Sad and scared
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Sad and scared
I feel like drinking. My husband said some hurtful things to me and as a result I said I would drive myself to the doctor tomorrow. I haven't driven in Florida in the 3 years we've been here, so I'm terrified. I'm trying to hang on and all I can think of is that a drink will calm me down. Maybe I'll care tomorrow, but I don't now.. I've gone for a walk (though I'm hobbling with my bad feet) and tried to distract myself, but I'm too sad and scared and keep mulling over the situation. Today is my 97th day. 
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Coming here was a great idea Rar, and 97 days is fantastic. Please remember that drinking right now is the worst possible decision you could make, and that it will only make eveyrything worse. It won't calm you down - in fact your anxiety and all the shame/fear that goes along with drinking will come right back -and likely much stronger than it has in the past.
So instead of mulling over it move on- make your plans for tomorrow, read a book, watch a movie, spend some time here - we're glad to have you.
So instead of mulling over it move on- make your plans for tomorrow, read a book, watch a movie, spend some time here - we're glad to have you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Rar - you are always a voice that I truly appreciate on these boards.
Treat yourself like you would treat one of us if we were in your situation. Know that nothing at all will be better in the end if you drink.
Stay strong and check in. The urge will pass.
Treat yourself like you would treat one of us if we were in your situation. Know that nothing at all will be better in the end if you drink.
Stay strong and check in. The urge will pass.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 976
I relapsed and went on a 10 day bender. Today is day 1. I have only been able to keep chicken broth down. I desperately need a shower. My family though supportive is disgusted with me. I am a sweaty mess. My hands are shaking so bad i can barely type this. I’m saying all of this as a reminder of what tomorrow can look like if you choose to drink.. please dont do it!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Rar, listen to these wise folks, and DO NOT drink! For me, 100 days was something of a turning point, I started to feel much more positive and at peace with my sobriety. You're too close to triple digits to turn back now! 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
I feel bad - sad because Husband screeched at me. He has put more volunteer work on his schedule, this time for Memorial Day, not asking if I wanted to do something. I said, "Good thing we never go anywhere". Well, he came unglued. He said, "Don't I take you anywhere you ask?". Well, the point is that I have to ask. I only ask for Dr. appointments. He complains about the traffic, no matter what time I make it - there's always a reason, tourists, rush hour, etc. , so I don't ask for any extra trips. Also, I have to schedule my Dr. appts on days he's not volunteering. We live in the Orlando area and there is lots we could be doing, He ended it by saying he was sick of my pity parties. That came out of the blue and I feel it was unjustified. So, because of that, I'm going to try to drive myself.
I know it sounds dumb to you folks, but I'm feeling very emotional and hurt.
I know it sounds dumb to you folks, but I'm feeling very emotional and hurt.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
I hope you're OK Rar. I understand your anxiety but as others have said, drinking will only make everything much worse. Try not to worry about tomorrow... you can deal with that then. Just focus on now. Stay strong and try to stay calm. These feelings will pass and you will never regret staying sober. If you drink, you will wake up with lots of regrets tomorrow .... and the anxiety you're feeling now will be multiplied. I'm thinking of you and sending lots of positive vibes your way xx
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 119
Rar...
you may want to call your doctor's office to see if they know of any volunteer or inexpensive "non-emergency transport" businesses.
these are people who offer cheap rides for doctor's appointments.
maybe there are volunteer agencies who can drive you.
that way, your husband is out of the picture and will leave you alone about this and it won't be an issue in the future.
don't treat yourself as he has.
be kind to yourself.
who should love you more than you do?
you may want to call your doctor's office to see if they know of any volunteer or inexpensive "non-emergency transport" businesses.
these are people who offer cheap rides for doctor's appointments.
maybe there are volunteer agencies who can drive you.
that way, your husband is out of the picture and will leave you alone about this and it won't be an issue in the future.
don't treat yourself as he has.
be kind to yourself.
who should love you more than you do?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
There would be people in my Park who would drive me. However, he would be mortified that I should have to resort to asking someone. One of the reasons I believe he volunteers so much is to look better in other's eyes and to receive praise.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 853
However anxious you feel about tomorrow you will feel a lot worse if you drink.
Its hard for loved ones being around someone in recovery or indeed an active addict.
The stresses and strains recovery places on relationships are often over looked as we focus on our recovery and our own troubles.
You've done amazingly well to be sober for as long as you, don't throw it away because of an argument, regardless of how bad it was.
There are some really kind and wise words in this thread from others, but the key thing I would repeat is that you have to love yourself, not hate yourself.
Don't allow the beast to take tomorrow from you.
Its hard for loved ones being around someone in recovery or indeed an active addict.
The stresses and strains recovery places on relationships are often over looked as we focus on our recovery and our own troubles.
You've done amazingly well to be sober for as long as you, don't throw it away because of an argument, regardless of how bad it was.
There are some really kind and wise words in this thread from others, but the key thing I would repeat is that you have to love yourself, not hate yourself.
Don't allow the beast to take tomorrow from you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
Please don't drink, Rar. There is no situation on earth that alcohol would not make infinitely worse. It's not right that your husband snapped at you when you are putting in so much hard work. Do a little something kind for yourself this evening and try to relax. Do you have funds for Uber?
Things may well be better tomorrow, but if you give in to the urge to drink they will without question be worse. Sending you love and strength.
Things may well be better tomorrow, but if you give in to the urge to drink they will without question be worse. Sending you love and strength.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
My husband is a drinker - probably an alcoholic and was drinking when he screeched at me. He just woke up from his afternoon 'nap', after drinking . Actually, he drinks much more than I ever did. I was the one who had sense enough to stop. We've never discussed my stopping. He continues to drink and I don't.
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