I left him with
 

I had been with my XABF for 2 years i didn’t know he was a alcoholic for a year into the relationship .. I just thought he liked drinking then u noticed it was morning .. afternoon .. evening he was abusive throughout our time together lied constantly . And assaulted me accused me of cheating almost everyday on the day that I left him I caught him lying to Me and that was the fact final straw I asked him to leave and he did he then keyed my car and smashed my window and wrote abusive letters to neighbours accusing me of cheating all this has stopped now and he’s went almost quiet I asked him not to call me ever again and make no comment contact I’m just struggling to come to terms with the lies and the end of the relationship he had good parts also and I did love him .. I just don’t know what to do now

Hi Lana,

I'm sorry for your situation and the abuse you suffered is just unacceptable. You might check out AlAnon in your city as a support for you. The following link will give you some insight into abuse and please know that you never have to live like that again. You are worth so much more.

Abuse Defined - The National Domestic Violence Hotline

Be glad he's gone. Abuse is never acceptable. :(

:grouphug:

Hi and welcome Lana :)

I'm also glad he's your ex.

Despite 'the good parts', I really believe abuse is never a part of a healthy good relationship, whether alcohol or drugs are involved or not.

D

Welcome Lana.

Good on you for taking your life back.
Top tip - don't expect him to come to like it, or understand your perspective. And be ready to report any more violence towards your possessions or yourself to the police. My dad was a 'bit of a nuisance' to my mum when she left him. After the police came and got him a few times his bitterness increased (as it was likely to anyway, because nothing was ever His fault), but he did keep a low profile.

I dunno if you use social media at all, but if you do I'd suggest NOT putting any of this stuff on there, and asking any mutual friends to not report back to you on anything he has said. All that stuff just adds drama and keeps everything going for longer. Just stick with your closest friends or somewhere that anonymity is valued and respected - as someone else mentioned, AlAnon is worth exploring.

I hope he simmers down soon.

BB

I thought all the abuse was down to alcohol and didn’t think they were seperate problems that’s why I was trying to understand why he was doing it and started to feel sorry for him I need to drop the feelings for him as he’s made me feel the lowest of the low I was drinking when I wasn’t with him For the sake of it as I knew He enjoyed it but I don’t have a problem I haven’t even looked at any alcohol so I know him being here was peer pressure .. do you eventually get over it ? It’s more the lies if I’m honest thanks very much for your reply x

Thank you I blocked him from any contact and that’s been under a month now he has tried to call a few times from a withheld number and I immediately hang up I sent a lawyers letter for him to back off and never redirected it back to me saying please don’t send junk mail I’m glad as we have no mutual friends and also he’s in another’s town x