Sad and scared
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 604
Seems to me that you could figure out a better way to be self sufficient so you don't have to rely on your husband to get around. I've heard great things about Uber and Lyft. Your life could take on a whole new dynamic if you could wrap your head around the fact that you are entitled to have a life beyond medical appointments!
Drinkers are on a different mental plane than sober people! Tell him to get over it already and make your plan to get to your Dr visit without him. Deep breathing here, hope you get through your evening without caving in.
Drinkers are on a different mental plane than sober people! Tell him to get over it already and make your plan to get to your Dr visit without him. Deep breathing here, hope you get through your evening without caving in.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 327
Rar, sounds like your husband is being very selfish. Maybe he'll change his mind about taking you if you tell him you'll call an Uber instead.
Be good to yourself. Drinking will not change his behavior.
Enjoy the fresh air and sun. It's still miserable in the northeast!
Just commit to not drinking today. Tomorrow you'll be grateful you didn't.
Be good to yourself. Drinking will not change his behavior.
Enjoy the fresh air and sun. It's still miserable in the northeast!
Just commit to not drinking today. Tomorrow you'll be grateful you didn't.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Originally Posted by Ladysadie 
Seems to me that you could figure out a better way to be self sufficient so you don't have to rely on your husband to get around. I've heard great things about Uber and Lyft. Your life could take on a whole new dynamic if you could wrap your head around the fact that you are entitled to have a life beyond medical appointments!
Drinkers are on a different mental plane than sober people! Tell him to get over it already and make your plan to get to your Dr visit without him. Deep breathing here, hope you get through your evening without caving in.
Drinkers are on a different mental plane than sober people! Tell him to get over it already and make your plan to get to your Dr visit without him. Deep breathing here, hope you get through your evening without caving in.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 327
Originally Posted by Rar
This is very good advice and so tomorrow, I'm going to suck it up and drive. I have no problem getting around in New York. I live in a small city and have driven all around the state (except NYC and Long Island) by myself. The Orlando traffic is horrible, but I have to suck it up and just do it. Otherwise I'll continue to be trapped and dependent upon his schedule and good will.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm sorry you were hurt Rar 
I think many of us here lashed out at those closest to us when anything threatened to hurt our drinking, and thats may be at the bottom of your husbands action here.
I dunno much about FL but I guess a cab is out of the question?
D
I think many of us here lashed out at those closest to us when anything threatened to hurt our drinking, and thats may be at the bottom of your husbands action here.
I dunno much about FL but I guess a cab is out of the question?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Originally Posted by Dee74
I'm sorry you were hurt Rar
I think many of us here lashed out at those closest to us when anything threatened to hurt our drinking, and thats may be at the bottom of your husbands action here.
I dunno much about FL but I guess a cab is out of the question?
D
I think many of us here lashed out at those closest to us when anything threatened to hurt our drinking, and thats may be at the bottom of your husbands action here.
I dunno much about FL but I guess a cab is out of the question?
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 75
Orlando traffic does suck, I go there a few times a year for business, it can be pretty bad.
If you have ever used Uber that's the best option and always cheaper than a cab. It can be a hassle if your not used to the app however.
Just don't drink and tomorrow will work it's self out. A friend of mine always says., " don't bring tomorrow's troubles into today "
If you have ever used Uber that's the best option and always cheaper than a cab. It can be a hassle if your not used to the app however.
Just don't drink and tomorrow will work it's self out. A friend of mine always says., " don't bring tomorrow's troubles into today "
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 604
You can do this. Think of it as practicing if your husband were to predecease you. It can't be too difficult as in Florida the general population are all "blue hairs"aren't they?
You're going to love your new found freedom. You should stop on your way coming back to go into a special store that you've always wanted to browse through, you know the kind you don't want your husband out in the car waiting. I always enjoyed shopping more when I knew no one was waiting for me!
You're going to love your new found freedom. You should stop on your way coming back to go into a special store that you've always wanted to browse through, you know the kind you don't want your husband out in the car waiting. I always enjoyed shopping more when I knew no one was waiting for me!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
First off, Rar, congrats on 97 days! That's a big deal!
Next, please appreciate that there will be bumps in the road. I say not to minimize what you're going through...I know it's tough! But there's an old say that pops up again and again at SR: It isn't always easy but it's always worth it. I really think that's true!
Getting sober is a big [and life saving!] change for you, but it's probably a big change for him as well. Try to give him space to adjust while insisting that he give you yours as well.
Hang in there, Rar! You're well on your way.
Next, please appreciate that there will be bumps in the road. I say not to minimize what you're going through...I know it's tough! But there's an old say that pops up again and again at SR: It isn't always easy but it's always worth it. I really think that's true!
Getting sober is a big [and life saving!] change for you, but it's probably a big change for him as well. Try to give him space to adjust while insisting that he give you yours as well.
Hang in there, Rar! You're well on your way.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
" It can't be too difficult as in Florida the general population are all "blue hairs"aren't they? "
That's one of the issues which make it cray - no turn signals, can't see well, pull out in front of you, change lanes abruptly, etc.
I am looking at this experience as practice - still scared though. My appointment is a pre-surgery appointment for blood work, and is this afternoon. Wish me luck.
