Wife doesn't trust me...
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Glad to hear your recent posts, too, Less.
You made me think about how thrown I was last holiday season. It was my SECOND set sober - things had gone quite well when I was 9 mo sober and my brother and I were together with the whole fam, including my now husband and my one aunt and uncle - and my brother and I still have a ways to go in repairing the relationship I damaged badly. My husband and I didn't spend Christmas with my family but all was well....
Then last year, it was like BAM! Deja vu because my parents all of a sudden (to me!) brought up (very legit) examples of horrible past behavior, etc. I was so hurt! I def had to process that and accept it- like you said, we did what we did to deserve our loved ones' mistrust. And I have found it isn't always a linear process. BUT like you also said, it cannot - will not- deter me from my sober path.
Looking forward to whatever this holiday season brings - we are already making some concrete plans like lunch with the (step for me) kids on Tgvg day rather than waiting on their mom and working around her, which is fine bc she is last minute - and already discussing poss with my fam. But, no matter what, my husband and I are going to make decisions on the same page that are best for us - and love everyone no matter what their feelings are at any given moment
You made me think about how thrown I was last holiday season. It was my SECOND set sober - things had gone quite well when I was 9 mo sober and my brother and I were together with the whole fam, including my now husband and my one aunt and uncle - and my brother and I still have a ways to go in repairing the relationship I damaged badly. My husband and I didn't spend Christmas with my family but all was well....
Then last year, it was like BAM! Deja vu because my parents all of a sudden (to me!) brought up (very legit) examples of horrible past behavior, etc. I was so hurt! I def had to process that and accept it- like you said, we did what we did to deserve our loved ones' mistrust. And I have found it isn't always a linear process. BUT like you also said, it cannot - will not- deter me from my sober path.
Looking forward to whatever this holiday season brings - we are already making some concrete plans like lunch with the (step for me) kids on Tgvg day rather than waiting on their mom and working around her, which is fine bc she is last minute - and already discussing poss with my fam. But, no matter what, my husband and I are going to make decisions on the same page that are best for us - and love everyone no matter what their feelings are at any given moment
Once again I'm drawn to reading my old posts, reminding myself of from whence I came. This post imparticular popped into my head today. My wife is heading out of town this weekend, so I'll be alone with the kids for a couple nights. Nights alone used to be what my demons dreamed about - just enough hours to fill my body with as much poison as I could. Ugly, sweat drenched mornings of panic. Lies, lies and more lies.
Things are so different now. Mirror images. Trust, trust and more trust. Going to enjoy my time alone, catch up on reading. Do the right thing for my family Sobriety has given me everything - some things I had lost along the way, others I never knew I could have
Things are so different now. Mirror images. Trust, trust and more trust. Going to enjoy my time alone, catch up on reading. Do the right thing for my family Sobriety has given me everything - some things I had lost along the way, others I never knew I could have
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 449
Glad you returned to this thread lessgravity thoroughly enjoyed reading your journey. I liked seeing your willingness to adopt a different attitude over time. Also how you were able to listen to the responses on your thread and actually apply them. Something that I will definitely bear in mind when I'm faced with challenges.
You have come along way 👍
You have come along way 👍
Ugly, sweat drenched mornings of panic. Lies, lies and more lies.
Things are so different now. Mirror images. Trust, trust and more trust. Going to enjoy my time alone, catch up on reading. Do the right thing for my family Sobriety has given me everything - some things I had lost along the way, others I never knew I could have
Things are so different now. Mirror images. Trust, trust and more trust. Going to enjoy my time alone, catch up on reading. Do the right thing for my family Sobriety has given me everything - some things I had lost along the way, others I never knew I could have
It will only get better if you work it, lg!!
I went back and forth so much I never thought my partner would trust me again. Well trust me she did. Enough to become my wife, two years later.
Keep working your program, you will continue to be the spouse and parent you want to be.
Thank you for such an uplifting update!!
I went back and forth so much I never thought my partner would trust me again. Well trust me she did. Enough to become my wife, two years later.
Keep working your program, you will continue to be the spouse and parent you want to be.
Thank you for such an uplifting update!!
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