doesn't just happen.

Rar

Check out the secular section. (alternatives to 12 step program). The stickies are helpful too.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...r-connections/

Also, I listen to podcasts and read recovery books. I'm always trying to increase my knowledge and add to my toolbox.

KG77

I will try that, thank you.

tomsteve

MY plans worked great. they ALWAYS got me drunk.
taking the plans others have used to get and stay sober and incorporating them into my recovery has worked pretty good.

columbus

Please go now. Don't wait for worse.

Canuckleman45

Something will click, and it will all come together KG. I believe that. I'm firm in the belief that everybody has their own breaking point, and rock bottom. I tried AA. Found it useless. Tried meds, again useless. tried numerous things. what was my rock bottom, and worked for me was quite extreme, but worked. Then the hard work started, and continues every morning until bedtime.
Hang in there