Oh - I didn't drink last night. Day 98 today.
That's one of the issues which make it cray - no turn signals, can't see well, pull out in front of you, change lanes abruptly, etc.
I am looking at this experience as practice - still scared though. My appointment is a pre-surgery appointment for blood work, and is this afternoon. Wish me luck.
Oh - I didn't drink last night. Day 98 today.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You're going to be fine, Rar.
Flip your thinking to, "I got this, no biggie. Once I get back I will make plans to drive myself somewhere else *fun* that I want to go."
I live in a big city with really bad traffic and I'm old and I've never had an accident or gotten a ticket. Just take your time. It will be fine.
It's an Adventure! I hope your doctor appointment goes smoothly. Maybe ask them about medical vans? In my area there are lots of options for public and private transportation to and from medical appointments.
You're not helpless. Take the reins!
Flip your thinking to, "I got this, no biggie. Once I get back I will make plans to drive myself somewhere else *fun* that I want to go."
I live in a big city with really bad traffic and I'm old and I've never had an accident or gotten a ticket. Just take your time. It will be fine.
It's an Adventure! I hope your doctor appointment goes smoothly. Maybe ask them about medical vans? In my area there are lots of options for public and private transportation to and from medical appointments. You're not helpless. Take the reins!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hey Rar
I'm late to the party but don't be afraid to call Uber:
Today, we’re introducing Uber Health as a way to partner with healthcare organizations to provide reliable, comfortable transportation for patients. The dashboard allows healthcare professionals to order rides for patients going to and from the care they need. We are also launching an Uber Health API to enable easy integrations into existing healthcare products. Developed with healthcare in mind, new features include:
Straight off Ubers website. The dr arranges the ride and I'm pretty darn sure health insurance pays for it. Make Uber your knew friend. Even if you use it to go get your nails done it is pretty cheap. Download the app.
But in the event of this apt, call the dr and have them do it for you if the driving proves too much.
Then tomorrow start taking that car out for short rides. Get comfortable. You can do this.
I'm late to the party but don't be afraid to call Uber:
Today, we’re introducing Uber Health as a way to partner with healthcare organizations to provide reliable, comfortable transportation for patients. The dashboard allows healthcare professionals to order rides for patients going to and from the care they need. We are also launching an Uber Health API to enable easy integrations into existing healthcare products. Developed with healthcare in mind, new features include:
Straight off Ubers website. The dr arranges the ride and I'm pretty darn sure health insurance pays for it. Make Uber your knew friend. Even if you use it to go get your nails done it is pretty cheap. Download the app.
But in the event of this apt, call the dr and have them do it for you if the driving proves too much.
Then tomorrow start taking that car out for short rides. Get comfortable. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 350
Hi Rar
Sorry I was not around yesterday when you really needed responses, I am glad to see that you have had many reply's and good advice from concerned members.
You can't drink We both have 120 and then 150 day milestones coming so you see you simply can't! 😁
Regarding driving I would go with your heart on that one if you feel up to it why not so long as you are not planning on setting any land speed records it might well be rewarding to do this.
Alternatively if you change your mind ask a friend and don't worry about how hubby feels if he has not pulled his socks up that will be some guilt that he will have to deal with.
Good luck Rar
Sorry I was not around yesterday when you really needed responses, I am glad to see that you have had many reply's and good advice from concerned members.
You can't drink We both have 120 and then 150 day milestones coming so you see you simply can't! 😁
Regarding driving I would go with your heart on that one if you feel up to it why not so long as you are not planning on setting any land speed records it might well be rewarding to do this.
Alternatively if you change your mind ask a friend and don't worry about how hubby feels if he has not pulled his socks up that will be some guilt that he will have to deal with.
Good luck Rar
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Lot's of great suggestions to help you see that you aren't helpless. I know it's not easy, but try not to take what your husband says personally. That's all his perception and more a reflection on him than you.
I was scared to drive for a very long time and hadn't driven much at all in the first place, so I never felt very confident. It was so bad that when we moved to the suburbs I chose to get along without a car for the first 3 years here.
We started getting tired of that and since my husband can't drive, it was up to me to brush up my driving skills with an instructor and then buy my very first car at 48. It took me a while to get some confidence and I still don't drive much, but with practice and taking it slowly, I now have the freedom to get around with a car. (Funny though, after 10 years I'm contemplating going carless again, but haven't made up my mind on that.)
The point is that once you get in the car and take it slowly until you get used to it, you will have a new freedom and confidence. Drinking might give temporary relief, but in my case at least, the price for that is now way more than I'm willing to pay.
I was scared to drive for a very long time and hadn't driven much at all in the first place, so I never felt very confident. It was so bad that when we moved to the suburbs I chose to get along without a car for the first 3 years here.
We started getting tired of that and since my husband can't drive, it was up to me to brush up my driving skills with an instructor and then buy my very first car at 48. It took me a while to get some confidence and I still don't drive much, but with practice and taking it slowly, I now have the freedom to get around with a car. (Funny though, after 10 years I'm contemplating going carless again, but haven't made up my mind on that.)
The point is that once you get in the car and take it slowly until you get used to it, you will have a new freedom and confidence. Drinking might give temporary relief, but in my case at least, the price for that is now way more than I'm willing to pay.
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